Family Problems

Last weekend, Savita and I went to Melbourne. This was an opportunity for Savita to meet my family. She had met my mother and they had got on o.k. but that was at a time straight after my rape and everything was quite disrupted and Savita was not my established partner.

I was quite nervous about how my family would treat my life partner. We flew down Friday night and arrived after dinner. Mum met us but my brother and sister-in-law were out. Mum was marvellous- when Savita arrived she gave us both a big hug and was just so nice to Savita, treating her like a respected guest, saying to her how pleased she was to welcome her daughter’s partner. She showed us to the room- actually my sister’s room - and told Savita how my sister kept singing her praises. She said she was delighted by how happy Savita was making me and thanked her .I was just so glad that Mum could be so supportive.

Saturday daytime, we went out and looked around a bit. Savita was not very familiar with Melbourne and we had a lovely walk around the Botanic Gardens as well going to the Art Gallery. Savita enjoyed the ride on a tram and we had a wonderful day

Unfortunately, that was the upbeat bit. Dinner was not a happy affair. Mum tried to warm things up but my brother and his wife were decidedly frosty. Savita became clearly uncomfortable despite Mum’s best efforts. My brother and sister-in-law barely spoke and when they did it was so formal and rude that I wish they would keep quiet. So, in short, it was a miserable meal.

Later on, my brother and I had a talk. It was equally uncomfortable. He started with the question, “Are you really planning to spend you life with her?”

“Why not?”

“There are many more appropriate people.”

“Appropriate – how? Who?”

“Like John – he was better.”

I was furious and said to him “Haven’t you heard that John is now fucking our sister? She’s climbing on him and riding him every night – I get the details in full graphic glory – every fucking time he cums in her mouth – she is loving it – they are both real;ly happy - do you want to break that up?” I knew my words were very embarrassing to him and he was very uncomfortable. I wanted that – I was so angry at him.

“Besides, dear brother, I like pussy – I am a lesbian whore – get used to it.”

“At least you could have got a better partner -like Wei.”

”Why is Wei better?”

“She’s more appropriate.”

“Because she’s a whore like me?”

“No – not that – not that at all. She’s just more like us.”

Then it clicked. “You dirty little racist prick- I am ashamed to have you as a brother.” I said and stormed off.

I was in tears when Savita found me. I didn’t want to say anything but Savita had guessed it all. It was ridiculous but she comforted me, saying “Don’t be upset – I’m ok with it – I am not married to your brother – I’m married to you.” The word “married” surprised me a bit – quite positively but I was worried about Savita’s feelings.

“I shouldn’t have brought you – how dare that life prick insult you.”
Savita said “My mother insulted you first time I took you home – your mother has been so welcoming to me. I had a lovely talk with her just now. She couldn’t be nicer – she did warn me to look after you though. Let’s enjoy our time – tomorrow, you show me around Melbourne shopping– I’m the tourist here and we fly out in the evening.”

By now, Mum had found out about the argument and she was very upset, trying to make the peace but at the same time she told me “If your brother doesn’t apologise then don’t bend – looking at you two together, I know Savita is right for you – you cannot let him damage this. But he and his wife are good people – give them time – they’ll realise they are wrong on this – don’t cut them out too much.”

The rest of the stay was o.k. I was still pretty upset but Savita was determined to enjoy and we did some hard-core shopping. (A pair of shoes for me and a lovely (pricy) handbag for Savita) When I came back to Sydney, I mentioned my brother’s attitude to my sister and she said she would try to talk sense to him. I heard her a bit later and talking was less a thing than shouting and my sister hung off very angry. All she said to me was “I am so, so disappointed in him. He is so ignorant –please remember Mum and I are 100% in support.”

And I am so glad of their support!