Well, another Christmas is upon us and I wish my reader (if there is even one) a very merry Christmas and a happy new year. I am working a couple of days between Christmas and the new year but spending most of the time with my family.
Savita will spend the 24th with her parents and be with me for Christmas Day and Boxing Day. My daughter is so excited with the prospect of so many presents. I wonder if she will sleep tonight.
But to anyone kind and patient enough to read my ramblings over the past year, thanks for putting up with the nonsense I write. Also may you all have a wonderful time and keep healthy and happy. I hope you are all as fortunate as me and have someone special to share this time with.
If you are alone at this time, I know how desolating it can be but look forward to the new year and new hopes – two years ago I was on my own, wondering whether I would be alone all the rest of my life. So always, there is hope. Good luck all my friends.
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Meera and Anka
Meera and Anka asked Savita and me out to dinner last week. It was a pleasant dinner and they enjoyed, I think, being with people with whom they did not need to hide their sexuality. They had booked a motel room so that they could have some time together.
They invited us back to the motel. Since they are Savita’s friends, I left it to her to decide. Savita seemed tired and I felt she probably wanted to go home but couldn’t say no. When we reached the motel, Savita sat down on the couch and Anka immediately sat down next to her and so I had to sit on the bed.
Meera said “Four gay girls together. Now what can we do?” She then opened a bottle of wine and took out four glasses and started to pour a drink into each, She passed one to Savita and the next to Anka but when she gave me, she slipped and the wine spilt out all over me and my top (white of course). The wine was (of course) red and I rushed to the bathroom to wash it out immediately. Meera “helped” me but effectively just stood by me, apologising. as I soaked and rubbed the stain. Meera said “Oh some went on your bra” and without consulting, unhooked my bra, took it off and put it in the washbasin. I rinsed the top and bra.
By the time we got back to the room, Anka was talking to Savita but her hand was on Savita’s leg, clearly exploring and Anka was pressing close to her. Savita caught my eyes as I walked into the room bare boobed and I gave her a reluctant smile of encouragement which resulted in her submitting more to Anka’s attentions. Actually I did not like seeing Anka fondling my lover at all but Meera said “Well, those two are enjoying themselves – are you jealous? Maybe we should make them jealous back” and she pulled me to her and started kissing me on my mouth, pushing her tongue into my mouth.
By this time Anka was kissing Savita and I couldn’t catch my lover’s eyes to see what she was thinking. Meera moved down to my tits which she started to kiss and suck upon. At the same time she was removing my jeans. Soon they were off and Meera had stripped down to only a bra and panties. I felt Meera’s hand push under my panties and explore my pussy, stimulating my clit before pushing into my hole and finger fucking me.
My body was responding and I was a bit wet but somehow I still wished that I wasn’t there – my heart wasn’t in it. I looked over to Savita – by this stage her panties were off and Anka was eating her out. She was very passive and did not seem at all turned on. She gave me a reassuring smile as if to say “go with the flow”.
Meera and I were on the bed by now. I moved around and started on her pussy. It was wet and she seemed to enjoy my licking and I worked on her pussy using tongue and fingers until she came. Then she said to Anka and Savita “Hey, you two, there’s room on the bed – don’t be shy.” Anka came over leading Savita with her and then Meera suggested we swap partners and she started playing with Savita while Anka licked my pussy. Anka was enthusiastic but clearly not that experienced and, to be honest, I wasn’t much turned on. When we changed and I was licking Anka, I could tell she was very turned on – she was moaning as my tongue flicked her clit and I gently stimulated her.
Anka was writhing with excitement – I guess my years of experience make it easy for me to know how to push another girl’s buttons even when my eyes were mainly on Savita who was now busy kissing Meera – I was quite jealous. Savita then moved into position and licked Meera and they pleasured each other. It seemed to me that Savita was quite remote throughout.
We continued for a while until both Meera and Anka seemed to be satisfied. Savita said she had cum so much and I pretended that I had also. Savita said that she had to go home because she had to work the next day but she said that I didn’t need to drive her and she could take a taxi if I wanted to stay – Savita cannot drive. I said I had t take my daughter out tomorrow morning early and so made my apologies.
We thanked Meera and Anka for a great evening and then left – it was a nuisance because my bra and top were still wet and quite uncomfortable but I had to wear them. It was about a 30 minute drive from the motel to our home. At first Savita was quiet and the she said, rather testily, “I’m sorry, Grace, that the sex wasn’t up to your standard – Meera and Anka don’t get much chance to do it. This was a very special occasion for them.”
“Savita, why do you think I was criticising?”
“You looked so uninvolved - you wouldn’t understand. Tell me: what were you really thinking?”
“I felt a sense of desperation. I think the two of them are not that much in love – but they want to be,. Meera acts brashly but I was the whole time trying to avoid doing anything to dent her surface because I reckon she could crumble at a single blow. As for Anka, she seems so scared that she’ll be found out and made to look silly – no confidence at all. It all seemed so desperate and sad but I wanted them so much to enjoy and feel better about themselves.”
Savita looked at me and said “Sometimes, Grace, you really surprise me – you saw it as well as me and did understood – I am sorry my darling, I really misjudged you – I’m so sorry– what you say is dead on. I thought you were being just obliging with them but when you say that, I see that you were busy trying to cover up their inexperience.. Darling, if I could love you any more I would.”
“I’m not just a pretty face you know Savita.” I joked.
“But you are a very pretty face my darling and sometimes I can’t read that face – and so sexy!”
“Not half as sexy as my darling Savita!”
I couldn’t hold off and I pulled into a dark carpark and pulled Savita to me and we kissed passionately as we caressed. Savita whispered into my ear, “Darling when we get home, I’m going to fuck my little Chinese girl so hard!“
“I thought you were tired.”
“Not for you, my hot little girl”
I drove the rest of the way home and we rushed upstairs and were quickly into our room where we quickly stripped and were over each other making frantic and passionate love. I felt so much from Savita’s touch and kisses as she explored my body and she seemed fully satisfied as I tasted and enjoyed her pussy as well as the rest of her beautiful body. It was not what we did as much as the passion with which we did it that drove us to glorious climaxes.
As we lay beside other, with that bitter-sweet after feeling, I commented to Savita “I can’t help feeling sorry for Meera and Anka – so sweet and yet, so sad, so lonely, desperately looking for love but unable to speak their desires.”
“I’ve been there”. Savita replied sadly.
“Never again, my darling”, I pledged pulling her to me as we nestled together.
They invited us back to the motel. Since they are Savita’s friends, I left it to her to decide. Savita seemed tired and I felt she probably wanted to go home but couldn’t say no. When we reached the motel, Savita sat down on the couch and Anka immediately sat down next to her and so I had to sit on the bed.
Meera said “Four gay girls together. Now what can we do?” She then opened a bottle of wine and took out four glasses and started to pour a drink into each, She passed one to Savita and the next to Anka but when she gave me, she slipped and the wine spilt out all over me and my top (white of course). The wine was (of course) red and I rushed to the bathroom to wash it out immediately. Meera “helped” me but effectively just stood by me, apologising. as I soaked and rubbed the stain. Meera said “Oh some went on your bra” and without consulting, unhooked my bra, took it off and put it in the washbasin. I rinsed the top and bra.
By the time we got back to the room, Anka was talking to Savita but her hand was on Savita’s leg, clearly exploring and Anka was pressing close to her. Savita caught my eyes as I walked into the room bare boobed and I gave her a reluctant smile of encouragement which resulted in her submitting more to Anka’s attentions. Actually I did not like seeing Anka fondling my lover at all but Meera said “Well, those two are enjoying themselves – are you jealous? Maybe we should make them jealous back” and she pulled me to her and started kissing me on my mouth, pushing her tongue into my mouth.
By this time Anka was kissing Savita and I couldn’t catch my lover’s eyes to see what she was thinking. Meera moved down to my tits which she started to kiss and suck upon. At the same time she was removing my jeans. Soon they were off and Meera had stripped down to only a bra and panties. I felt Meera’s hand push under my panties and explore my pussy, stimulating my clit before pushing into my hole and finger fucking me.
My body was responding and I was a bit wet but somehow I still wished that I wasn’t there – my heart wasn’t in it. I looked over to Savita – by this stage her panties were off and Anka was eating her out. She was very passive and did not seem at all turned on. She gave me a reassuring smile as if to say “go with the flow”.
Meera and I were on the bed by now. I moved around and started on her pussy. It was wet and she seemed to enjoy my licking and I worked on her pussy using tongue and fingers until she came. Then she said to Anka and Savita “Hey, you two, there’s room on the bed – don’t be shy.” Anka came over leading Savita with her and then Meera suggested we swap partners and she started playing with Savita while Anka licked my pussy. Anka was enthusiastic but clearly not that experienced and, to be honest, I wasn’t much turned on. When we changed and I was licking Anka, I could tell she was very turned on – she was moaning as my tongue flicked her clit and I gently stimulated her.
Anka was writhing with excitement – I guess my years of experience make it easy for me to know how to push another girl’s buttons even when my eyes were mainly on Savita who was now busy kissing Meera – I was quite jealous. Savita then moved into position and licked Meera and they pleasured each other. It seemed to me that Savita was quite remote throughout.
We continued for a while until both Meera and Anka seemed to be satisfied. Savita said she had cum so much and I pretended that I had also. Savita said that she had to go home because she had to work the next day but she said that I didn’t need to drive her and she could take a taxi if I wanted to stay – Savita cannot drive. I said I had t take my daughter out tomorrow morning early and so made my apologies.
We thanked Meera and Anka for a great evening and then left – it was a nuisance because my bra and top were still wet and quite uncomfortable but I had to wear them. It was about a 30 minute drive from the motel to our home. At first Savita was quiet and the she said, rather testily, “I’m sorry, Grace, that the sex wasn’t up to your standard – Meera and Anka don’t get much chance to do it. This was a very special occasion for them.”
“Savita, why do you think I was criticising?”
“You looked so uninvolved - you wouldn’t understand. Tell me: what were you really thinking?”
“I felt a sense of desperation. I think the two of them are not that much in love – but they want to be,. Meera acts brashly but I was the whole time trying to avoid doing anything to dent her surface because I reckon she could crumble at a single blow. As for Anka, she seems so scared that she’ll be found out and made to look silly – no confidence at all. It all seemed so desperate and sad but I wanted them so much to enjoy and feel better about themselves.”
Savita looked at me and said “Sometimes, Grace, you really surprise me – you saw it as well as me and did understood – I am sorry my darling, I really misjudged you – I’m so sorry– what you say is dead on. I thought you were being just obliging with them but when you say that, I see that you were busy trying to cover up their inexperience.. Darling, if I could love you any more I would.”
“I’m not just a pretty face you know Savita.” I joked.
“But you are a very pretty face my darling and sometimes I can’t read that face – and so sexy!”
“Not half as sexy as my darling Savita!”
I couldn’t hold off and I pulled into a dark carpark and pulled Savita to me and we kissed passionately as we caressed. Savita whispered into my ear, “Darling when we get home, I’m going to fuck my little Chinese girl so hard!“
“I thought you were tired.”
“Not for you, my hot little girl”
I drove the rest of the way home and we rushed upstairs and were quickly into our room where we quickly stripped and were over each other making frantic and passionate love. I felt so much from Savita’s touch and kisses as she explored my body and she seemed fully satisfied as I tasted and enjoyed her pussy as well as the rest of her beautiful body. It was not what we did as much as the passion with which we did it that drove us to glorious climaxes.
As we lay beside other, with that bitter-sweet after feeling, I commented to Savita “I can’t help feeling sorry for Meera and Anka – so sweet and yet, so sad, so lonely, desperately looking for love but unable to speak their desires.”
“I’ve been there”. Savita replied sadly.
“Never again, my darling”, I pledged pulling her to me as we nestled together.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Transitioning
I wrote essentially this blog piece a bit back but lost it when I pulled out my USB card at the wrong time and so I am rewriting it.
Savita and I have now been living together for some time and our lives are melding closer together. But, as with any relationships, changes are inevitable and I am finding that my relationships are changing.
I have lost some good friends, hopefully not totally but at the moment they are more distant: Wei was quite angry that I chose Savita instead of her. My client F and I argued – it seems he really wanted me to stay with John – I think there is a good degree of identification by him with John and he felt rejection but that really is not my problem – I’m sorry to see F. go but it’s up to him. The hunk seems annoyed that I chose Savita in preference to his sister Sylvie.
On the other hand, Sylvie and her lover Chantelle have been welcoming and Savita and I have already had dinner with them. They seem very happy together. Sue has been surprising supportive – I feared she would not forgive me dropping John. As I have already mentioned, Lisa is justifiably mistrustful of me – I need to earn back her friendship – but this is due to my own issues and she encourages Savita a lot.
It is already a couple of weeks that John and my sister have been fucking. She is still glowing and so far it looks good but I want to be careful not to make any judgements – whatever I say will be unhelpful. I am getting used to it and accepting that John now has different priorities. I have not talked to him about anything other than our daughter – a subject that remains key to both of us.
My daughter seems to have taken the whole thing totally in stride and accepts that Auntie Lucy is sleeping with her favourite person, daddy, and Auntie Savita and I sleep in the other room. Fortunately, through careful guidance from John, my daughter has learnt not to discuss these matters at school. I think my daughter is enjoying all the attention – one thing I appreciate is that John is very firm in maintaining my position as her mother – one time she said “mummy” to my sister and John immediately and firmly corrected “Auntie”.
But the most important transition in terms of our relationship is between Savita and me. Savita is not used to sharing a bed and I think she found it hard to get used to coming against my body when she moved. I sleep nude or at most wearing panties but Savita is not used to this and still wears a nightie. The last week I have found Savita is more comfortable and at ease.
Our love making has also developed as we learn more about each other. I find Savita is quite shy at times to express her wishes and I am learning to encourage her confidence. Last week she got me to listen to a podcast called “Mia on Top” or something in which the narrator’s girlfriend wants to see her being fucked – although from what I can tell it doesn’t happen. I asked Savita why she wanted me to listen and she was a bit evasive until I asked her directly if she wanted to see me being fucked by a man and she admitted she was curious and a bit turned on by this. I asked her if she wanted to join and she was adamant that she didn’t want to have sex with a man ever but said that she found my sexuality exciting and was curious. I think I’ll leave that for the moment since it sounds like fantasy and I think the reality might be less appealing to her.
Savita and I are also just enjoying our time together getting to know each other. It is not just the fucking which is still great, it’s being together. We went for a walk in the Botanic Gardens the other week and suddenly we just stopped and kissed passionately. People were staring at us but I was so proud to be showing that I was the girlfriend of my beautiful lover.
I am delighted how we seem to be growing together but I know we still need to complete the transition from fuck mates to life partners – I hope we can make this transition and I hope we can remain fuck mates as well – I hear of many lesbian couples who lose their sexual side – I do not want to do that. In the meantime, I am enjoying the transition and the intense feelings involved.
Savita and I have now been living together for some time and our lives are melding closer together. But, as with any relationships, changes are inevitable and I am finding that my relationships are changing.
I have lost some good friends, hopefully not totally but at the moment they are more distant: Wei was quite angry that I chose Savita instead of her. My client F and I argued – it seems he really wanted me to stay with John – I think there is a good degree of identification by him with John and he felt rejection but that really is not my problem – I’m sorry to see F. go but it’s up to him. The hunk seems annoyed that I chose Savita in preference to his sister Sylvie.
On the other hand, Sylvie and her lover Chantelle have been welcoming and Savita and I have already had dinner with them. They seem very happy together. Sue has been surprising supportive – I feared she would not forgive me dropping John. As I have already mentioned, Lisa is justifiably mistrustful of me – I need to earn back her friendship – but this is due to my own issues and she encourages Savita a lot.
It is already a couple of weeks that John and my sister have been fucking. She is still glowing and so far it looks good but I want to be careful not to make any judgements – whatever I say will be unhelpful. I am getting used to it and accepting that John now has different priorities. I have not talked to him about anything other than our daughter – a subject that remains key to both of us.
My daughter seems to have taken the whole thing totally in stride and accepts that Auntie Lucy is sleeping with her favourite person, daddy, and Auntie Savita and I sleep in the other room. Fortunately, through careful guidance from John, my daughter has learnt not to discuss these matters at school. I think my daughter is enjoying all the attention – one thing I appreciate is that John is very firm in maintaining my position as her mother – one time she said “mummy” to my sister and John immediately and firmly corrected “Auntie”.
But the most important transition in terms of our relationship is between Savita and me. Savita is not used to sharing a bed and I think she found it hard to get used to coming against my body when she moved. I sleep nude or at most wearing panties but Savita is not used to this and still wears a nightie. The last week I have found Savita is more comfortable and at ease.
Our love making has also developed as we learn more about each other. I find Savita is quite shy at times to express her wishes and I am learning to encourage her confidence. Last week she got me to listen to a podcast called “Mia on Top” or something in which the narrator’s girlfriend wants to see her being fucked – although from what I can tell it doesn’t happen. I asked Savita why she wanted me to listen and she was a bit evasive until I asked her directly if she wanted to see me being fucked by a man and she admitted she was curious and a bit turned on by this. I asked her if she wanted to join and she was adamant that she didn’t want to have sex with a man ever but said that she found my sexuality exciting and was curious. I think I’ll leave that for the moment since it sounds like fantasy and I think the reality might be less appealing to her.
Savita and I are also just enjoying our time together getting to know each other. It is not just the fucking which is still great, it’s being together. We went for a walk in the Botanic Gardens the other week and suddenly we just stopped and kissed passionately. People were staring at us but I was so proud to be showing that I was the girlfriend of my beautiful lover.
I am delighted how we seem to be growing together but I know we still need to complete the transition from fuck mates to life partners – I hope we can make this transition and I hope we can remain fuck mates as well – I hear of many lesbian couples who lose their sexual side – I do not want to do that. In the meantime, I am enjoying the transition and the intense feelings involved.
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Savita’s Party
Savita had her pre-Christmas office party last week for her department. People could bring partners. Traditionally she has gone alone. This year, her boss said to her a week or so before the party “I’m thinking there is someone special in your life – are you thinking of asking your friend?”
“I’m surprised you have heard such a thing – who could have told you? I haven’t said anything – I would like to invite my partner but she …”.
Her boss, Tim, picked up immediately and did not seem particularly surprised. He said “I understand – no-one has told me you had a partner – I just saw you seem more full of life and happier and seemed finally to have a life outside of work. I was so pleased. You are welcome to invite her – genuinely welcome on my part. I think we are a good team and we will most happily make your partner feel very welcome. You are a very important member of this team and I want to stress that you should feel free to bring anyone you want along. But you decide – I am not telling you what to do –I just want you to do what you want.”
He then asked about me: where we met (a party), was I Indian (no), what job I did (Savita hesitated before saying student) and was very friendly and matter-of-fact about the whole thing as if Savita having a girlfriend was the most natural thing on earth.
Savita asked me that evening if I could please go. I hesitated since I was worried about how a girlfriend would be received and whether it could make trouble for Savita. However, she was insistent and I was actually delighted that she wanted to include me so much in her life and flattered that when she said that she wanted to show me off.
And, of course, it gave me a great excuse to go clothes shopping for a nice dress to wear. Savita and I went out one lunchtime and chose it. – a nice white dress – simple but elegant, I think. Savita said it suited me and made me look both “incredibly sexy and desirable while also respectable for a party”. The dress did feel just right. . And of course I had to buy matching shoes. I also had to have my hair styled. So I was really enjoying the preparations.
It took us both ages to get dressed for the party and we were the last to arrive. We were both nervous when we arrived - Savita was particularly tense – I could tell from the tightness in her hand as she held mine. When we walked in, suddenly the room fell quiet which was very disconcerting – there were about 30 people there. I think they were surprised to see Savita had a girlfriend – Tim had obviously been very discreet!
A man came up to us and said “So delighted you’ve come. I’m Tim. And this is my wife Amanda. I guess you are Grace”, he added smiling at me. “Savita didn’t warn me how good-looking you are.” Amanda was equally welcoming – it was clear that Tim had forewarned her and she chatted to us about casual things such as how warm it was and she complimented our dresses and we discussed good clothes shops.
The other conversations had restarted quite quickly and when Amanda excused herself to go to talk to someone else, we eased in to the room. Savita stated chatting with a quite short voluble woman. I stood back a little, uncertain as to whether to join in or not.
A man standing there, turned me and said “Always hard for partners at these things – we know no-one.”
I I nodded perhaps too emphatically and he said, “Maybe, even harder for you?” and then immediately apologised “Sorry, very tactless.”
I smiled and said “More perceptive than tactless.”
“I’m Jack by the way – Sara’s husband – she’s the one talking to Savita. I’ve got to congratulate you. I’ve met Savita a few times before and she’s never seemed so happy. Sara commented she thought Savita had found a girlfriend.”
“So, her colleagues know Savita likes girls?” I asked surprised and curious.
“Most don’t I think but Sara sits next to her and heard her talking earnestly to some woman – she couldn’t hear much but it sounded like a lover. Also Sara’s always trying to match make and she commented that Savita had no interest in guys and seemed more interested in a cute Chinese girl who worked there.”
“Which Chinese girl?” I asked suspiciously.
“Oh! She’s happily married and on maternity leave now –you don’t need to be jealous.” Jack laughed.
Savita grabbed my arm and said “I have to introduce you to Sara”.
After the introductions, Sara greeted me very warmly and said “Grace, you’ve really changed Savita – I even saw her smile the other day!” She then proceeded to tease Savita for being so serious.
She told me that she was so happy to meet me. I saw a guy glowering at me – he quickly looked away when I met his eyes. “Not everyone’s happy”, I remarked. Savita and Sarah looked in the direction I was looking and Sara said “Oh Jim – he will be unhappy –he’s a fanatic Christian – always wanting to hold prayer meetings and complaining about the corrupt modern world. He considers Harry Potter as evil! Don’t mind him.”
“Maybe, I shouldn’t have come”, I said but Sarah and Jack both insisted that it was wonderful to see me.
At the same time, I noticed the grimfaced woman who had been talking to Jim and whom I had guessed to be his wife had started to walk deliberately up to me. Jim appeared to be trying to stop her but she ignored him. She strode purposefully to me and said loudly “You are an immoral woman. People like you are disgusting. You should not be allowed into polite God-loving company. You offend decent people, you brazen Jezebel. Go back to the hole from where you crawled.”
Again the conversation had stopped around the room and I felt exceedingly uncomfortable. I did not want to disgrace Savita and so I was as polite as possible, replying “I’m sorry to hear that you disapprove of me and I will leave you alone but I am proud to be here as Savita’s partner.”
Some man – I’m not sure who - said loudly “Thank you, Grace – it’s nice to see there are still some people who can behave properly!” There was an affirming murmur and I felt that the majority were positive towards Savita and me, especially after Jim’s wife’s foray. The woman made a contemptuous sound and strode away as Amanda rushed up, and said very clearly “Grace, I am so ashamed – no-one should be spoken to like that. The rest of us are so glad to meet you - you probably want to walk out after being addressed like that but please stay.” I hadn’t even thought of walking out – how embarrassing that would have been for Savita!
I noticed that Tim was talking anxiously and trying to comfort Savita who was more upset than me and was almost in tears. I moved up to her and she smiled, saying “Thank you, darling – you were marvellous” and kissing me on the cheek. (I wasn’t but I’m glad Savita thinks so.) Tim tactfully withdrew and I squeezed her hand and whispered to her “Don’t let the bastards get to you!” Savita nodded and put on her face of self control.
After we calmed down, the rest of the evening went very smoothly. Most of the people at the party were very friendly to us and seemed to focus on treating us as just another couple. Jim and his wife stayed to the side and we did not have any more contact.
The only point that I thought things might get tricky was when an Indian guy, mid-twenties, came up to me while Savita was getting drinks and said “I’ve got a bone to pick with you.”
“Yes?” I said cautiously.
“Here I was fascinated with this beautiful co-worker and you stole her from under my eyes”, he said smiling at the same time. “Mind you, I can see what she sees in you – such a beautiful couple”, he continued. “My name’s Raj by the way.” We shook hands and he moved on. Sara who was standing next to me said “that’s sweet. He really was keen on Savita – I had to hose him down a few times when he got too eager.”
By the end of the evening, Savita and I were almost at ease. When I stood there with Savita holding me close, showing me off to her colleagues, I felt really proud that this beautiful woman would give me such a special position.
Later, Savita thanked me saying it must have been hard to face all these strangers. I commented that it was a lot easier for me than for her – after all I didn’t have to face them the following day and to work with them. I could be just proud to be Savita’s girl and enjoy the evening with my darling. The only hard part was that I was nervous about embarrassing Savita. She assured me that I didn’t.
I couldn’t let Savita off Scot free and I grilled Savita on the Chinese girl that Jack mentioned. Savita said that this was when we were not together and she was missing me so much. The girl looked something like me and Savita did feel attracted – but the girl was a devout Christian and used to have – prayer meetings with Jim at lunchtime. Savita said she didn’t think that she would have received a good response if she suggested a lesbian affair!
Jim wrote me a formal apology for the way his wife had spoken. He also apologised publicly to Savita, saying that even if he did not condone same sex relationships, the wording and manner of what was said was totally inappropriate. We had every right to be offended and he was embarrassed that our enjoyment of the evening may have been affected.
Savita said that she accepted the apology but was glad that Jim sits at a distance from her and they worked on different projects.
I’m really delighted I could go to the party with Savita and Savita says she is happy that she can be open about us at work but just hope that she does not have any negative consequences for her work. I do worry that petty people may give her a hard time.
“I’m surprised you have heard such a thing – who could have told you? I haven’t said anything – I would like to invite my partner but she …”.
Her boss, Tim, picked up immediately and did not seem particularly surprised. He said “I understand – no-one has told me you had a partner – I just saw you seem more full of life and happier and seemed finally to have a life outside of work. I was so pleased. You are welcome to invite her – genuinely welcome on my part. I think we are a good team and we will most happily make your partner feel very welcome. You are a very important member of this team and I want to stress that you should feel free to bring anyone you want along. But you decide – I am not telling you what to do –I just want you to do what you want.”
He then asked about me: where we met (a party), was I Indian (no), what job I did (Savita hesitated before saying student) and was very friendly and matter-of-fact about the whole thing as if Savita having a girlfriend was the most natural thing on earth.
Savita asked me that evening if I could please go. I hesitated since I was worried about how a girlfriend would be received and whether it could make trouble for Savita. However, she was insistent and I was actually delighted that she wanted to include me so much in her life and flattered that when she said that she wanted to show me off.
And, of course, it gave me a great excuse to go clothes shopping for a nice dress to wear. Savita and I went out one lunchtime and chose it. – a nice white dress – simple but elegant, I think. Savita said it suited me and made me look both “incredibly sexy and desirable while also respectable for a party”. The dress did feel just right. . And of course I had to buy matching shoes. I also had to have my hair styled. So I was really enjoying the preparations.
It took us both ages to get dressed for the party and we were the last to arrive. We were both nervous when we arrived - Savita was particularly tense – I could tell from the tightness in her hand as she held mine. When we walked in, suddenly the room fell quiet which was very disconcerting – there were about 30 people there. I think they were surprised to see Savita had a girlfriend – Tim had obviously been very discreet!
A man came up to us and said “So delighted you’ve come. I’m Tim. And this is my wife Amanda. I guess you are Grace”, he added smiling at me. “Savita didn’t warn me how good-looking you are.” Amanda was equally welcoming – it was clear that Tim had forewarned her and she chatted to us about casual things such as how warm it was and she complimented our dresses and we discussed good clothes shops.
The other conversations had restarted quite quickly and when Amanda excused herself to go to talk to someone else, we eased in to the room. Savita stated chatting with a quite short voluble woman. I stood back a little, uncertain as to whether to join in or not.
A man standing there, turned me and said “Always hard for partners at these things – we know no-one.”
I I nodded perhaps too emphatically and he said, “Maybe, even harder for you?” and then immediately apologised “Sorry, very tactless.”
I smiled and said “More perceptive than tactless.”
“I’m Jack by the way – Sara’s husband – she’s the one talking to Savita. I’ve got to congratulate you. I’ve met Savita a few times before and she’s never seemed so happy. Sara commented she thought Savita had found a girlfriend.”
“So, her colleagues know Savita likes girls?” I asked surprised and curious.
“Most don’t I think but Sara sits next to her and heard her talking earnestly to some woman – she couldn’t hear much but it sounded like a lover. Also Sara’s always trying to match make and she commented that Savita had no interest in guys and seemed more interested in a cute Chinese girl who worked there.”
“Which Chinese girl?” I asked suspiciously.
“Oh! She’s happily married and on maternity leave now –you don’t need to be jealous.” Jack laughed.
Savita grabbed my arm and said “I have to introduce you to Sara”.
After the introductions, Sara greeted me very warmly and said “Grace, you’ve really changed Savita – I even saw her smile the other day!” She then proceeded to tease Savita for being so serious.
She told me that she was so happy to meet me. I saw a guy glowering at me – he quickly looked away when I met his eyes. “Not everyone’s happy”, I remarked. Savita and Sarah looked in the direction I was looking and Sara said “Oh Jim – he will be unhappy –he’s a fanatic Christian – always wanting to hold prayer meetings and complaining about the corrupt modern world. He considers Harry Potter as evil! Don’t mind him.”
“Maybe, I shouldn’t have come”, I said but Sarah and Jack both insisted that it was wonderful to see me.
At the same time, I noticed the grimfaced woman who had been talking to Jim and whom I had guessed to be his wife had started to walk deliberately up to me. Jim appeared to be trying to stop her but she ignored him. She strode purposefully to me and said loudly “You are an immoral woman. People like you are disgusting. You should not be allowed into polite God-loving company. You offend decent people, you brazen Jezebel. Go back to the hole from where you crawled.”
Again the conversation had stopped around the room and I felt exceedingly uncomfortable. I did not want to disgrace Savita and so I was as polite as possible, replying “I’m sorry to hear that you disapprove of me and I will leave you alone but I am proud to be here as Savita’s partner.”
Some man – I’m not sure who - said loudly “Thank you, Grace – it’s nice to see there are still some people who can behave properly!” There was an affirming murmur and I felt that the majority were positive towards Savita and me, especially after Jim’s wife’s foray. The woman made a contemptuous sound and strode away as Amanda rushed up, and said very clearly “Grace, I am so ashamed – no-one should be spoken to like that. The rest of us are so glad to meet you - you probably want to walk out after being addressed like that but please stay.” I hadn’t even thought of walking out – how embarrassing that would have been for Savita!
I noticed that Tim was talking anxiously and trying to comfort Savita who was more upset than me and was almost in tears. I moved up to her and she smiled, saying “Thank you, darling – you were marvellous” and kissing me on the cheek. (I wasn’t but I’m glad Savita thinks so.) Tim tactfully withdrew and I squeezed her hand and whispered to her “Don’t let the bastards get to you!” Savita nodded and put on her face of self control.
After we calmed down, the rest of the evening went very smoothly. Most of the people at the party were very friendly to us and seemed to focus on treating us as just another couple. Jim and his wife stayed to the side and we did not have any more contact.
The only point that I thought things might get tricky was when an Indian guy, mid-twenties, came up to me while Savita was getting drinks and said “I’ve got a bone to pick with you.”
“Yes?” I said cautiously.
“Here I was fascinated with this beautiful co-worker and you stole her from under my eyes”, he said smiling at the same time. “Mind you, I can see what she sees in you – such a beautiful couple”, he continued. “My name’s Raj by the way.” We shook hands and he moved on. Sara who was standing next to me said “that’s sweet. He really was keen on Savita – I had to hose him down a few times when he got too eager.”
By the end of the evening, Savita and I were almost at ease. When I stood there with Savita holding me close, showing me off to her colleagues, I felt really proud that this beautiful woman would give me such a special position.
Later, Savita thanked me saying it must have been hard to face all these strangers. I commented that it was a lot easier for me than for her – after all I didn’t have to face them the following day and to work with them. I could be just proud to be Savita’s girl and enjoy the evening with my darling. The only hard part was that I was nervous about embarrassing Savita. She assured me that I didn’t.
I couldn’t let Savita off Scot free and I grilled Savita on the Chinese girl that Jack mentioned. Savita said that this was when we were not together and she was missing me so much. The girl looked something like me and Savita did feel attracted – but the girl was a devout Christian and used to have – prayer meetings with Jim at lunchtime. Savita said she didn’t think that she would have received a good response if she suggested a lesbian affair!
Jim wrote me a formal apology for the way his wife had spoken. He also apologised publicly to Savita, saying that even if he did not condone same sex relationships, the wording and manner of what was said was totally inappropriate. We had every right to be offended and he was embarrassed that our enjoyment of the evening may have been affected.
Savita said that she accepted the apology but was glad that Jim sits at a distance from her and they worked on different projects.
I’m really delighted I could go to the party with Savita and Savita says she is happy that she can be open about us at work but just hope that she does not have any negative consequences for her work. I do worry that petty people may give her a hard time.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Two Items
I wrote the blogs “It Had to Happen” and “Coming to Terms”, one after the other last week and have not had a chance to publish them up to now. So I am loading them up. Savita is calling to me to hurry up and come to bed – how can I resist but want to publish now – suggest to read “It had to Happen” first.
Coming to Terms
Whatever my feelings may be, it is a fact: John and my sister are fucking together. She tells me she loves him even more deeply and certainly there is a glow about her. John seems uncomfortable with me. I think he feels embarrassed about the whole thing - but why should he be?
My sister says the only problem is that John is convinced he is not good enough for her – he is in his words “too old, too fat and too dirty-minded”. He omits that he is the most gentle, warm and understanding man around. He is a great lover and has a marvellous ability to make me (and my sister) laugh. I almost wonder if my sister is good enough for him – but she probably is (just).
When I got up the day after their first coupling, just my sister was at home. Sue and Lisa were dropping my daughter off to school directly and John and Savita were already off to work.
My sister was clearly looking to boast – I was not particularly keen to listen but had no choice short of running out of the flat. She wanted to tell me everything. (I later found out that Savita, Sue and Lisa all heard the story also- although perhaps not as graphically – I am surprised she didn’t try to publish it in the newspaper! She was just so happy about it.)
She said that John was very surprised to find that everyone was out when he came home. She said he asked why and she told him because she thought it was time for her and him to see where the two of them were going. John said that she shouldn’t want to go anywhere with him – he was too old etc. She said to him that it wasn’t his role to decide what she wanted – she was 22 years old and she knew what she wanted – and Lisa had let the cat out of the bag on what that was.
All he had to decide was whether he could stomach going to bed with her.
He laughed and asked her “Are you seriously suggesting I have something to stomach in going to bed with a beautiful young girl – do you think I am gay or something? I am only worried about the consequences.”
She said that she thought she was not sexy enough for him and he said that he wished that were the problem – the trouble is that she was too sexy for an old man like him – she needed someone better and should start with a man who had more to offer.
My sister had prepared a special dinner and to break the debate, she asked him to sit down and eat. They sat and tried to talk – but my sister said it was hard to say who was the more awkward.
Before desert my sister realised that this was getting nowhere and so when John stood up to take the dishes to the kitchen, she got up and moved up to him, put her arms around him and said “Now, you have to choose – you can always say ‘no’” and moved her mouth to his and kissed him. She said John didn’t pull back at all but rather he accepted it and soon they were in an embrace.
Then she started to unbutton his shirt but still she found he was not taking any initiative and as much to her own surprise as John’s in her impatience she blurted out “John. Do you want to fuck me or not? I’m horny as hell – I’ve been watching videos all day just to get it right for you and you’ don’t want to fuck me – am I that unsexy,”
(Apparently, she had got a couple of porn movies from Sue to see better what men liked – she was determined to do as much as possible to please John.)
My sister said that to her delight John then took her in his arms and kissed her and held her tight, touching more sensually than she had ever been before giving her no doubt that he would act but then he said “I had better find protection for later” and she said – “You don’t need it – I’m clean.” “But how do you know I am”, John replied. “John. I know it’s not clever but I want the first time to be natural – I know the risks – and I won’t get pregnant today – so that’s not a risk.” She thought John was going to argue but she thinks the passion with which she said it made him reluctant to oppose her. Also she said she could feel the trace of his hardness as their bodies pressed together.
Almost naturally, her hand moved to his crotch and started to stroke through his pants. She felt the response. She had wore a dress with a zip at the back and apart from that only her panties and bra – “I wanted to make it as easy for him to get there as possible” she said. I laughed and said that a few obstacles would not have deterred him. John had unzipped the dress and it slid to the ground as they edged to the bedroom
Gradually they got to the bedroom and even more gradually the buttons on John’s shirt were undone – my sister said she was so nervous and she had never undone a man’s shirt before – especially while embracing him. In the bedroom, she started on the belt and got his pants down.
My sister had got a good briefing from Lisa about things: John gets hard fast the first time and can come quite quickly – the second time he gets hard and stays hard a long time. I know this well but Lisa learnt it when she was trying to get pregnant. Lisa advised to get him cum the first time and the let him fuck her on the second go – so that it could be a more long-lasting experience. My sister discussed it further and she thought it would be a good idea to give him a blow job first and they talked about cumming in the mouth. My sister decided that it would be best if she tried to swallow even though Lisa gave warnings about how it tasted and how it grossed many girls out but as soon as my sister heard John liked it, she was determined to do it.
So in the bedroom, she guided John to the side of the bed and pulling his pants down. Then she immediately knelt before and starting sucking his cock. John said “Are you sure?” uncertainly. She stopped sucking just long enough to say “John, maybe I’ve never done this before but I’ve seen enough videos to know what to do and I want to do this.”
She told me that all she did was just move her mouth back on his cock and she thought she rushed it and gave no variety but John did not complain and was very hard. She said he said that he was about to cum and tried to pull out of her mouth but she wouldn’t let him and so he came in her mouth. She said it was not nearly as bad as Lisa suggested and although there was a lot of cum and she couldn’t swallow it all, she was dribbling – I think John would have found that particularly sexy.
She immediately thanked John – and he said “Why are you thanking me? I got all the pleasure!” “No, John, you don’t know how special this was to me: a chance to please the man I love. I feel more complete but John, I have a favour to ask – can you fuck me later?”
John was absolutely bemused: “Lucy, what are you saying? Why ask me – I want so much to have sex with you. Can’t you tell? So why do you need to ask?”
“Because if I don’t, you won’t do it – you’re still trying to protect me.”
My sister said she was probably hurrying John but she was so impatient. She got him to lie on his back on the bed and then she moved over him her face over his cock and her legs straddling him over his face. She started again licking his cock tasting the traces of cum.
John was still hesitating and so she said “You can touch you know - if I am not too ugly”. At that John immediately pulled at her panties and exposed her pussy and touched her gently with his finger.
My sister said the touch was electric – she was astonished – she said she had not really thought of her physical response – her target was to build intimacy with John and she hadn’t even thought of her body’s feelings.
Her panties were quickly off and John’s tongue was soon exploring her – she told me her first thought was had she washed properly. But soon she said she was just overtaken by the excitement and pleasure and she was giving way to pleasure. Then she decided it was time and she pulled away from his tongue and placed her pussy over him and with his help to guide she sat down on his cock. It slid in deep – she said she felt a brief moment of resistance and a moment of pain before he was fully in but she was so wet and excited that it passed immediately.
She told me that she then did something that when she told me surprised me – it apparently also surprised John very much at the time – she told John to take her camera/phone from the bedside table where she had strategically placed it – and asked him to photo her with his cock inside – she wanted to remember her first time. John obeyed and photographed her as she rode him.
She said she was getting off on it so much now that she couldn’t stop climaxing and then she lost control and it became a blur of pleasure until she realised that John had also cum and her pussy was full of his cum. She asked him to photo her again – he hesitated but she told him “I realise that fucking me is nothing special but I want these photos to remember this moment which is incredibly special to me.” John then obeyed but also said she under-rated how special it was for him.
She had also got him topo photo her sucking him and she wanted to show me the photos that she had already downloaded to her PC – I am impressed with her technological skill – I still can’t do that and John had to do all our photos from Japan and China. However in this case, I definitely did not want to see the photos and made that very clear. There is a thing as “too much information”!
I asked her why she wanted me to see and she replied “Because my big sister, I want you to really understand that I am fucking John – I am absolutely serious about him – I want him even more and I want to force your head around the fact.”
“Believe me, I know this – I do not need to see photos to tell me."
And I do know it and I have to accept that John is already started on the process of moving on. As for my sister and John – how will it go? I don’t have a clue but pray that no one gets hurt and better still, they find happiness.
My sister says the only problem is that John is convinced he is not good enough for her – he is in his words “too old, too fat and too dirty-minded”. He omits that he is the most gentle, warm and understanding man around. He is a great lover and has a marvellous ability to make me (and my sister) laugh. I almost wonder if my sister is good enough for him – but she probably is (just).
When I got up the day after their first coupling, just my sister was at home. Sue and Lisa were dropping my daughter off to school directly and John and Savita were already off to work.
My sister was clearly looking to boast – I was not particularly keen to listen but had no choice short of running out of the flat. She wanted to tell me everything. (I later found out that Savita, Sue and Lisa all heard the story also- although perhaps not as graphically – I am surprised she didn’t try to publish it in the newspaper! She was just so happy about it.)
She said that John was very surprised to find that everyone was out when he came home. She said he asked why and she told him because she thought it was time for her and him to see where the two of them were going. John said that she shouldn’t want to go anywhere with him – he was too old etc. She said to him that it wasn’t his role to decide what she wanted – she was 22 years old and she knew what she wanted – and Lisa had let the cat out of the bag on what that was.
All he had to decide was whether he could stomach going to bed with her.
He laughed and asked her “Are you seriously suggesting I have something to stomach in going to bed with a beautiful young girl – do you think I am gay or something? I am only worried about the consequences.”
She said that she thought she was not sexy enough for him and he said that he wished that were the problem – the trouble is that she was too sexy for an old man like him – she needed someone better and should start with a man who had more to offer.
My sister had prepared a special dinner and to break the debate, she asked him to sit down and eat. They sat and tried to talk – but my sister said it was hard to say who was the more awkward.
Before desert my sister realised that this was getting nowhere and so when John stood up to take the dishes to the kitchen, she got up and moved up to him, put her arms around him and said “Now, you have to choose – you can always say ‘no’” and moved her mouth to his and kissed him. She said John didn’t pull back at all but rather he accepted it and soon they were in an embrace.
Then she started to unbutton his shirt but still she found he was not taking any initiative and as much to her own surprise as John’s in her impatience she blurted out “John. Do you want to fuck me or not? I’m horny as hell – I’ve been watching videos all day just to get it right for you and you’ don’t want to fuck me – am I that unsexy,”
(Apparently, she had got a couple of porn movies from Sue to see better what men liked – she was determined to do as much as possible to please John.)
My sister said that to her delight John then took her in his arms and kissed her and held her tight, touching more sensually than she had ever been before giving her no doubt that he would act but then he said “I had better find protection for later” and she said – “You don’t need it – I’m clean.” “But how do you know I am”, John replied. “John. I know it’s not clever but I want the first time to be natural – I know the risks – and I won’t get pregnant today – so that’s not a risk.” She thought John was going to argue but she thinks the passion with which she said it made him reluctant to oppose her. Also she said she could feel the trace of his hardness as their bodies pressed together.
Almost naturally, her hand moved to his crotch and started to stroke through his pants. She felt the response. She had wore a dress with a zip at the back and apart from that only her panties and bra – “I wanted to make it as easy for him to get there as possible” she said. I laughed and said that a few obstacles would not have deterred him. John had unzipped the dress and it slid to the ground as they edged to the bedroom
Gradually they got to the bedroom and even more gradually the buttons on John’s shirt were undone – my sister said she was so nervous and she had never undone a man’s shirt before – especially while embracing him. In the bedroom, she started on the belt and got his pants down.
My sister had got a good briefing from Lisa about things: John gets hard fast the first time and can come quite quickly – the second time he gets hard and stays hard a long time. I know this well but Lisa learnt it when she was trying to get pregnant. Lisa advised to get him cum the first time and the let him fuck her on the second go – so that it could be a more long-lasting experience. My sister discussed it further and she thought it would be a good idea to give him a blow job first and they talked about cumming in the mouth. My sister decided that it would be best if she tried to swallow even though Lisa gave warnings about how it tasted and how it grossed many girls out but as soon as my sister heard John liked it, she was determined to do it.
So in the bedroom, she guided John to the side of the bed and pulling his pants down. Then she immediately knelt before and starting sucking his cock. John said “Are you sure?” uncertainly. She stopped sucking just long enough to say “John, maybe I’ve never done this before but I’ve seen enough videos to know what to do and I want to do this.”
She told me that all she did was just move her mouth back on his cock and she thought she rushed it and gave no variety but John did not complain and was very hard. She said he said that he was about to cum and tried to pull out of her mouth but she wouldn’t let him and so he came in her mouth. She said it was not nearly as bad as Lisa suggested and although there was a lot of cum and she couldn’t swallow it all, she was dribbling – I think John would have found that particularly sexy.
She immediately thanked John – and he said “Why are you thanking me? I got all the pleasure!” “No, John, you don’t know how special this was to me: a chance to please the man I love. I feel more complete but John, I have a favour to ask – can you fuck me later?”
John was absolutely bemused: “Lucy, what are you saying? Why ask me – I want so much to have sex with you. Can’t you tell? So why do you need to ask?”
“Because if I don’t, you won’t do it – you’re still trying to protect me.”
My sister said she was probably hurrying John but she was so impatient. She got him to lie on his back on the bed and then she moved over him her face over his cock and her legs straddling him over his face. She started again licking his cock tasting the traces of cum.
John was still hesitating and so she said “You can touch you know - if I am not too ugly”. At that John immediately pulled at her panties and exposed her pussy and touched her gently with his finger.
My sister said the touch was electric – she was astonished – she said she had not really thought of her physical response – her target was to build intimacy with John and she hadn’t even thought of her body’s feelings.
Her panties were quickly off and John’s tongue was soon exploring her – she told me her first thought was had she washed properly. But soon she said she was just overtaken by the excitement and pleasure and she was giving way to pleasure. Then she decided it was time and she pulled away from his tongue and placed her pussy over him and with his help to guide she sat down on his cock. It slid in deep – she said she felt a brief moment of resistance and a moment of pain before he was fully in but she was so wet and excited that it passed immediately.
She told me that she then did something that when she told me surprised me – it apparently also surprised John very much at the time – she told John to take her camera/phone from the bedside table where she had strategically placed it – and asked him to photo her with his cock inside – she wanted to remember her first time. John obeyed and photographed her as she rode him.
She said she was getting off on it so much now that she couldn’t stop climaxing and then she lost control and it became a blur of pleasure until she realised that John had also cum and her pussy was full of his cum. She asked him to photo her again – he hesitated but she told him “I realise that fucking me is nothing special but I want these photos to remember this moment which is incredibly special to me.” John then obeyed but also said she under-rated how special it was for him.
She had also got him topo photo her sucking him and she wanted to show me the photos that she had already downloaded to her PC – I am impressed with her technological skill – I still can’t do that and John had to do all our photos from Japan and China. However in this case, I definitely did not want to see the photos and made that very clear. There is a thing as “too much information”!
I asked her why she wanted me to see and she replied “Because my big sister, I want you to really understand that I am fucking John – I am absolutely serious about him – I want him even more and I want to force your head around the fact.”
“Believe me, I know this – I do not need to see photos to tell me."
And I do know it and I have to accept that John is already started on the process of moving on. As for my sister and John – how will it go? I don’t have a clue but pray that no one gets hurt and better still, they find happiness.
It had to Happen
Last Wednesday, Savita said she wanted to go out to dinner with me and my sister said she would make sure my daughter was o.k.. Savita usually enjoys a quiet dinner at home on weekdays and so I asked what the occasion was. She said that she just wanted a special dinner with me. I agreed and we went to a Thai restaurant on Crown Street. Savita ate slowly and talked lots. We have been living together just over a week and I am still learning the many sides to her.
After the dinner, she said she wanted to visit Sue and Lisa. I was surprised but she told me that Sue had invited us for 10pm – after she finished work. I followed her meekly feeling that there was something more than I was being told.
Savita was right. Sue and Lisa were expecting us and opened a bottle of wine to drink to “the newest couple”. Lisa was clearly trying to be welcoming but more and more it is becoming obvious that she just does not like me. She has however warmed to Savita and they were soon gossiping away to an extent that amazed me given how little time they have known each other. The visit was getting more vocal when a little person emerged from the second bedroom.
It was my daughter and I immediately exclaimed “What are you doing here? “
“Aunties Sue and Lisa wanted to have me”, she explained.
The tone was a lot quieter now and after I had settled my daughter back in her bed, I came out and asked “O.K. What is going on?” I already had a pretty good idea.
“We thought it would be nice to see your daughter” said Sue quite nervously.
“To leave John and my sister alone, I suppose.” I replied.
Savita said “Yes, your sister asked us.”
“And no one thought to discuss it with me.”
Lisa was ready to respond but Savita kept talking. “Grace, it was very hard for me not to tell you but I really believed it wasn’t fair to tell you. You would feel you had to make a decision and really it is totally between John and your sister. If you approved it then it creates pressure on John and your sister – if you don’t approve then I think you would have regretted it later. I am sorry but I did believe that it was best for everyone to give those two a chance to see how they go,”
“So John played along?”
“No, he was not aware of the plan – it was your sister who pushed it.”
“John will be pretty pissed off to be manipulated like this.”
“Possibly but he’ll get over it’ said Sue. “But it sounds like it isn’t going too bad – I got a text message from your sister an hour ago saying ‘Not a virgin. So wonderful’”.
I didn’t want to show my emotions but I felt like I had been kicked in the stomach when I heard this. I was angry at everyone – especially Savita who I felt had betrayed me. I got up and went back to the room where my daughter was and looked at her. She was half asleep and I just lay down beside her. I felt hurt and deeply alone. There was no one I could talk to – Savita was against me.
I dozed for a few minutes– the effect of the wine I guess - but then woke up suddenly and decided it was time to go home. I silently slid away from my now sleeping daughter and came out, saying “I’m going now”.
“Wait for me”, Savita pleaded but I ignored her.
She rushed out after me as I went down to find a taxi. I was not walking home even If I was angry. Savita grabbed my hand but I pulled away.
Savita said “I was right – you love John most – why did I fucking expect different.”
I looked at her and said “Do you really think that?”
“Yes – as soon as there is a threat that he might find someone else you reject me.”
“Savita, he’s fucking my sister – you don’t know how I feel."
“No. But I know how I feel. I feel just so glad that he is doing it – he is the person who scares me most – because he is so good and you love him so fucking much!”
“You’re jealous?”
“So much!”
“Is that why you helped my sister?”
“Of course. I will do anything to get him and you apart sexually– provided it doesn’t hurt him. – I accept he will always be your good friend and I know why but I think your sister might just be the best thing for him – and I think he is the best for her and for me, it’s the best too.”
“So my feelings do not matter?”
“Of course they matter – but the feelings you have for John are too hard for me – I am sorry Grace but I want John to be taken. I’m so jealous of him – I know he could get you back anytime he wants.”
The emotion that Savita was trying to hold back affected me more than I thought it would.
“Savita, it’s not that I want John back. I just wanted to be respected – everyone decided I couldn’t be trusted.”
“No – nobody decided that. Sue and I both wanted to tell you but your sister swore us to secrecy and Lisa supported her strongly – she said she knew if you were involved then it would never be just John and her. She is deadly serious that she tries to get John by herself.”
“She must have talked a lot to you.”
“We did talk – she knows that I want her to succeed. She planned this so carefully. She wanted her first time with John to be something that could reach him. She knew how carefully I planned to catch you – although I always thought it was just to be as a casual part of your life.”
“But, Savita, why don’t you trust my love for you.”
“Grace, you are wonderful but you have so many people in your life – how can I compete- and I do so much want you for the long time. . I can cope with the men you fuck – but not John. John warned me it wouldn’t be easy – he asked was I ready for a woman who was so sexually active – could I cope with the jealousy.
“Fuck John! Why does he say things like that.”
“He’s been married to you for years and he was warning me from experience that it wasn’t easy – as he put it if I go in for a long term relationship with my eyes open, it’s much more likely to succeed and sorry, Grace, I want long term.”
“John is so fucking arrogant – he feels he can explain me.”
Savita laughed “I’m so glad you are angry at him even if what you are saying is complete rubbish. Trouble is Grace you know its rubbish and you love him too much.”
“Savita, listen carefully. Of course I care deeply about John – we have so much history and he was so good to me. He can be closest friends with women - just look at Sue – she loves John but she does not want to fuck him. But Savita get this clear I want long-term with you – I pray it works and I don’t screw things up. I promise you I won’t fuck him and I will never do anything to get in the way of him with my sister or him with any other woman– I know I have you and I am not complaining. I am just hurt the way it was done.”
“Sorry, Grace – I can see that.”
We then kissed and made up. I am flattered by Savita’s jealousy. Again and again, I am reminded just how precious Savita is. John picked it well when he emphasised that she is a good person and there was so much between us.
Savita asked “shall we go home or back to Sue’s?”
“Do you think it s ok to go home? Will we interrupt?’
“I just promised to be out till midnight and it’s already past then.”
“I don’t want to go back to Sue’s – I think Lisa hates me.”
“What do you expect – you fuck her partner when she is 7 months pregnant and then boast about it in your blog.”
“Oh fuck – I’m so stupid – I never saw it that way - it’s not what I meant – but I see why she hates me. How can you stand such a horrible woman as me, Savita?”
Savita laughed. “Grace, I can think of no one less horrible - you put your foot in it but you never aim to hurt. I love you for your innocent good-will – you never want to hurt people but you do forget not everyone is quite as horny as you and a lot of people get jealous.”
I don’t think she was only talking of Lisa.
Savita then said “Let’s go home - I need some sleep – I have to work tomorrow.“
When we arrived home, the door to the other bedroom was closed and John was not on the sofa where he has been sleeping– I was relieved – I did not want to face John or my sister tonight. Savita and I shared a shower and cuddling up together we went to sleep.
After the dinner, she said she wanted to visit Sue and Lisa. I was surprised but she told me that Sue had invited us for 10pm – after she finished work. I followed her meekly feeling that there was something more than I was being told.
Savita was right. Sue and Lisa were expecting us and opened a bottle of wine to drink to “the newest couple”. Lisa was clearly trying to be welcoming but more and more it is becoming obvious that she just does not like me. She has however warmed to Savita and they were soon gossiping away to an extent that amazed me given how little time they have known each other. The visit was getting more vocal when a little person emerged from the second bedroom.
It was my daughter and I immediately exclaimed “What are you doing here? “
“Aunties Sue and Lisa wanted to have me”, she explained.
The tone was a lot quieter now and after I had settled my daughter back in her bed, I came out and asked “O.K. What is going on?” I already had a pretty good idea.
“We thought it would be nice to see your daughter” said Sue quite nervously.
“To leave John and my sister alone, I suppose.” I replied.
Savita said “Yes, your sister asked us.”
“And no one thought to discuss it with me.”
Lisa was ready to respond but Savita kept talking. “Grace, it was very hard for me not to tell you but I really believed it wasn’t fair to tell you. You would feel you had to make a decision and really it is totally between John and your sister. If you approved it then it creates pressure on John and your sister – if you don’t approve then I think you would have regretted it later. I am sorry but I did believe that it was best for everyone to give those two a chance to see how they go,”
“So John played along?”
“No, he was not aware of the plan – it was your sister who pushed it.”
“John will be pretty pissed off to be manipulated like this.”
“Possibly but he’ll get over it’ said Sue. “But it sounds like it isn’t going too bad – I got a text message from your sister an hour ago saying ‘Not a virgin. So wonderful’”.
I didn’t want to show my emotions but I felt like I had been kicked in the stomach when I heard this. I was angry at everyone – especially Savita who I felt had betrayed me. I got up and went back to the room where my daughter was and looked at her. She was half asleep and I just lay down beside her. I felt hurt and deeply alone. There was no one I could talk to – Savita was against me.
I dozed for a few minutes– the effect of the wine I guess - but then woke up suddenly and decided it was time to go home. I silently slid away from my now sleeping daughter and came out, saying “I’m going now”.
“Wait for me”, Savita pleaded but I ignored her.
She rushed out after me as I went down to find a taxi. I was not walking home even If I was angry. Savita grabbed my hand but I pulled away.
Savita said “I was right – you love John most – why did I fucking expect different.”
I looked at her and said “Do you really think that?”
“Yes – as soon as there is a threat that he might find someone else you reject me.”
“Savita, he’s fucking my sister – you don’t know how I feel."
“No. But I know how I feel. I feel just so glad that he is doing it – he is the person who scares me most – because he is so good and you love him so fucking much!”
“You’re jealous?”
“So much!”
“Is that why you helped my sister?”
“Of course. I will do anything to get him and you apart sexually– provided it doesn’t hurt him. – I accept he will always be your good friend and I know why but I think your sister might just be the best thing for him – and I think he is the best for her and for me, it’s the best too.”
“So my feelings do not matter?”
“Of course they matter – but the feelings you have for John are too hard for me – I am sorry Grace but I want John to be taken. I’m so jealous of him – I know he could get you back anytime he wants.”
The emotion that Savita was trying to hold back affected me more than I thought it would.
“Savita, it’s not that I want John back. I just wanted to be respected – everyone decided I couldn’t be trusted.”
“No – nobody decided that. Sue and I both wanted to tell you but your sister swore us to secrecy and Lisa supported her strongly – she said she knew if you were involved then it would never be just John and her. She is deadly serious that she tries to get John by herself.”
“She must have talked a lot to you.”
“We did talk – she knows that I want her to succeed. She planned this so carefully. She wanted her first time with John to be something that could reach him. She knew how carefully I planned to catch you – although I always thought it was just to be as a casual part of your life.”
“But, Savita, why don’t you trust my love for you.”
“Grace, you are wonderful but you have so many people in your life – how can I compete- and I do so much want you for the long time. . I can cope with the men you fuck – but not John. John warned me it wouldn’t be easy – he asked was I ready for a woman who was so sexually active – could I cope with the jealousy.
“Fuck John! Why does he say things like that.”
“He’s been married to you for years and he was warning me from experience that it wasn’t easy – as he put it if I go in for a long term relationship with my eyes open, it’s much more likely to succeed and sorry, Grace, I want long term.”
“John is so fucking arrogant – he feels he can explain me.”
Savita laughed “I’m so glad you are angry at him even if what you are saying is complete rubbish. Trouble is Grace you know its rubbish and you love him too much.”
“Savita, listen carefully. Of course I care deeply about John – we have so much history and he was so good to me. He can be closest friends with women - just look at Sue – she loves John but she does not want to fuck him. But Savita get this clear I want long-term with you – I pray it works and I don’t screw things up. I promise you I won’t fuck him and I will never do anything to get in the way of him with my sister or him with any other woman– I know I have you and I am not complaining. I am just hurt the way it was done.”
“Sorry, Grace – I can see that.”
We then kissed and made up. I am flattered by Savita’s jealousy. Again and again, I am reminded just how precious Savita is. John picked it well when he emphasised that she is a good person and there was so much between us.
Savita asked “shall we go home or back to Sue’s?”
“Do you think it s ok to go home? Will we interrupt?’
“I just promised to be out till midnight and it’s already past then.”
“I don’t want to go back to Sue’s – I think Lisa hates me.”
“What do you expect – you fuck her partner when she is 7 months pregnant and then boast about it in your blog.”
“Oh fuck – I’m so stupid – I never saw it that way - it’s not what I meant – but I see why she hates me. How can you stand such a horrible woman as me, Savita?”
Savita laughed. “Grace, I can think of no one less horrible - you put your foot in it but you never aim to hurt. I love you for your innocent good-will – you never want to hurt people but you do forget not everyone is quite as horny as you and a lot of people get jealous.”
I don’t think she was only talking of Lisa.
Savita then said “Let’s go home - I need some sleep – I have to work tomorrow.“
When we arrived home, the door to the other bedroom was closed and John was not on the sofa where he has been sleeping– I was relieved – I did not want to face John or my sister tonight. Savita and I shared a shower and cuddling up together we went to sleep.
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