My Stupid Brother

I had hoped that things would settle down between my brother and us but it turned even worse and I am really furious beyond belief. He went too far – he virtually forced Mum out of her own home by telling her that she must not talk to us until we apologised to him and started a more appropriate life-style.

Mum absolutely refused to agree and in the long run, she just packed up and walked out. She rang up my sister in tears and my sister calmed her and asked her to come here immediately – she is now in Sydney staying with her friends and is regularly calling around to our place– and most welcome by all of us. Even John is losing his air of caution about her.

My brother rang up John, asking where his mother is and John told him that he had to call her directly – after all he had her mobile number. John tried to calm things down but, in the end, John said he got so irritated by my brother’s unwillingness to even acknowledge the extended olive branches that he finished up saying in uncharacteristically outspoken and firm manner that he thought my brother needed to behave better to his mother and he should apologise to her.

(This is, however, understated relative to the venom that my sister is spitting towards our brother. In fact, I think John spoke out to make two points – that my brother’s actions were over the top and that he 100% supported his lover.) In the meantime, I am using the time to spend more time with my mother and letting our daughter get to know her grandmother. I think things will calm after a while but it is unacceptable that my mother feels unable to stay at her own home. I told her she should have kicked him out but she said she couldn’t do that.

I really wonder what is going on in my brother’s head. I think John may have hit the nail on the head when he suggested that maybe my brother is frustrated by his lack of control over things and is trying to assert his position at a time when he so desperately wants to be the head of family for his forthcoming child. Whatever it is, I wish he would act more like the warm and open person he had been in the past.