More FAQs

1) Does your husband read your blog?

Yes – and I do use it to give him messages – like when I am angry or worried but cannot say it to his face. I am always careful to be sure that he will understand what I write and not take it the wrong way because, if others misunderstand me, that’s ok but if I upset him, I am hurting the most important person to me. Fortunately we are very open and he knows almost everything, even including the fact that I have had women lovers and that I am very attracted to them.


2) Do you let your husband fuck other women?

Yes. I can get quite jealous about sharing him but given how many people fuck me, I cannot expect him not to screw other women. My biggest fear is that he gets into a relationship with a better woman than me. So, I prefer he fucks hookers who regard it as a commercial thing.


3) Do you prefer men or women?


I am married to a man – he is my number one preference. But I find that I am very attracted to women. I love holding and kissing a woman and gently touching and exploring each others bodies. Apart from my husband, my closest friends are all women and I have strong sexual relationships with some of them


4) Do you ever fake it?


Sorry to say, yes. If it turns a man on, I will fake an orgasm. I cannot climax with every man and some days I am not really even in the mood. I try to enjoy it but will act if it helps. (I probably should have answered no – but I want to be honest.)


5) What was your best fuck?

The first time with my husband. We went wild. He was my third partner but it was the first time I enjoyed sex. I wrote about it before, so I won’t say more


6) What has been your worst experience?


There are three events in my life that have truly haunted me. Two are sexual and one non-sexual. I still cannot really bring myself to put one of the events on my blog. John has helped me deal with it and I know it should be possible to talk about it but I can’t.


The non-sexual event is the death of my father. I was alienated from him for quite some time and it is thanks to John’s pushing me that I reconciled with him and he understood what my problem was. I found I had been totally unfair to him and I wish I had spoken to him earlier. Unfortunately, he did of a heart attack about 6 months after I talked to him again and, 4 years on, I still miss him so much.


The third event is one I am determined to face. I was raped. It happened when I left work one night. Two Chinese guys grabbed me to “teach me a lesson for disgracing Chinese”. If we had not been interrupted, I am not sure I wouldn’t have been killed or at least cut up a lot.


Some people say you can’t rape a prostitute. That is a complete lie. When I fuck a client I do it freely. In all my fantasies, I have some level of control. Here I was frightened and abused – it was not sexually exciting and I still find a level of fear when I think of it.


The rape damaged me. I nearly gave up working – and felt scared of men. I forced myself to work as an act of defiance against these men. Only Sue really helped me. John was still living with his ex-wife and I didn’t tell him. I didn’t want him to worry or tell me to stop working and also I thought he might value me less. He saw I was hurting and tried to find out what was wrong but I kept silent.


When I told him, I think he was a little hurt that I didn’t trust him more (although he has never said it) and I regret I didn’t tell him. He has talked me through it quite a bit and it is thanks to Sue and to him that it didn’t damage me more and I can talk about it now.

Wednesday 17 October 2007 - 09:05AM (EST)