I am back at work after the rape and quite busy but I cannot lie, it is not fun at the moment and I am doing it very automatically. I have relied on lube much more than at any time I can think of. I think I have lost 3 or 4 of my regulars since I am no more “spontaneous”. I am afraid I do not really care that I have lost them.
The first day back, I actually felt quite sick when I sucked and fucked the clients. Touching men was a complete turn-off. It was hard for me to face them but I forced myself. Gradually I have become more used to it but I am still not getting pleasure from being a “slut” as I did before.
It makes me think of what I wrote earlier about girls who hate working and how they are better off getting out. I will see how it goes but I am not sure if I can continue to work.
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