I was on chat last weekend – something I have only a little time for, given my busy life - when within about an hour, two people I had liked and respected said things which have made me revise my whole opinion and which have deeply upset me.

First, I was talking with one friend (now ex-friend) when he started talking about how he had got drunk and went to bed with a woman who fell asleep. Then the 13 year-old daughter came into the room- at this point I expected him to tell me how extremely embarrassed he was but instead he started to tell me how the girl climbed into bed and she started to fondle him He was going to tell me more but I cut him off. I hope it was fantasy because if it wasn’t, it is criminal. Even telling me this offends me.

Then about half an hour later, a friend I have chatted with a lot started telling me how he had started chatting with a 14 year old – he justified it by saying he thought she was 15! To be fair, it sounds like she initiated the sexual side of the conversation but he was still participating.

So why was I so upset? Maybe as a hooker, I should be tolerant of different sexual actions but children are so off-limit to me that the conversation made me feel sick in the stomach. It pulled back horrors into my mind of things that I thought I had passed. Unspeakable thoughts of abuse – being used and mistreated.

I was so upset that I was in tears and when my sister saw me, she asked me what was wrong and I explained in a garbled fashion. She hugged me a bit and said I should talk to John. (Savita was at her parents.) I was amazed by her generosity but she knew how John had worked me through the worst horror of my life.

John talked to me as the close friend he is. He told me that I am not just being a prude. He said that the trouble is that children of 13 or 14 need to be protected and that the actions we take can impact them a lifetime. He said that my perspective on it made me particularly sensitive but also my moral compass was right on target since I was disgusted by the destruction of innocence of people at a vulnerable age.

John also let me talk and get the emotions out. My sister tactfully removed herself and took my daughter out to the shopping centre – I had planned to take her there since it was stinking hot in the flat. It is a sign of the strength of their relationship that my sister now trusts us together so freely. John was so supportive as a friend that I felt a lot better.

My view is now clearer. In both cases, the girl made the first moves but sometimes, we must say “no”. I believe this deeply and it pains me that people I trusted could not draw this line. I think I lost two friends in such a short time.