One thing I have carefully avoided talking about is increasingly making it hard to talk frankly in my blog. It is a vital aspect of my life and probably the only real reason I am thinking of giving up working.
I did not work from mid 2003 to early 2006. It was because, after I married, I decided to have a baby. I was blessed with a beautiful little girl who is now over 3 years old. I love her so much and I am worried that my working creates a risk for her.
What if she finds out? How can I explain to an innocent little girl about what I do? I enjoy my work but can I expose her to the impact of my behaviour? It is one of the main topics of conversation between John and me as we try to resolve the conflicts of our lifestyle and our daughter’s demands.
John is just as protective of our daughter and loves her so deeply. He is far from opposed to my working on most other grounds (apart from my safety amd health) but says we must think about the consequences. I do not want to quit but probably will. John is turned on by being married to a whore but he is very supportive of my quitting.
I should have mentioned this earlier but I am ashamed that as a mother, I am still working as a whore. I feel too self indulgent.
Poll in Yahoo:
Should I quit working?
Yes 0
No 2
Between me and John 2
My decision 1
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Friday 19 October 2007 - 04:26PM (EST)
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