Oh dear! Jane arrived on my front door with her two kids (actually she rang first) – she said she has run away from her husband, after he got violent and asked if she could stay a day or so until she finds a place of her own. She said that I was her only friend whose address her husband doesn’t know.
I was not particularly welcoming and I am worried she is trying to get between John and me but John said it was ok and if her husband is really violent we should help her. Our flat is now very crowded. It is 3 bedrooms all full of people – John and me in one, Jane in another and the children in the third. John asked if I wanted to let Jane sleep with me in the main bedroom and for him to sleep in the small room. I feel that he is worried about whether I care for him and that he is testing me.
He always says that if I want to be free, he won’t stop me. He says he knows he is much older than me and says he thinks he is very lucky to have a young and horny girl like me. I know he has a lot of doubt that I can really love him. I wish he had more confidence – after all he is the most supportive and clever man I know. Given Jane’s room is right next to ours, I deliberately fucked John loudly last night – I want to show her John is still my focus.
Wednesday 17 October 2007 - 07:21AM (EST)
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