The other day, I got a desperate sounding phone call from Lisa. I had just got back from work – she was asking if I knew where Sue was – her phone was off. I said I didn’t know and asked her what was the matter – she sounded virtually in tears.
Lisa is always so calm and I was worried and asked are you ok? She said “yes” “Your daughter?” She then burst into tears and said that her daughter seemed very sick – not breathing properly. I told her to get ready and I would be waiting for her downstairs in my car and we would go off to the Hospital – probably nothing to worry but no point to take risks.
I could totally understand where Lisa was coming from – a sick child really stresses you out. I just slipped on the nearest clothes and immediately was in the car and stopping (illegally) outside Lisa’s block of flat. I had hardly arrived before Lisa was there, baby in her arms.
We drove to Randwick and I let Lisa off in front of Emergency and then found parking. She rushed in and by the time I arrived the nurse had had a look and calmed Lisa by saying that the girl was in no immediate danger but the doctor would see them shortly.
Her daughter was sleeping and we talked quietly. Lisa thanked me – especially since she said she had been so rude to me recently. I said I deserved it and that Savita had made me realise just how bad I was. Lisa smiled and said “No, Grace, not bad – you re just being yourself – your usual sexy self. I am just so fucking jealous of you. I know Sue loves you – what can I do?”
“Well you can start trusting Sue. She values and loves you more than anything – I know she would never give you up – even if I wanted her as my partner. And you can know that I have Savita and even if I were not with her, I could never be happy getting between you and Sue – you are such a great couple – a sign of the good side of life. I am a stupid fuck slut but please trust me Lisa – I would never mean to hurt my dearest friends and I think of both like that.”
Lisa said “I believe almost everything you say”.
“What don’t you believe?”
“That you are a stupid fuck slut.”
We laughed. Lisa’s daughter stirred a little and so we fell silent but the mood was quite good – Lisa was calmer about her daughter. Suddenly Sue rushed in, looking frantic. She had got the message that Lisa had left in the flat and had caught a taxi here immediately. Her phone battery was flat and she looked so anxious. When she saw Lisa and me sitting together she rushed up and Lisa very softly told her that it wasn’t too bad.
We still had to wait about an hour before the doctor could see Lisa – Sue and Lisa told me that I should go home but I wanted to be sure that everything was ok and also I wanted to take them home. I had called Savita to say where I was.
The three of us talked – I focussed on saying how great Savita is – a favourite topic of mine and they humoured me. We talked about other things. After a bit, I wandered away for a while to get a coffee – quite a search - so that Sue and Lisa could talk.
Finally the doctor saw them and it seems that there was quite a bit of congestion but her breathing sounded much worse than it was and they didn’t want her to stay at hospital. That was the best news of all but it was also pretty good news for me – given how much I respect her -when Lisa kissed me on the cheek when I dropped them home and said “From now on, let’s be friends.”
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
My Silly Brother
If he hadn’t been so rude to Savita, I would feel sorry for my brother. He is trying hard to be head of the family in place of my father but he has still to learn the ability to work with reality rather than command it. He has argued intensely with me and my sister. Apparently he also told my mother off. He rang up to John and was quite rude without even seeing it.
I think I stirred the pot by my comments about John and my sister. He told my sister that John was not right for her – too old, too sexual – and then rang up John to say he should leave my sister alone since she needed a younger partner – someone who had not been involved with her sister and someone less sexually focused. He also suggested that John “rescue” me from Savita.
John told my brother he was probably right that he was not good enough for my sister but she was not a captive and she was freely choosing her life. John went on to say that we should respect her choice since she was an intelligent young adult. John also told my brother that he was totally wrong about Savita and that she was a wonderful young woman who was making me so happy. He said all my friends were united in wanting us to succeed and he was alienating both his sisters in attacking Savita.
John’s mix of tact and forcefulness seems to have born fruit in that my brother said “I’ll have to think about what you said” rather than just getting angry.
John and I talked about this matter since my sister has been very upset and we are both keen to calm her down. She has always been very close to my brother and she is taking it a lot worse than the rest of us. Mum is coming up to visit us and hopefully that will soothe the tensions.
My sister-in-law called me this morning to say that we were being too hard on her husband. He was just focusing on being a good head of family – which she added was to be increased by one in about 6 months’ time. He is focussed on doing the best for us all and we should respect his wisdom.
I had to swallow my words about his “wisdom” but congratulated her on the news. I also said that I hoped we could sort things out but emotions were running high at the moment and perhaps her husband might consider that he was speaking to adults with their own feelings and desires. The conversation was polite but also very cautious.
I have to say that both Savita and John have been very supportive – both have been insulted by my brother but both are saying that we should be patient and give my brother time to calm down. I think my sister and I are both very lucky in the partners we have!
I think I stirred the pot by my comments about John and my sister. He told my sister that John was not right for her – too old, too sexual – and then rang up John to say he should leave my sister alone since she needed a younger partner – someone who had not been involved with her sister and someone less sexually focused. He also suggested that John “rescue” me from Savita.
John told my brother he was probably right that he was not good enough for my sister but she was not a captive and she was freely choosing her life. John went on to say that we should respect her choice since she was an intelligent young adult. John also told my brother that he was totally wrong about Savita and that she was a wonderful young woman who was making me so happy. He said all my friends were united in wanting us to succeed and he was alienating both his sisters in attacking Savita.
John’s mix of tact and forcefulness seems to have born fruit in that my brother said “I’ll have to think about what you said” rather than just getting angry.
John and I talked about this matter since my sister has been very upset and we are both keen to calm her down. She has always been very close to my brother and she is taking it a lot worse than the rest of us. Mum is coming up to visit us and hopefully that will soothe the tensions.
My sister-in-law called me this morning to say that we were being too hard on her husband. He was just focusing on being a good head of family – which she added was to be increased by one in about 6 months’ time. He is focussed on doing the best for us all and we should respect his wisdom.
I had to swallow my words about his “wisdom” but congratulated her on the news. I also said that I hoped we could sort things out but emotions were running high at the moment and perhaps her husband might consider that he was speaking to adults with their own feelings and desires. The conversation was polite but also very cautious.
I have to say that both Savita and John have been very supportive – both have been insulted by my brother but both are saying that we should be patient and give my brother time to calm down. I think my sister and I are both very lucky in the partners we have!
Friday, March 12, 2010
Monday, March 8, 2010
Family Problems
Last weekend, Savita and I went to Melbourne. This was an opportunity for Savita to meet my family. She had met my mother and they had got on o.k. but that was at a time straight after my rape and everything was quite disrupted and Savita was not my established partner.
I was quite nervous about how my family would treat my life partner. We flew down Friday night and arrived after dinner. Mum met us but my brother and sister-in-law were out. Mum was marvellous- when Savita arrived she gave us both a big hug and was just so nice to Savita, treating her like a respected guest, saying to her how pleased she was to welcome her daughter’s partner. She showed us to the room- actually my sister’s room - and told Savita how my sister kept singing her praises. She said she was delighted by how happy Savita was making me and thanked her .I was just so glad that Mum could be so supportive.
Saturday daytime, we went out and looked around a bit. Savita was not very familiar with Melbourne and we had a lovely walk around the Botanic Gardens as well going to the Art Gallery. Savita enjoyed the ride on a tram and we had a wonderful day
Unfortunately, that was the upbeat bit. Dinner was not a happy affair. Mum tried to warm things up but my brother and his wife were decidedly frosty. Savita became clearly uncomfortable despite Mum’s best efforts. My brother and sister-in-law barely spoke and when they did it was so formal and rude that I wish they would keep quiet. So, in short, it was a miserable meal.
Later on, my brother and I had a talk. It was equally uncomfortable. He started with the question, “Are you really planning to spend you life with her?”
“Why not?”
“There are many more appropriate people.”
“Appropriate – how? Who?”
“Like John – he was better.”
I was furious and said to him “Haven’t you heard that John is now fucking our sister? She’s climbing on him and riding him every night – I get the details in full graphic glory – every fucking time he cums in her mouth – she is loving it – they are both real;ly happy - do you want to break that up?” I knew my words were very embarrassing to him and he was very uncomfortable. I wanted that – I was so angry at him.
“Besides, dear brother, I like pussy – I am a lesbian whore – get used to it.”
“At least you could have got a better partner -like Wei.”
”Why is Wei better?”
“She’s more appropriate.”
“Because she’s a whore like me?”
“No – not that – not that at all. She’s just more like us.”
Then it clicked. “You dirty little racist prick- I am ashamed to have you as a brother.” I said and stormed off.
I was in tears when Savita found me. I didn’t want to say anything but Savita had guessed it all. It was ridiculous but she comforted me, saying “Don’t be upset – I’m ok with it – I am not married to your brother – I’m married to you.” The word “married” surprised me a bit – quite positively but I was worried about Savita’s feelings.
“I shouldn’t have brought you – how dare that life prick insult you.”
Savita said “My mother insulted you first time I took you home – your mother has been so welcoming to me. I had a lovely talk with her just now. She couldn’t be nicer – she did warn me to look after you though. Let’s enjoy our time – tomorrow, you show me around Melbourne shopping– I’m the tourist here and we fly out in the evening.”
By now, Mum had found out about the argument and she was very upset, trying to make the peace but at the same time she told me “If your brother doesn’t apologise then don’t bend – looking at you two together, I know Savita is right for you – you cannot let him damage this. But he and his wife are good people – give them time – they’ll realise they are wrong on this – don’t cut them out too much.”
The rest of the stay was o.k. I was still pretty upset but Savita was determined to enjoy and we did some hard-core shopping. (A pair of shoes for me and a lovely (pricy) handbag for Savita) When I came back to Sydney, I mentioned my brother’s attitude to my sister and she said she would try to talk sense to him. I heard her a bit later and talking was less a thing than shouting and my sister hung off very angry. All she said to me was “I am so, so disappointed in him. He is so ignorant –please remember Mum and I are 100% in support.”
And I am so glad of their support!
I was quite nervous about how my family would treat my life partner. We flew down Friday night and arrived after dinner. Mum met us but my brother and sister-in-law were out. Mum was marvellous- when Savita arrived she gave us both a big hug and was just so nice to Savita, treating her like a respected guest, saying to her how pleased she was to welcome her daughter’s partner. She showed us to the room- actually my sister’s room - and told Savita how my sister kept singing her praises. She said she was delighted by how happy Savita was making me and thanked her .I was just so glad that Mum could be so supportive.
Saturday daytime, we went out and looked around a bit. Savita was not very familiar with Melbourne and we had a lovely walk around the Botanic Gardens as well going to the Art Gallery. Savita enjoyed the ride on a tram and we had a wonderful day
Unfortunately, that was the upbeat bit. Dinner was not a happy affair. Mum tried to warm things up but my brother and his wife were decidedly frosty. Savita became clearly uncomfortable despite Mum’s best efforts. My brother and sister-in-law barely spoke and when they did it was so formal and rude that I wish they would keep quiet. So, in short, it was a miserable meal.
Later on, my brother and I had a talk. It was equally uncomfortable. He started with the question, “Are you really planning to spend you life with her?”
“Why not?”
“There are many more appropriate people.”
“Appropriate – how? Who?”
“Like John – he was better.”
I was furious and said to him “Haven’t you heard that John is now fucking our sister? She’s climbing on him and riding him every night – I get the details in full graphic glory – every fucking time he cums in her mouth – she is loving it – they are both real;ly happy - do you want to break that up?” I knew my words were very embarrassing to him and he was very uncomfortable. I wanted that – I was so angry at him.
“Besides, dear brother, I like pussy – I am a lesbian whore – get used to it.”
“At least you could have got a better partner -like Wei.”
”Why is Wei better?”
“She’s more appropriate.”
“Because she’s a whore like me?”
“No – not that – not that at all. She’s just more like us.”
Then it clicked. “You dirty little racist prick- I am ashamed to have you as a brother.” I said and stormed off.
I was in tears when Savita found me. I didn’t want to say anything but Savita had guessed it all. It was ridiculous but she comforted me, saying “Don’t be upset – I’m ok with it – I am not married to your brother – I’m married to you.” The word “married” surprised me a bit – quite positively but I was worried about Savita’s feelings.
“I shouldn’t have brought you – how dare that life prick insult you.”
Savita said “My mother insulted you first time I took you home – your mother has been so welcoming to me. I had a lovely talk with her just now. She couldn’t be nicer – she did warn me to look after you though. Let’s enjoy our time – tomorrow, you show me around Melbourne shopping– I’m the tourist here and we fly out in the evening.”
By now, Mum had found out about the argument and she was very upset, trying to make the peace but at the same time she told me “If your brother doesn’t apologise then don’t bend – looking at you two together, I know Savita is right for you – you cannot let him damage this. But he and his wife are good people – give them time – they’ll realise they are wrong on this – don’t cut them out too much.”
The rest of the stay was o.k. I was still pretty upset but Savita was determined to enjoy and we did some hard-core shopping. (A pair of shoes for me and a lovely (pricy) handbag for Savita) When I came back to Sydney, I mentioned my brother’s attitude to my sister and she said she would try to talk sense to him. I heard her a bit later and talking was less a thing than shouting and my sister hung off very angry. All she said to me was “I am so, so disappointed in him. He is so ignorant –please remember Mum and I are 100% in support.”
And I am so glad of their support!
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