Why my blog?

I used to go into chat rooms quite often to blow off steam. I hoped it would clear my head but it didn't really do so. I find writing this blog is more helpful for me. I talk about things and they become a little clearer.

I know what I write sound pretty dumb - but I am not that clever. Maybe it sounds like I am recommending being a prostitute - I am not - too many girls get destroyed by it - it bangs their minds around - you have to be able to detach yourself when you have a strange man on top of you - you need to be able to accept that most people regard you as strange. Men will either think that they can treat you like a sex object, regard you as someone to be rescued (they cannot believe you freely work) or just avoid you as a fallen woman. Women are worse - they can be jealous of your sexuality, fearful of you as a competitor, morally disgusted at you or just plain contemptuous. Some of the comments I have got from women are the most hurtful - I don't mind men's sexually explicit remarks or even when they call me a slut or something like that. What I hate is the way women can ridicule me and make me feel even more stupid than I am.

I am working through a lot of issues at the moment and as I said in an earlier post, I can be pretty down at times. I have talked a lot about the past but when I write I think a lot about me then and now. I wish I was still as innocent.

This blog doesn't cover my main issues but it talks about a part of me that I often find hard to talk about with people. I sometimes fee that even though so much of my life is spent having sex with strangers, I am not really facing what I do honestly. This is what the blog is about.


Wednesday 8 August 2007 - 07:17AM (EST