I find I am enjoying work quite a bit at the moment. I know it is strange and probably perverted but I am cumming more often when clients fuck me and I am feeling more sexy and slutty when I see men. I have always been excited showing myself to clients in the waiting room – it is a mental thing, knowing that they are looking at me as a sex object and that I am offering myself to them for fucking. There is no pretence of anything other than I am a whore and it is the harsh honesty of the matter that turns me on.
Recently, I have been even more turned on and sometimes when I enter the waiting room and see the look of pure lust on the face of the potential client, I get quite wet in anticipation – interestingly, when I do get wet, I feel the guys are more likely to choose me – maybe I exude more of a sexual feeling?
I am regularly getting between 5 and 15 cocks a day four or five days a week – so I am really getting fucked and if I didn’t enjoy it, I would go crazy. To maintain sanity, I always take one week off each month – unlike some girls, I have never worked over my period and, in fact, even though I could go back to work after three or four days, I string it out to 6 days and have that week completely off from sex with anyone other than John.
While I have always found work good, I have been wondering why it is so much more enjoyable recently and realise that it is largely due to the fact that I am probably happier and more relaxed in myself than any time since I started working. Having the absolutely and utterly greatest husband ever possible, having my lovely family on my good terms and having interesting and wonderful friends all make me so much at peace with the world. I feel good and I am letting myself relax into the role of whore. (It is not my most important role: being a mother and being John’s wife are much more important to me but being a prostitute is a role that fills a part of me.)
Another reason I am enjoying work more is that I have added a bit of variety to it through my contacts with Chantelle’s brothel. They have thrown me some more interesting work what including gangbangs and a couple of special clients. They repeated their offer for me to work there but I really do not want it – in my words “why would I want to work with a group of girls who are so up themselves and who pretend they entertainers or ladies of pleasure. I do not entertain, I fuck for money. I am a whore and I like the honesty of where I work and we are all hookers together.” I said this to the manager and she just laughed, saying that she could see my point but it was a nice place to work. In reply, I could only comment that I am not a “nice” girl.
I have already described in my blog that they introduced to me a gangbang group and a special overnight client. They have also set up a smaller group session of 6 or so guys that I will be doing next week. The most recent introduction is another client who really enjoys cumming in the mouth of Asian girls as well as eating them out. Chantelle’s place has few, if any, Asian girls and they do not offer cum-in-mouth and so I gave them a chance to get his business.
What they did not tell me about him was he loved giving verbal abuse – I think he would have liked to be physically abusive also - he asked me if I minded being whipped and I said “yes, I do mind”. At one point he tried to dig his fingernails into my tits and I told him that if he did that any more, the session was over – without refund. Our session was at the brothel and so he knew I could call for help – otherwise I think he might have done it more.
When I walked in, he was having a shower. When he came out, the first words he said was “So, you’re the whore they sent.” He then started to tell me how I was just too ugly – and I immediately apologised saying if I was not suitable then I could give his money back and we could finish right now. He didn’t like that because I could tell from his outstanding cock that he wanted me – apparently I was not quite as ugly as he said.
He then started on how Asian girls were all just cheap sluts and I was probably craving white cock. I just smiled but was wondering whether to throw it in - I sensed that the guy had some real hostility problems towards women, especially Asian ones. But he was paying well – I was getting $1,000 for a two hour session. (I don’t know how much the house was getting). Also I do not like quitting easily.
Actually I did not mind the abuse so much – I enjoy verbal abuse and always want John and my favourite client F. to call me names (although both steer clear of the racial stereotyping that this guy loved and neither has called me ugly).
He then said “well, slut but are you waiting for – I’m not paying you to stand around looking ugly – get your fucking mouth to work.” So I knelt before and started sucking him – he shot his load almost immediately and I swallowed it. At this point, most guys would let me go rinse out my mouth but he told me to stay put. I said most guys liked me to wash out the mouth, so we could kiss and he said “Why would I want to kiss a fucking whore like you? You kiss my cock and lick my ass – that’s all that a chink slut like you is good for.”
He then lay back on the bed and ordered me to lick his cock and balls clean. I did this as he kept telling me that I was a cheap little slut and so on. He began to get hard again as I was licking him clean and then ordered me “Show me your pussy, slut.” And so I moved around so that he could get a good view between my legs. I felt his hand immediately touch me between my legs. He was not particularly gentle but not worse than quite a few guys.
Actually I was quite turned on by the humiliation and he said “you really are a wet little whore, aren’t you?” He then pulled me to him and wanted to fuck me – we had a minute’s disagreement over a condom but he agreed reluctantly. He fucked me quite hard and was clearly turned on as I rode him. He came inside me and I came also - although I made him feel that my climax was probably simulated - I thought he might have made trouble if he thought I was getting off. It is not often that I fake faking it!
He came one more time in the session – in my mouth- before washing up and finally letting me wash myself. At the end he said “I suppose you expect me to fucking book you again – well if you give better service next time, I’ll hire you again but really you should pay me for using your cunt.” I just replied “We’ll see what happens.” Even though I had been turned on by being completely used, the guy was trouble and so I told the manager that if he tried to book me again, I was definitely never available. She asked why and I explained – she said that she understood.
Even though, the guy was a complete creep, I enjoyed being used – I am pretty sick I guess – and I want to continue exploring this side of me. Yes, I am enjoying being a whore at this moment.
Friday, July 31, 2009
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Wei in Sydney
Thought I had posted this but it seems I did not. I wrote it about the time that Yahoo was closing and did not actually get to post it even though I had written it– should make mentions of Wei in my last update a little clearer.
Well, Mum certainly knows how to manage it – she has got Wei to safety. Mum tried first to discourage Wei from escort work but found Wei unresponsive to that tack. Her next plan was that Wei come and stay with Mum’s friend, L., in Sydney and work at the brothel L. runs.
Mum commented that Wei has very low self-esteem and she would have thought it better if Wei could be persuaded not to work as a hooker but she also thought it more important to get her out of what seems to be a very abusive and destructive relationship. Mum told me that Wei’s boyfriend/pimp seemed to be a petty thug and minor criminal who has had a few run-ins with the law. She said that Wei seemed to be a very nice girl who was surprisingly soft given the circles she mixed in.
The biggest problem was to persuade Wei not to return to her boyfriend – she argued about where she could go and said she still loved him. Mum and my sister felt they were fighting a losing battle until my brother quite surprisingly intervened saying that she should ask herself another question – does he love her. As a man, my brother commented, he knows that if you love someone you protect them – he couldn’t imagine hitting a woman at all but he would rather die than hit his wife – it showed a lack of love. The comment was pretty brutal and blunt but it was effective – especially coming from a man - and Wei folded and agreed to try Sydney.
Wei then asked would she be able to see me. My mother said she was astonished by Wei’s question and asked why on earth not. Wei said that she thought my husband might not like me to associate with girls who create trouble. My sister laughed out loud and said to her that John was the last person who would ever tell me not to associate with someone – he was just too respectful of me – she said that John’s attitudes were the complete opposite of controlling. Also Wei was not making trouble – she had been caught up in trouble and that is completely different. My sister went on to say John would be completely understanding and would not be the least bit critical.
Wei had only about $100 – her pimp kept all the money and so my brother insisted on lending her $1000 for airfare and living – with a very solemn promise from Wei (who insisted on signing an IOU) that she would repay him as soon as she possible. My brother continues to surprise me and when I spoke to him he told me that he was sickened by the way Wei had been treated and he had only done the minimum that he should do as a decent man towards a friend of mine – his wife had told him off for making it a loan rather than a gift but my brother pointed out she would almost definitely have refused a gift. Once again the decency of my family makes me proud of them but also a bit sad for the time I lost being alienated from them for so long.
They put Wei on a plane the next day and I met her at the airport and took her to L’s place. Wei had covered up most of the marks but when I looked carefully, I could see them. Wei seemed very shy with me at first but I stayed quite a while with her at L’s place and we chatted in her new room. Wei asked me (too timidly) if I would hold her a while and we cuddled and finished up making love. She responded even more than in Melbourne and she held me a long time after we had satisfied each other, telling me how much she needed me.
When I came out of the room, L was there with a Western woman of about the same age whom she introduced as Renaye, her partner. I had never known L was gay. L teased me by saying “Your friend and you seemed to be having fun in there? Does she taste sweet? But then I recall when you worked for me, you were always ready for lesbian doubles. I guess you like pussy a lot, eh?”
“Was I too noisy?” I asked –embarrassed, but also turned on, by knowing these two women had heard me and Wei fucking.
“Well”, said L. “it was quite exciting to hear your moans when Wei was eating you out – and you telling her to keep licking – and Wei enjoys your pussy licking too from what we hear. Renaye and I are hoping to learn from you.”
L’s partner smiled at me and told L “Stop teasing the poor girl – it’s so nice to see – and hear - girls who can have such a great time together. Grace, don’t be embarrassed – you are just a very sexy girl who knows how to enjoy sex so well. I envy you how completely you open up. L has often told me what a great girl you are with all your clients too – be proud of your sexuality, dear.”
Then L said very seriously “Your mother is someone I owe so much to – I might tease you – but as her daughter you can trust me. It is strange to see her daughter so much enjoying a girl – your mother would have freaked out if I touched her – and I desired her so much – your mother was just so beautiful, you know.”
I felt a bit freaked out by this – it is hard to think of my mother as an object of desires – although I know she was, not only for L, but for a lot of people including my Dad.
L went on to say “I will look after Wei – trust me. As your friend, Renaye and I will take her under our wing.” L is a tough woman but I have always found her to be fair and I know she has always treated me well. I trust her.
I thanked her and left, feeling at least partly relieved that Wei was safe but I am a little worried about Wei’s saying she needed me. How often do I close my blogs by asking why I make my life so complicated? At least, things are not boring.
Well, Mum certainly knows how to manage it – she has got Wei to safety. Mum tried first to discourage Wei from escort work but found Wei unresponsive to that tack. Her next plan was that Wei come and stay with Mum’s friend, L., in Sydney and work at the brothel L. runs.
Mum commented that Wei has very low self-esteem and she would have thought it better if Wei could be persuaded not to work as a hooker but she also thought it more important to get her out of what seems to be a very abusive and destructive relationship. Mum told me that Wei’s boyfriend/pimp seemed to be a petty thug and minor criminal who has had a few run-ins with the law. She said that Wei seemed to be a very nice girl who was surprisingly soft given the circles she mixed in.
The biggest problem was to persuade Wei not to return to her boyfriend – she argued about where she could go and said she still loved him. Mum and my sister felt they were fighting a losing battle until my brother quite surprisingly intervened saying that she should ask herself another question – does he love her. As a man, my brother commented, he knows that if you love someone you protect them – he couldn’t imagine hitting a woman at all but he would rather die than hit his wife – it showed a lack of love. The comment was pretty brutal and blunt but it was effective – especially coming from a man - and Wei folded and agreed to try Sydney.
Wei then asked would she be able to see me. My mother said she was astonished by Wei’s question and asked why on earth not. Wei said that she thought my husband might not like me to associate with girls who create trouble. My sister laughed out loud and said to her that John was the last person who would ever tell me not to associate with someone – he was just too respectful of me – she said that John’s attitudes were the complete opposite of controlling. Also Wei was not making trouble – she had been caught up in trouble and that is completely different. My sister went on to say John would be completely understanding and would not be the least bit critical.
Wei had only about $100 – her pimp kept all the money and so my brother insisted on lending her $1000 for airfare and living – with a very solemn promise from Wei (who insisted on signing an IOU) that she would repay him as soon as she possible. My brother continues to surprise me and when I spoke to him he told me that he was sickened by the way Wei had been treated and he had only done the minimum that he should do as a decent man towards a friend of mine – his wife had told him off for making it a loan rather than a gift but my brother pointed out she would almost definitely have refused a gift. Once again the decency of my family makes me proud of them but also a bit sad for the time I lost being alienated from them for so long.
They put Wei on a plane the next day and I met her at the airport and took her to L’s place. Wei had covered up most of the marks but when I looked carefully, I could see them. Wei seemed very shy with me at first but I stayed quite a while with her at L’s place and we chatted in her new room. Wei asked me (too timidly) if I would hold her a while and we cuddled and finished up making love. She responded even more than in Melbourne and she held me a long time after we had satisfied each other, telling me how much she needed me.
When I came out of the room, L was there with a Western woman of about the same age whom she introduced as Renaye, her partner. I had never known L was gay. L teased me by saying “Your friend and you seemed to be having fun in there? Does she taste sweet? But then I recall when you worked for me, you were always ready for lesbian doubles. I guess you like pussy a lot, eh?”
“Was I too noisy?” I asked –embarrassed, but also turned on, by knowing these two women had heard me and Wei fucking.
“Well”, said L. “it was quite exciting to hear your moans when Wei was eating you out – and you telling her to keep licking – and Wei enjoys your pussy licking too from what we hear. Renaye and I are hoping to learn from you.”
L’s partner smiled at me and told L “Stop teasing the poor girl – it’s so nice to see – and hear - girls who can have such a great time together. Grace, don’t be embarrassed – you are just a very sexy girl who knows how to enjoy sex so well. I envy you how completely you open up. L has often told me what a great girl you are with all your clients too – be proud of your sexuality, dear.”
Then L said very seriously “Your mother is someone I owe so much to – I might tease you – but as her daughter you can trust me. It is strange to see her daughter so much enjoying a girl – your mother would have freaked out if I touched her – and I desired her so much – your mother was just so beautiful, you know.”
I felt a bit freaked out by this – it is hard to think of my mother as an object of desires – although I know she was, not only for L, but for a lot of people including my Dad.
L went on to say “I will look after Wei – trust me. As your friend, Renaye and I will take her under our wing.” L is a tough woman but I have always found her to be fair and I know she has always treated me well. I trust her.
I thanked her and left, feeling at least partly relieved that Wei was safe but I am a little worried about Wei’s saying she needed me. How often do I close my blogs by asking why I make my life so complicated? At least, things are not boring.
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Updates
I have been not writing my blog regularly while I transfer it. Now I can update what has been happening. Lots of things have been happening – my life didn’t take a break even if my blog did – I wish I could control my world and slow it down by not writing about it – then I could have restful times!
Family
News about my family is generally good– everyone is well. Bit worried about John, though – he seems quite stretched at the moment. Work is difficult, I believe, and he comes home to a lot of demands. I am trying to take things off him at the moment but he just naturally takes responsibility and I can’t really ask my daughter to leave her daddy alone when they love each other so much – but sometimes as he carries her around on his back, reads to her and listens to her concerts or stories, I can see just how tired he is.
Annette and her son are thriving – it seems he is the cleverest four month old ever. Annette is getting out a bit but it is hard when your son is so young.
The bad news is that, as my sister had been worrying, she lost her job in a restructure – she is talking about using her savings to come to Sydney for a while and see if she can find a job here – and also try living away from home. She has asked me to help her find an apartment near mine – I am very nervous about the responsibility for her – how can I keep her safe and protect her – she is very innocent. I said this to Mum and she said she trusts me 100% but Mum also stressed that my sister is not my responsibility – she is a grown woman. I know that but I also know that I also know if anything happens to her while she is here I will never forgive myself. But, as John reminds me, it is not my choice and I should enjoy having her near me – and I will I am sure.
My friends
Jane, Sue, Lisa and I had Yum Cha together last week – the amount of gossip was incredible. Jane, Sue and I have known each other for over eight years and have a lot of common friends. Lisa knows most of them through Sue and so she joined in very actively. Although Sue, Jane and I are all Chinese, we have to speak in English since we speak such different dialects (Sue speaks Cantonese, Jane speaks Mandarin and Fujian style Hokkien and I have a slight knowledge of Mandarin and Singapore-style Hokkien but not enough to say I speak it.) So, although Lisa is a Filipina, she can join in all the conversation and is not cut out by us turning all the time to Chinese.
Jane has settled into her new life. She is a dedicated mother – I really admire her devotion to her children and her husband has backed off – he has fortnightly access to the children and always takes it up. But according to Jane, he is treading carefully and not making trouble – none of us however trust him that much. I know Jane is finding it hard and she did say again how much of a support our transsexual friend, Annie, is – she was cautious because she knows that I am jealous of Annie with John. She did remark that, although Annie still has the hots for him, John has managed it very well and Annie is very realistic now but still feels very strongly that John is a great friend. Sue very clearly told me that I should not be jealous – John does not fuck Annie at all – end of story.
I wish I could be as sure about Lin. She is still hovering around John. Sue has told me not to worry – she strongly suspects he is handling her the same way as Annie.
Most of the talk, however, was about Sue and Lisa’s baby – still some months off. They are very excited and the conversation kept drifting back to this topic all the time. Sue is working hard saving up for their child. Jane and I gave “helpful” mother’s advice. It would probably disappoint our clients if they heard that when 4 prostitutes get together, they spent more time talking about nappies, breast-feeding and such than about men and customers.
It is so lovely just to sit around and chat reasonably idly with friends and I hope we can make these catch-ups more regular.
Wei
I had already written about Wei coming to Sydney. She seems to be thriving on the change. L. says she is one of the best workers at the brothel and very popular. The bruises have almost all completely gone – I have explored her body a few times to check. L. comments that her only concern is that Wei seems to be trying to imitate me and she is worried that Wei is not as able to cope as me. Wei is always so keen to have time with me and time is a mix of talk about work and heavy love-making.
My girl lovers
I was lamenting the absence of girl-girl loving a few months ., but it has come back with a vengeance – apart from Annette whose bed I am now sharing two or three nights a week, I am also having regular loving making sessions with Wei, Sylvie, Chantelle and a girl called Savita who I will tell more about later.
The Hunk
I had a chance to catch up with the hunk- he invited me to his place and I agreed. At first, it was a bit awkward since I am now intimate with his sister – they seem to have some agreement that when on invites me home the other one is out. I wasn’t sure if he still wanted to fuck me now that I am seeing his sister but after about 10 minutes of small talk, he took hold of me and said “Unless you say no, I’m going to fuck your brains out you hot little girl – God, I want you.” I did not say “no” and I was turned on that he still wanted me.
He then pulled me close – I could feel his erection through his pants and I could feel his fingers working at my blouse buttons. Then he undid my jeans and slid them off me. He was working fast and furious at me all the time – getting me undressed. Once my jeans were off, my panties went quickly and then even though my blouse was still on (although unbuttoned) he just pushed me on the floor, spread my legs and pushed into me – I could feel his hard cock filling me. He was grunting as he did me on the carpet – and “did me” is a good way of putting it – very animal as it so often is with him. He came in my pussy and then as he pulled out. I licked his cock clean, tasting the mix of cum and pussy juices off his cock which was still a little hard even after cumming.
After that it was non-stop fucking or playing for about three hours until almost the time I had to go. The sex is always hot and very physical. He came four times in total, one more time in my pussy, once in my mouth and that other time all over my face. We moved around the flat – although this time carefully avoiding Sylvie’s room- and ending up in his bed.
He asked me if I minded just sitting a short time with him and having a coffee with him as we talked. He said he hated always finishing up just fucking – he enjoyed my company and not just my body. I could hardly refuse although I couldn’t stay long. We chatted about Sylvie, about him. He asked me again why I work – he seems convinced that John must be making me. But the conversation wasn’t heavy and I am actually getting to quite like him – he is not nearly as arrogant as someone so handsome could easily be.
I guess that he is really a nice guy – he is just not very interesting to me to be honest once we move beyond fucking. He is just not as funny and enthralling as John or as quick at understanding me. I know how lucky I am – I can have an animal fuck with the hunk and then go home and fuck a man who is fascinating in every way but much less animal.
Work –gangbangs: my new speciality
Getting to be a bit of a gangbang girl – had my third session for this year – this time it was 3 guys from the last time and seven new guys. The organiser from last time contacted me and asked if I was willing – a couple of his mates had really enjoyed last time and asked if I would do it again – a longer session with more fucking but still finishing off with bukkake . They were inviting some of their mates to make up numbers. I agreed on $2,500. I still paid $500 to Chantelle’s place – on the principle that if I want further references, I should keep them sweet. The manager was very surprised that I paid but has signalled that she will always refer “interesting” cases to me. I told her I hoped so.
I am a little surprised just how much I love gangbangs – I feel I am putting on a show for the men while being a complete slut. However, as John and I discussed, there is one important factor that enables me to enjoy it – I am setting the agenda – I am not being forced and always feel that I can get out – not that I have ever wanted to. The first time Chantelle’s establishment organised the gangbang for four girls and set firm ground rules. I set them the next two times with the guy who organised both. Before I go in, there are certain fixed rules that I agreed with him –condoms for intercourse, no pinching, no violence and there is an agreed exit strategy if things get out of control. It required a bit of trust of the organiser but both times I have dealt with him he has been very understanding and supportive – even to the extent that he told one guy this time to be more gentle – the guys was not being violent – just a bit clumsy.
The venue was the same as last time (a motel room) but I varied the approach – they were a little less shy than the last time since they knew more what to expect and they did not need as much warming up. So when I walked in, they whistled and cheered. The room was warm -I had told the organiser that it had to be a warm room if he wanted me to strip off - it is freezing cold outside this time of year! – so I quickly shed my coat to more wolf whistles and cheers. I was wearing a short black leather skirt and a matching leather top that left my midriff exposed – inside a bra and panties (white lacy). –I had felt pretty cold outside even with my coat on.
I pulled the condoms out of my bag and moved around the room tossing a condom to each guy, saying “You’ll need these because you guys are going to fuck my brains out [a line I borrowed from the hunk] – and I’ve got lots of brains!” Mixed laughter and cheers. Then I asked if anyone needed a second condom? and a few raised their hands and I said “Gee, you’re strong – I’ll hold you to this” As I tossed them a second condom. “Remember I need my cum bath at the end, boys – so save a little, heh?”
Then I pulled out my dildo from my bag and said “At least I know there’s one hard thing here” and started sucking it like a cock. “Lots of hard things here” one guy shouted out and the others cheered. They were a good-humoured bunch of guys and I could tell I was going to enjoy it.
“Prove it”, I responded and one guy stood up and dropped his pants showing a very strong hard-on. “Come on, babe, get it”, he shouted and the others cheered. I smiled at him and went up to him. Taking it in my hand, I responded. “Mmm, pretty hard – what about the rest of you boys?” I knelt down and gave him a short suck. The guys were audibly enjoying this with lots of catcalls and such as they dropped their pants and formed a circle around me. I did the circle, sucking each cock before moving to the bed, saying “I thought you guys wanted to fuck me not just play around.”
They were soon taking turns to fuck me while most of the time, my mouth was full with another cock. The guys were soon all cumming inside me – mostly while fucking me although a couple shot their loads while I was sucking them and one gave me a facial.
By the time the last ones had finished, a few of the more intrepid ones were back for seconds but gradually, they were slowing down. It ran the risk of fizzling out and so, I gave them show, describing what I do with my girlfriend – and also talking about how much I love cock while I used my dildo to get myself off. I told them how wet I was and anything to turn them on. Slowly they moved out of their post-coital apathy into a more participatory mood and I could see that they would soon be ready for the finale – my cum bath.
So , I got all of them – except the organiser to whom I promised special treatment - to gather around me and I started to suck the cocks of the guys, taking turns around the room until I could see 9 erections surrounding me and then the first one came in my hair and then the next across my face. Soon almost all had come making me quite cum-covered both on my head and body.
Then as the grand finale, I knelt before the organiser sucking him off while letting all the guys watch me. I used my years of skill to deep throat him and give my best blow job and at the same time I was moving my dildo in and out of my pussy – playing the role of a horny slut (actually it was not so much playing a role as being). When the organiser came – first spurt into my mouth and second spurt across my face as I let the cock slide out of my mouth - I immediately bowed to him, saying “Thank you, Sir, for organising this - I hope I have served you well” and then turned to the rest of them saying “and thank you, all of you, for tonight –I hope you have all enjoyed using me as much as I have enjoyed being used by me.” I was delighted by the cheers (and applause) in response but also quickly gathered my things, pulled my coat over myself - and dashed to the car, turning the car heater to full strength. A quick exit is a good one for leaving an impression.
Getting home was not what I expected. I had hoped to surprise John when I got back but found him in the midst of caring for my daughter who was having a gastric attack – so I quickly washed myself down and relieved John – I spent the night sleeping in the bed with my daughter keeping her calm and by the morning she was much better.
Other work
I have reached a total 8014 men in my official count at time of writing. I have been working steadily and enjoying it but if I am totally honest, day-to-day it does not vary much: man comes in, we show ourselves to him, he chooses one, we go upstairs, he pays me, I suck and fuck him and he goes away, hopefully satisfied.
I have had one other introduction from Chantelle’s establishment – he likes to cum in the mouth and on the face, likes the girl to give a show, likes overnight and likes Asian. He is rich and apparently quite high in his company and comes to Sydney regularly. They suggested me because I am open-minded and willing to do many things and to take his abusive language – he calls girls sluts and whores – and he is very arrogant generally. To be honest I do not like him but he pays very well (he paid me $3000 for the night and the agency another $1,500) and he satisfies me in that I feel really slutty fucking with a sleazy man like him.
I am still fucking with my favourite client F. I see him most weeks and he still uses me like a slut but ultimately respects me more than a lot of the politer clients. His description of my new rich client is that he sounds like trash.
And that is enough news for one post, don’t you think?
Family
News about my family is generally good– everyone is well. Bit worried about John, though – he seems quite stretched at the moment. Work is difficult, I believe, and he comes home to a lot of demands. I am trying to take things off him at the moment but he just naturally takes responsibility and I can’t really ask my daughter to leave her daddy alone when they love each other so much – but sometimes as he carries her around on his back, reads to her and listens to her concerts or stories, I can see just how tired he is.
Annette and her son are thriving – it seems he is the cleverest four month old ever. Annette is getting out a bit but it is hard when your son is so young.
The bad news is that, as my sister had been worrying, she lost her job in a restructure – she is talking about using her savings to come to Sydney for a while and see if she can find a job here – and also try living away from home. She has asked me to help her find an apartment near mine – I am very nervous about the responsibility for her – how can I keep her safe and protect her – she is very innocent. I said this to Mum and she said she trusts me 100% but Mum also stressed that my sister is not my responsibility – she is a grown woman. I know that but I also know that I also know if anything happens to her while she is here I will never forgive myself. But, as John reminds me, it is not my choice and I should enjoy having her near me – and I will I am sure.
My friends
Jane, Sue, Lisa and I had Yum Cha together last week – the amount of gossip was incredible. Jane, Sue and I have known each other for over eight years and have a lot of common friends. Lisa knows most of them through Sue and so she joined in very actively. Although Sue, Jane and I are all Chinese, we have to speak in English since we speak such different dialects (Sue speaks Cantonese, Jane speaks Mandarin and Fujian style Hokkien and I have a slight knowledge of Mandarin and Singapore-style Hokkien but not enough to say I speak it.) So, although Lisa is a Filipina, she can join in all the conversation and is not cut out by us turning all the time to Chinese.
Jane has settled into her new life. She is a dedicated mother – I really admire her devotion to her children and her husband has backed off – he has fortnightly access to the children and always takes it up. But according to Jane, he is treading carefully and not making trouble – none of us however trust him that much. I know Jane is finding it hard and she did say again how much of a support our transsexual friend, Annie, is – she was cautious because she knows that I am jealous of Annie with John. She did remark that, although Annie still has the hots for him, John has managed it very well and Annie is very realistic now but still feels very strongly that John is a great friend. Sue very clearly told me that I should not be jealous – John does not fuck Annie at all – end of story.
I wish I could be as sure about Lin. She is still hovering around John. Sue has told me not to worry – she strongly suspects he is handling her the same way as Annie.
Most of the talk, however, was about Sue and Lisa’s baby – still some months off. They are very excited and the conversation kept drifting back to this topic all the time. Sue is working hard saving up for their child. Jane and I gave “helpful” mother’s advice. It would probably disappoint our clients if they heard that when 4 prostitutes get together, they spent more time talking about nappies, breast-feeding and such than about men and customers.
It is so lovely just to sit around and chat reasonably idly with friends and I hope we can make these catch-ups more regular.
Wei
I had already written about Wei coming to Sydney. She seems to be thriving on the change. L. says she is one of the best workers at the brothel and very popular. The bruises have almost all completely gone – I have explored her body a few times to check. L. comments that her only concern is that Wei seems to be trying to imitate me and she is worried that Wei is not as able to cope as me. Wei is always so keen to have time with me and time is a mix of talk about work and heavy love-making.
My girl lovers
I was lamenting the absence of girl-girl loving a few months ., but it has come back with a vengeance – apart from Annette whose bed I am now sharing two or three nights a week, I am also having regular loving making sessions with Wei, Sylvie, Chantelle and a girl called Savita who I will tell more about later.
The Hunk
I had a chance to catch up with the hunk- he invited me to his place and I agreed. At first, it was a bit awkward since I am now intimate with his sister – they seem to have some agreement that when on invites me home the other one is out. I wasn’t sure if he still wanted to fuck me now that I am seeing his sister but after about 10 minutes of small talk, he took hold of me and said “Unless you say no, I’m going to fuck your brains out you hot little girl – God, I want you.” I did not say “no” and I was turned on that he still wanted me.
He then pulled me close – I could feel his erection through his pants and I could feel his fingers working at my blouse buttons. Then he undid my jeans and slid them off me. He was working fast and furious at me all the time – getting me undressed. Once my jeans were off, my panties went quickly and then even though my blouse was still on (although unbuttoned) he just pushed me on the floor, spread my legs and pushed into me – I could feel his hard cock filling me. He was grunting as he did me on the carpet – and “did me” is a good way of putting it – very animal as it so often is with him. He came in my pussy and then as he pulled out. I licked his cock clean, tasting the mix of cum and pussy juices off his cock which was still a little hard even after cumming.
After that it was non-stop fucking or playing for about three hours until almost the time I had to go. The sex is always hot and very physical. He came four times in total, one more time in my pussy, once in my mouth and that other time all over my face. We moved around the flat – although this time carefully avoiding Sylvie’s room- and ending up in his bed.
He asked me if I minded just sitting a short time with him and having a coffee with him as we talked. He said he hated always finishing up just fucking – he enjoyed my company and not just my body. I could hardly refuse although I couldn’t stay long. We chatted about Sylvie, about him. He asked me again why I work – he seems convinced that John must be making me. But the conversation wasn’t heavy and I am actually getting to quite like him – he is not nearly as arrogant as someone so handsome could easily be.
I guess that he is really a nice guy – he is just not very interesting to me to be honest once we move beyond fucking. He is just not as funny and enthralling as John or as quick at understanding me. I know how lucky I am – I can have an animal fuck with the hunk and then go home and fuck a man who is fascinating in every way but much less animal.
Work –gangbangs: my new speciality
Getting to be a bit of a gangbang girl – had my third session for this year – this time it was 3 guys from the last time and seven new guys. The organiser from last time contacted me and asked if I was willing – a couple of his mates had really enjoyed last time and asked if I would do it again – a longer session with more fucking but still finishing off with bukkake . They were inviting some of their mates to make up numbers. I agreed on $2,500. I still paid $500 to Chantelle’s place – on the principle that if I want further references, I should keep them sweet. The manager was very surprised that I paid but has signalled that she will always refer “interesting” cases to me. I told her I hoped so.
I am a little surprised just how much I love gangbangs – I feel I am putting on a show for the men while being a complete slut. However, as John and I discussed, there is one important factor that enables me to enjoy it – I am setting the agenda – I am not being forced and always feel that I can get out – not that I have ever wanted to. The first time Chantelle’s establishment organised the gangbang for four girls and set firm ground rules. I set them the next two times with the guy who organised both. Before I go in, there are certain fixed rules that I agreed with him –condoms for intercourse, no pinching, no violence and there is an agreed exit strategy if things get out of control. It required a bit of trust of the organiser but both times I have dealt with him he has been very understanding and supportive – even to the extent that he told one guy this time to be more gentle – the guys was not being violent – just a bit clumsy.
The venue was the same as last time (a motel room) but I varied the approach – they were a little less shy than the last time since they knew more what to expect and they did not need as much warming up. So when I walked in, they whistled and cheered. The room was warm -I had told the organiser that it had to be a warm room if he wanted me to strip off - it is freezing cold outside this time of year! – so I quickly shed my coat to more wolf whistles and cheers. I was wearing a short black leather skirt and a matching leather top that left my midriff exposed – inside a bra and panties (white lacy). –I had felt pretty cold outside even with my coat on.
I pulled the condoms out of my bag and moved around the room tossing a condom to each guy, saying “You’ll need these because you guys are going to fuck my brains out [a line I borrowed from the hunk] – and I’ve got lots of brains!” Mixed laughter and cheers. Then I asked if anyone needed a second condom? and a few raised their hands and I said “Gee, you’re strong – I’ll hold you to this” As I tossed them a second condom. “Remember I need my cum bath at the end, boys – so save a little, heh?”
Then I pulled out my dildo from my bag and said “At least I know there’s one hard thing here” and started sucking it like a cock. “Lots of hard things here” one guy shouted out and the others cheered. They were a good-humoured bunch of guys and I could tell I was going to enjoy it.
“Prove it”, I responded and one guy stood up and dropped his pants showing a very strong hard-on. “Come on, babe, get it”, he shouted and the others cheered. I smiled at him and went up to him. Taking it in my hand, I responded. “Mmm, pretty hard – what about the rest of you boys?” I knelt down and gave him a short suck. The guys were audibly enjoying this with lots of catcalls and such as they dropped their pants and formed a circle around me. I did the circle, sucking each cock before moving to the bed, saying “I thought you guys wanted to fuck me not just play around.”
They were soon taking turns to fuck me while most of the time, my mouth was full with another cock. The guys were soon all cumming inside me – mostly while fucking me although a couple shot their loads while I was sucking them and one gave me a facial.
By the time the last ones had finished, a few of the more intrepid ones were back for seconds but gradually, they were slowing down. It ran the risk of fizzling out and so, I gave them show, describing what I do with my girlfriend – and also talking about how much I love cock while I used my dildo to get myself off. I told them how wet I was and anything to turn them on. Slowly they moved out of their post-coital apathy into a more participatory mood and I could see that they would soon be ready for the finale – my cum bath.
So , I got all of them – except the organiser to whom I promised special treatment - to gather around me and I started to suck the cocks of the guys, taking turns around the room until I could see 9 erections surrounding me and then the first one came in my hair and then the next across my face. Soon almost all had come making me quite cum-covered both on my head and body.
Then as the grand finale, I knelt before the organiser sucking him off while letting all the guys watch me. I used my years of skill to deep throat him and give my best blow job and at the same time I was moving my dildo in and out of my pussy – playing the role of a horny slut (actually it was not so much playing a role as being). When the organiser came – first spurt into my mouth and second spurt across my face as I let the cock slide out of my mouth - I immediately bowed to him, saying “Thank you, Sir, for organising this - I hope I have served you well” and then turned to the rest of them saying “and thank you, all of you, for tonight –I hope you have all enjoyed using me as much as I have enjoyed being used by me.” I was delighted by the cheers (and applause) in response but also quickly gathered my things, pulled my coat over myself - and dashed to the car, turning the car heater to full strength. A quick exit is a good one for leaving an impression.
Getting home was not what I expected. I had hoped to surprise John when I got back but found him in the midst of caring for my daughter who was having a gastric attack – so I quickly washed myself down and relieved John – I spent the night sleeping in the bed with my daughter keeping her calm and by the morning she was much better.
Other work
I have reached a total 8014 men in my official count at time of writing. I have been working steadily and enjoying it but if I am totally honest, day-to-day it does not vary much: man comes in, we show ourselves to him, he chooses one, we go upstairs, he pays me, I suck and fuck him and he goes away, hopefully satisfied.
I have had one other introduction from Chantelle’s establishment – he likes to cum in the mouth and on the face, likes the girl to give a show, likes overnight and likes Asian. He is rich and apparently quite high in his company and comes to Sydney regularly. They suggested me because I am open-minded and willing to do many things and to take his abusive language – he calls girls sluts and whores – and he is very arrogant generally. To be honest I do not like him but he pays very well (he paid me $3000 for the night and the agency another $1,500) and he satisfies me in that I feel really slutty fucking with a sleazy man like him.
I am still fucking with my favourite client F. I see him most weeks and he still uses me like a slut but ultimately respects me more than a lot of the politer clients. His description of my new rich client is that he sounds like trash.
And that is enough news for one post, don’t you think?
Saturday, July 4, 2009
5 more in one
Sister Visit
When my sister put her visit to us back a week, I was stupidly anxious – thinking that she was beginning to find her sister embarrassing. I hinted this to my mother and got a blast from her – it seems that my sister’s job is under stress and she had a project that she had to put the time into – my mother basically told me off for lacking trust in my sister and I was quite properly put into place.
But the following weekend, my sister could make it and it just reinforces how important family is. She came Friday night and left Sunday and I enjoyed the whole time. I’m not sure that John enjoyed it quite as much since he was kicked out of the bedroom so that my sister could sleep there – actually, to be precise, he kicked himself out of the room. My sister and I chatted to all hours and she won my heart by absolutely doting on my daughter and Annette’s heart for doting on her little son. John was delighted with the way she managed to be warm to both.
The big news from her (apart from the pressures of her work, which are very troubling) is that she dropped that scum of a boyfriend – after I met him, he told her that if she didn’t put out then she would lose him and she told him in that case, she would lose him and she got immediately out of his car and hailed down a taxi to get home.
Since then he has been calling her up and begging her to go out again. He finally apologised for what he said and sent her flowers. My sister said that apart from not having anyone to take her out she is not missing him at all and in fact she feels a weight has been lifted off her.
My mother rang up on Saturday and said that on Friday night he had called around, demanding to see my sister – she did not tell him my sister was in Sydney. My mother said he was very insistent. My brother had to come out and tell him to leave. He was very offensive, saying that my sister owed him for all the care he had given and my brother got really angry saying that care was looking after and accepting your partner’s wishes and that he just was a user. If my mother had intervened there might have been a fight but my mother gave my sister’s ex a piece of her mind and he left with a flea in the ear – I almost felt sorry for him (not really) – my mother’s earful would shatter a man of steel.
My sister felt really bad about giving everyone trouble but my mother said that she was just so happy to see the back of that guy – she would have happily done five times as much and that my sister just had to enjoy her visit.
I was surprised just how well my sister and John got on. John was very polite and warm but my sister responded very happily and kept talking about him and how kind he was – they talked a bit about, of all things, quantum physics and the meaning of uncertainty – one of John’s real interests and one I listen to in a somewhat bemused manner. My sister responded and asked lots of relevant questions which delighted John. He remarked that her comments were very sharp.
My daughter played for ages with her and was reluctant to go to bed – she wanted to play more with her Auntie. Annette and her talked for quite a while about Annette’s little boy and Annette said that she hoped my sister would visit more often.
Just a lovely weekend and I share Annette’s hope!
Tags: sister, daughter, family, relationships, annette | Edit Tags
Wednesday 27 May 2009 - 09:16PM (EST) Edit | Delete | Permanent Link | 1 Comment
Rugby Scandal – My View
I am not a follower of football but I am troubled by the recent story on 4 Corners and which has been everywhere in the Australian press this last week. For anyone who has not heard of it, it is the story of (among other things) a gang bang of an 18 year old girl in Christchurch by a group of Australian rugby players.
http://www.abc.net.au/4corners/content/2009/s2565007.htm
The girl is clearly very distressed and damaged by the events and I can only feel deep sadness that she should have been abused. Matthew John’s apparent failure to understand and display immediate and true remorse is the biggest condemnation of him in my eyes.
But as I described a few weeks back, I have done similar things – and in fact have a bukake session booked. Moreover I even enjoy them. How can I get outraged then? Am I hypocritical?
I am not morally critical of the sexual aspect but the fact that they used someone vulnerable and young. Maybe it is unrealistic to expect macho young men to have empathy for a girl and to ensure she is left with self-respect but, if they cannot do that, then they should leave her alone completely.
My sessions including my two gang bangs to date and the forthcoming one are as a consenting professional prostitute. Maybe it is sick in many people’s eyes but at least I enter fully aware of what I am doing. I am giving consent not just in word but in fact.
From my viewpoint, one of the best things about many of my clients is the way they use a professional whore to act out fantasise in a controlled and agreed manner. They know that their fantasies are just that – they are not reality and outside the session women are to be treated respectfully. It should never be thought that what I do justifies the abuse of young and naïve girls.
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Friday 15 May 2009 - 11:01PM (EST) Edit | Delete | Permanent Link | 0 Comments
Sylvie
I think I have mentioned earlier that the hunk’s sister has called me up and asked me out for coffee – well I ran out of excuses and met her the other day. So much has been happening in my life that both Mike (the hunk) and Sylvie seemed almost things of my distant past even though I keep getting text messages and anxious calls from him on an almost daily basis and keen calls from her, suggesting we catch up.
When we met, Sylvie immediately started by saying how sorry she was that we had got off on a bad footing. I said to forget it. I asked her how job-hunting was going and she shrugged her shoulder saying that it was hard. She asked me about my work – what did I do? I was surprised and said “Hasn’t Mike told you?” She told me that although he kept on talking about me, he had never said anything about that and she had never thought to ask – she presumed I was a housewife. I was impressed with the hunk’s discretion – or is it just that he’s ashamed to be associating with a hooker?
I tried to evade the question but her curiosity was piqued. She said that she thought I would be something like an accountant – I said something like that but she didn’t believe me and kept probing until I said to her “O.k. – since you keep pressing – I work as a hooker – now you can stand up and walk away, disgusted that you, a decent woman, are dealing with a whore.”
“Jeez”, she said, “and I thought I was prickly… sorry, I don’t want to walk away – after all I’m a lesbian who sleeps around – or would if anyone wanted her- you know – although I don’t get paid for it. No-one would pay for sex with me. So you have sex with men for money? Does Mike pay? Is that why you see him?”
“No, he does not pay. Trust me: a lot of people would pay to have sex with you – but you probably wouldn’t want to have sex with them”
“You should charge him – he’s got enough cash. He does know your job?”
“Yes, I have told him clearly.”
“But why do you fuck him then?”
“He’s a hunk – very sexy and I got horny.”
“And your husband?”
“Different, he is a deeper relationship – not just a fuckable hunk – a full part of my life.”
“My poor brother – he can’t cope with having an older man preferred over him.”
“I think that’s the only reason why Mike’s still interested in me.”
“Bullshit! He’s obsessed with you because you are the sexiest and most interesting woman he’s ever met – he’s told me so many times – you’re so sexy, hot, pretty – you’re so strong, and not arrogant but absolutely and utterly real. It’s depressing for a gay girl like me – the girls who are most desirable are always straight as an arrow.”
“Then I’m not desirable?”
“What do you mean?”
“Because I’m not straight. I am very bi.”
“What music to my ears – but how can a girl like me get with a girl like you? I guess I have to pay?”
“I’m a whore at work – but not for sale all the time – is that what you think of me?”
“I’m so fucking stupid – and fucking rude – I always say the most stupid things – you must hate me – it’s just that I’m not in your class – and I do want to hold you – I know I’ve blown it and so sorry – why do I always act like a complete prat with you – I wasn’t even thinking that way – it’s just that you‘re so beautiful that an unsexy girl like me is always just going to sit there, lusting after you.”
Even though what she had said to me was very similar to what Sandra had said one time – I wasn’t offended this time – I think it was because, Sylvie wasn’t putting me down in any way. She seemed genuinely to believe she wasn’t attractive – and she is pretty although perhaps not drop-dead gorgeous like her hunk brother.
“Slow down”, I said, “what all this crap about ‘a girl like me’ and ‘not in my class’? You’re prettier than me. You can’t really believe that rubbish you’re saying.”
“Don’t flatter me – I’m realistic. I have a brother that turns heads and no-one really ever notices me –even my gay girlfriend said to me that she couldn‘t believe that a girl like me could have such a good-looking brother. I know I’m not ugly just very ordinary.”
“If I weren’t already committed, I’d be choosing you – you’ve got style and you’re warm and yes, you’re very pretty and who gives a fuck about what your brother looks like – you’re not him.”
“So could you go to bed with me like you did with him?”
“Not exactly the same but it would be so easy to go bed with you… but you seem too likely to get serious -and I have to be upfront with you – I already have a life including a husband and a committed girl partner.”
“So you do have a girl friend? I thought Mike made that up”
I explained about Annette and she said “I see –what if I agree to be just a casual partner? Would you sleep with me, then? I know I’m pathetic but you are just so beautiful – and so nice – you don’t put me down and I desire you so much.” (I can believe she has been put down by other girls – gay girls can be the most bitchy.)
“I could have casual sex with you so easily – in fact I’d love to fuck you – you’re very sexy you know but your family has a bad habit of taking things seriously.”
“I can’t say I won’t take you seriously but I will respect your wishes – after all my brother chases but accepts your wishes”
I suddenly noticed she was shaking slightly and said what’s the matter, “are you cold? You’re shivering.”
She looked at me and said “Now, you’ll really think I am crazy – I’m nervous – I always shake when nervous.”
“Nervous of what?”
“Of you.”
“What? Am I monster? I asked in complete amazement.
“Not at all, but I find it hard to talk to strangers – especially gorgeous women like you. I’m frightened that you’ll think I’m a fool.”
“You’re kidding me – you – nervous of me? God – I’m a dumb whore for crying out loud and you are a skilled professional worker.”
“I’m not a professional at all - I was only really ever a secretary in London - my brother probably told you I was a big success but I’m not really clever – my brother always boosts me up.”
“So your brother supports you? He seemed very rude to you.”
“Oh he might tease me and such but he never puts me down – he always makes me feel I’m special – I know he’s always there for me. You saw him at the worst because he was really angry at me when I was rude to you – he is so hot for you that he was really mad when I made trouble. “
“But how can you be nervous of me?”
“Every time I ring you up I feel sick with nerves – I had to force myself –Mike said that you wouldn’t bite – but he did say that I shouldn’t hope for too much – you had lots of things in your life including a husband and a committed woman partner– he said that he hoped we would be friends. I think he hopes that you might help me get out more and h might see you more. He’s always so worried about me.
“Scared of ringing me? How could you be?”
“But you’re so fucking gorgeous and I’m hopeless. What if you told me to fuck off – I couldn’t take that.”
“If I did that, it’s my problem not yours but I didn’t say it, did I?”
I can’t really understand why she is so nervous and unsure of herself – I can often understand by identifying with the person but I’m not really shy and so her feelings were alien to me but I am so glad that I hadn’t pushed her away – I had been tempted in the rush of all the other things in my life – it might have seemed nothing to me but it might have hurt her dreadfully.
I took hold of her hands across the table and pressed her palms gently, saying “Please never, never be nervous of me –I can’t understand why a nice decent girl like you could be nervous of a slut like me – you’ve got so much to offer. “
“Not enough to get you to sleep with me.”
“Because of my husband and partner only - I already have a long past with them – you are so nice, and I would sleep with you. Don’t under-rate yourself.
“You are not a slut – I hate to hear that – you are just a very sexual woman – and I am not decent – I am ashamed to say it but maybe you won’t be shocked – I often masturbate and think of being with a hot woman - will you be very offended if I say I fantasise about you – see I am a pervert.”
“Offended? I’m extremely flattered – and you’re not a pervert – everyone has fantasies and I masturbate if I’m not getting it. But you might be disappointed with the reality – fantasies can be better than the real thing.”
“I’d love to find out” and then she blurted out “could you come home with me now?” and then went bright red and started to apologise.
I said, “Sylvie, I’d love to go to your place but I really don’t want to run into your brother”
“He’s out-of-town today – you won’t see him.”
I could tell that it had been such a hard thing for Sylvie to get up the nerve to ask and so I agreed, again warning that I could only be a casual partner. She said “anything I get is more than I expect” and we headed to her place.
Once we inside, Sylvie looked very awkward and shy – uncertain what to do next. She went to the kitchen to get me a drink and came back and handed it to me shyly. I had to go to work in the evening and needed to go home before that – so I decided to take charge and to help Sylvie get past her shyness. Also I was getting very horny for this girl who seemed so hot for me. I took Sylvie in my arms and gave her a big kiss. Our tongues met and I could feel her responding. I undid her buttons of the blouse and then gently guided her to the couch – the same one upon which the hunk had fucked me so hard.
I guided her to lie down on the couch and let my hands wander, pushing her jeans down enough so that my hand could touch her panties which were quite wet – clearly she was excited.
“Hmmm … your panties are wet” I whispered in her ear.
“Sorry”, she said.
“Why sorry? I want you wet, you gorgeous girl. I’m wet for you too – feel it.”
I let my jeans move down a bit and guided her hands between my legs – I was wet and she smiled. “You do want it? You’re not just being kind.”
“I want it a lot … you make me so hot.”
I was being very careful how I spoke since she seemed so sensitive – I was worried about distressing her and so was avoiding words like “fuck” and “horny” but she immediately replied with “I’m so horny for you … I want to fuck with you,” and then realising what she had said, she said “Sorry, I shouldn’t talk dirty like that”
“Sylvie! I’m a whore – I can talk a lot more dirty than you – just relax and enjoy – you will not shock or offend me” I scolded gently.
“I want you to talk as dirty as possible to me – I will never complain”, she whispered back to me.
Even as we were talking I had slid my hand under her panties and I was delighted to find she was doing the same to me – and now, she was touching my clit and very gently and skilfully I have to say. I was getting very turned on. Sylvie might be shy and uncertain but she knew what to do.
We were now kissing each other passionately as we touched each others’ pussies. Slowly we disentangled ourselves from our clothes and our bodies were soon entwined and stimulating each other, our tits pressing against each other as we embraced and kissed with our tongues sliding into each others mouths. This girl was making me so horny.
“Can I lick your pussy?” I asked and she moaned “please, please lick me”.
I moved into position and put my face between her legs as she lay legs spread out on the couch and I started to gently tongue her clit and pussy – she was so wet that I was tasting her sweet pussy juices – so yummy!
Then to my surprise, Sylvie gave me a slight push and rolled me off the couch and on to the carpet and immediately go into 69 position and started licking my pussy. God she was good! I was cumming almost immediately and she was climaxing also. Soon we gave ourselves to our first climaxes together.
As we quietened down I moved round and told her how incredible she was as I kissed her mouth again. This was some of the best sex I have ever have had – it is so hard to describe just how she did it but she was great at the way she touched me and how she responded.
We cuddled and kissed on the carpet for a while until she said “I want to fuck you more, if you are o.k. with it, can you come to my bed?” I still had time and she was so hot that I couldn’t resist. After that Sylvie and I had another two rounds of hot love-making and she astonished me with how adventurous and experimental she was – she seemed to gain confidence all the time as she found I was enjoying it. At one point she said to mme “I really want your pussy juices on my bed – it will make it warmer for me – I was so turned on that time I found you had cum on my bed and there were your pussy juices there – even if it had been with my brother.”
I finally had to go – quite reluctantly - but we kissed and I thanked her so much. “Can I hope for a repeat?”, she asked. I assured her that I wanted it so much. Her shyness seem to have vanished and she was a lovely warm person – always before there was an awkwardness when we communicated.
As I was walking down the street, a text message came in from Sylvie “U r the hottest fuck of my life. Gorgeous.” Then a little while later another “Sorry, shouldn’t send that text – took rude”.
I texted back that I was so happy to get her first text and could she stop apologising for being one of the hottest most sexy women I have ever met. She texted me back “U make me sexy.” I called her up and we talked as I walked back to my place – I have agreed to see her again.
I discussed Sylvie’s shyness with John and also just how good a lover she was. He commented that some people just are painfully shy and often their shyness can make people underrate them - they can be great lovers if you get past their shell. He expressed a great deal of sympathy with someone who struggles with calling up – he said he hated it so much himself – I was surprised – I knew he could be shy but had never realised how difficult it was for him to face strangers.
The most surprising thing – and it actually made me feel warm – was that the hunk called up and said “Grace, what have I been hearing about you and my sister? You just made me love you twice as much – thanks for being so warm with her – you boosted her. If you had hurt her, I could have hated you but you again proved just how wonderful you are. I am just so jealous of your husband but that’s not why I called. I really did just want to say thank you – my sister is very sensitive and I cannot say how much you encouraging her means to me. I won’t disturb you any more – I just had to say how lovely you are!” and then he hang up before I could say anything.
I called him back and we talked a while. He keeps telling me how much he desires me but he also repeated that he was so glad I had got on well with his sister – I think he is genuinely concerned about her and I feel a little warmer to him as a person – he is not just a hunk.
I just wish that John desired me half as much as the hunk says he does. John loves me but he always has that slight area of self containment that keeps him from the blind passion of the hunk. But then I guess I am complimented that I can get the deep love from John who is more controlled in his affections.
Tags: sylvie, lesbian, casualsex | Edit Tags
Friday 15 May 2009 - 10:29PM (EST) Edit | Delete | Permanent Link | 0 Comments
Sex addict?
Things have been going marvellously for me recently– so much good news after being reconciled with my family. I am living with the greatest husband and a wonderful woman and two gorgeous children. I should want for nothing else So, I am worried why I still find I want to continue working – I still want to have strangers fuck me and I can still get wet at times at the thought of it. I was really turned on when I did the party with Chantelle that I mentioned in my earlier blog. I find I am quite often still excited when I walk into the client waiting room and try to persuade a man to take me upstairs and fuck me – even if I am not at all attracted to him.
The interesting thing is that I crave John as a person and as my central fuck-partner but really enjoy the others being strangers - in fact I prefer it. I can enjoy a few close clients like F. but I am often most turned on when I am fucking some complete stranger - the hunk was so exciting as a stranger and I get turned on by the idea of casual encounters like that.
Interestingly – and even more confusingly – unlike my male fuck-partners, I like my girlfriends to be intimate and so, even despite her lack of skill, I am enjoying Chantelle more as I grow closer to her more. My love-making with Annette is more exciting than my times with a relative stranger like Sandra. Although, to be honest, I have had some great casual fucks with women.
I have been reading a book called Choke by Scott Palahniuk that has a sex addict’s therapy group and admit that my tastes might seem to be pretty tame compared to that yardstick but I think I am a sex addict. I want to go with strangers, suck them off, fuck them and let them use me – pretty strange, I guess.
Up to now, I have used my difficulties with family and early life to justify my fuck slut status - I could claim that it was a rejection of my family’s respectability and anger against my being rejected by them. Now that claim looks very weak – my problems may have got me started but now my sexual cravings have taken on a life of their own.
I talked about this with John – he is always so patient with me and he tried to calm my anxieties by suggesting that I needed time to decide my direction and again saying that – apart from the safety aspect which is always on his mind –since I get so much from it, I should not beat myself up over it.
He suggested that I ask myself three questions: Why do I want it? What is wrong with wanting it? What would happen to me if I became monogamous?
Why do I want it? I know I want it because I get off on the excitement and the feel of being a slut. I enjoy the attention and the lust. I like the fucking but it is the total experience that is key. I love cock. I like to feel men using my mouth and pussy but more than that I like the idea: I like the feel that I have fucked so many men and that they still desire me as a sexual object.
What’s wrong with wanting it? There may be wrong with fucking around like a rabbit in itself but I am not alone and my choices impact my family. John, my mother, my sister and my brother have all expressed concern. I know deep in my heart that John would probably be happier if I quit even though he has always stayed committed to me and has always been so supportive – yes, he is turned on by having a sexy whore wife – but I am that even if I stop working and fucking around. I am also concerned about the effect on my daughter and I am so worried about it impacting her. These are very strong non-moralist arguments for quitting.
What would happen to me if I became monogamous? Based upon previous experience, I would get frustrated – I would crave extra excitement. Whether I could learn stability is an open question – it wasn’t working last time but I have more support mechanisms now. I could not become conventional – I could not abandon Annette for example but I could be more restrained. A more challenging thing is that I have made being a slut part of my identity – it is part of me. Going off and spreading my legs to lots of men is part of what I am and I will have to redefine myself in my own mind. I am not ashamed of being a prostitute and I am happy with my current self-definition apart from how it affects those I love.
In the short run, I will continue to sell my pussy but I know I am hiding from making a decision. I can’t be a hooker all my life and I need to think ahead. In the meantime I am finding life great – one side a wonderful set of family and friends and on the other the chance to go out and be a complete slut whenever I want. Maybe I shouldn’t be but I’m really loving it.
Should I stop fucking strangers?
Yes
0 No
1 Up to me
4 Tags: sexualaddiction, family, introspection, lifestyle, prostitution, slut, lesbian | Edit Tags
Saturday 9 May 2009 - 09:49AM (EST) Edit | Delete | Permanent Link | 1 Comment
A Talk with Lin
Lin and I are still working at the same place but we have had very little to do with each other. I was very upset by her attacks on me the other day and I have been very jealous of her and John – although I had no real justification for this jealousy. In return, Lin has been very cool to me. When we were sitting in the girls’ room waiting for clients, we sat apart and pretty much ignored each other.
Yesterday, however, there were just three girls working and when the third girl was busy, Lin came up to me and said “I want to apologise – I know I was really wrong the other day – what I said was way out of line and completely untrue – I am just so jealous of you and John that sometimes I can do really wrong things – but I do know you are good to Annette and I know why she and John both love you so much. I know you don’t like me but please at least accept my apology.”
I said, “I like you – you are very sweet usually – although I was hurt when you went me over Annette – partly because what you said has more than a grain of truth – I was being too self-centred and not focusing enough on Annette when she needed me. But the real problem I have is I that we’re rivals for the same guy and I am very jealous of you because you are so sexy and desirable.”
Lin seemed genuinely surprised “We’re not rivals. You’ve got John and I know that’s right for both of you but I am so very envious. I am obsessed with him – I dream of him – I lust after him, I dream of him fucking me– I have a problem - but you do not need to be jealous.”
Then, the door bell rang and we knew we had to get ready. I said to her that I wanted to talk more and she nodded. The madam called out “Girls, client!” and we lined up to see the client. Lin was wearing very short cut jean pants and a white blouse and as she went into the room I saw her put on her “come fuck me” expression that she does so well and makes her so popular. I was wearing a very short blue checked skirt, which did not hide my white panties and a scanty red bikini top that emphasised my breasts – the outfit made me like look like a cheap whore – in other words, it brought out my real self. I went in to offer myself but the client dismissed me almost immediately and chose Lin.
Another client came and took me – very standard fuck and suck. It was a busy time with all three of us girls busy most of the time and Lin and I had no chance to talk. At one point, I heard her in the next room as I was giving head to my client – she was moaning then almost screaming – I presume the client was fucking her or eating her out. My client, a regular, said – “fuck, that girl likes it”. I just grunted since my mouth was full of cock. As Lin’s moans continued, my client got more and more turned on until he came in my mouth.
He was curious about the girl and I told him her working name and told him he should try her - I always encourage my regulars to sample the others but pleasingly most come back and choose me quite often even when sampling.
At the end of my shift I had an hour client and expected Lin to have already have left by the time I finished and saw the client out of the place but she was waiting for me. The night shift girls were already there and we could not talk until we were out of the place.
I really wanted to get home but I felt that if I cut Lin now, I might never get a better chance to understand things. I had to call Annette and tell her where I was - she sounded pleased that Lin and I were actually talking.
Lin invited me to her flat warning it was messy but saying that we could talk more fully than at a coffee shop. The flat was a very messy bed sitter and I almost felt like I wanted to clean it – I am not very fussy but I cannot stand dirty – it was clear she did not do much entertaining. What really surprised me was that on the wall above her bed, she had stuck up a very large photo showing her facing the camera while sitting on a cock that was clearly deep in her pussy and around there were quite a few other photos of her sucking cock or fucking – the man’s face was never shown and in fact the focus of all the photos was totally on Lin being fucked or sucking. The photography was pretty amateurish. My immediate thought was whether the man was John.
I looked around and asked “What does John think of your room?” and was very surprised when she said that he had never been there. “So where do you do it”, I asked very tactlessly. Lin replied very despondently “We don’t do it. Apart from when you were with us, we haven’t done it.”
I was quite astonished – although I don’t why I should have been since John had pretty much told me this.
“Now I am worried about John – he has the most beautiful sexy girl in the world wanting to fuck him and he doesn’t take it up –if I didn’t know better I’d think he was gay!”
I was feeling embarrassed about having treated Lin coldly and remembered John’s concerns about Lin and her mental state. Lin said “you know I want him to fuck me and use me like a little piece of fluff on the side – light entertainment – but you know John, he cannot do it that way. He cannot forget I am a person and just use me as a cunt to fuck – that’s part of why I love him so much and why I feel so jealous of you – you can ride his cock, swallow his cum and then lie beside him, holding on to him. I fantasise about him taking me pushing me on the bed fucking me, coming all over me and looking at me as his little fuck slut and me lying there with him thoroughly used and owned by him – his private cum slut. I want so much for him to fuck my pussy, mouth – even my ass.”
While Lin had been speaking, she had been getting more and more turned on and was talking almost as if I was not there – her hand had drifted between her legs and I was getting uncomfortable as if I shouldn’t be there. I wasn’t sure how I felt about listening to her getting stimulated by the idea of fucking my husband but I was increasingly feeling that Lin was very strange and not stable.
Lin, however, switched back to the situation and blushed, saying “Oh fuck, now you’ll really think I’m crazy – getting off on your husband like that – I am so fucking stupid but Grace I do love him and lust after him – that’s why I am so jealous of you and almost hate you – but also I like you so much – you are sexy, sweet to me – how many girls would take the time to talk to a slut who wants to fuck their husband. “
“I like you, Lin – and we are all worried about you – you seem to be hurting too much – it’s not right for someone as young and beautiful as you. John likes you – I know he thinks you are gorgeous and I am 100% confident that he would love to fuck you but he also never wants to harm you.”
“I know John means well – I meet that tranny friend of his and we compared notes -she said the same things – no fucks, lots of lust and a feeling that even though he knows we are sluts who he could have at an instant, he regards us with complete respect and no condescension at all. Never found that with anyone else especially not a highly educated professional man who is so successful in his work - at least not in such an unforced manner. Often I think he feels I am better than him – how could he think that?.”
“So he is not fucking Annie”, I asked fascinated – John does not tell me this because he knows I feel more at ease about my own sluttish behaviour if he is fucking around also – am I the only girl in the world whose husband pretends to be fucking her friends when he isn’t?
“Not fucking either of us at all – although she said she did get a few fucks earlier on and he was great.”
“Yes he is great – but don’t think he is weak because he doesn’t fuck you and Annie,”
“I know he isn’t weak – I wouldn’t be so turned on by him if he was – it’s his control of himself, his ability to analyse and his deep warmth that are the rational causes of my desire. I find he is quite emotional though – high empathy I think – when I am distressed he is almost in tears too.”
“Yes, he does have an overly-sentimental side – but I find that so loveable.”
“So, do I. Never cold.”
It struck me as somewhat strange that Lin and I should be sitting there talking about John this way but I was enjoying it. Then Lin turned to me and said to me “Grace I am so sorry to be a nuisance to you. I do love him even if he won’t fuck me and he is committed to you. I know that but I crave his cock – I’m obsessed – I know I’m crazy. Please don’t hate me. I want to fuck him even though I know I am only a friend to him. But I have to say one thing – you, John and the rest are wrong about me – I promise 100% I am not going to top myself whatever happens – I am a survivor – maybe I act crazy – I am crazy – but I am going to be that crazy whore who troubles everyone for a long fucking time – you can’t get rid of me!”
“Thank Christ for that – we do not want to get rid of you – just to see you happier. But you can easily find someone else - many guys want you. ”
“Maybe but to them I am a cunt attached to a person – to John, I am a person with a cunt if you know what I mean.”
I did know – I feel exactly the same. “But he’s not the only one.”
“I’m sure you’re right – but he’s the only one I trust. I try fucking around – I’m good at that but the men bore me intellectually and sexually - when I am with John I get wet even though we are not fucking. If he weren’t such a fucking gentleman and would use me”
“Then you wouldn’t want him so much – maybe I should tell him to fuck you?”
“Please do – but why would you do that?”
“Because, it might move you forward – also it would be good for John to have a hot fuck like you.”
“You’re not jealous?”
“Actually I am – especially since he is turned on by you and likes you a lot– but remember I fuck around all the time and so I can’t complain. But if you can’t find the right man, what about another girlfriend?”
“Lesbian usually bores me – Annette was great but I still needed cock – and you, you’re special – you’re so sexy and hot that you excite me and make me want it but even Lisa and Sue do not turn me on – and they’re both gorgeous.”
“I know a nice girl who really needs a clever girl like you to look after her.”
“Are you a hooker or a match-maker?” Lin teased
“O.k. – just trying but she is a very lonely girl and I do worry about her.”
I had to go home and so I said to Lin “I am surprised just how much I enjoyed talking to you –it was great - we are very similar in nature – we talk the same language – I really hope that you won’t let this be the last time. Come around to our place and talk – you are a friend of all of us – Annette loves you so much.”
“I want to talk more too – but I have to be honest – I will still try to fuck John.”
“I know,”
We kissed and I left. The kiss was a chaste friend kiss – not a hot kiss like with Annette or Chantelle. I can tell our friendship will not be sexually based which is good but I was relieved when I left her – now I understand her better and see she is aware of herself – not delusional – even if she is obsessed with John. Also I believe her – she is not suicidal, thank God. I just hope she finds the right path for her life – she is really a very sweet person.
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Saturday 9 May 2009 - 09:44AM (EST) Edit | Delete | Permanent Link | 0 Comments
When my sister put her visit to us back a week, I was stupidly anxious – thinking that she was beginning to find her sister embarrassing. I hinted this to my mother and got a blast from her – it seems that my sister’s job is under stress and she had a project that she had to put the time into – my mother basically told me off for lacking trust in my sister and I was quite properly put into place.
But the following weekend, my sister could make it and it just reinforces how important family is. She came Friday night and left Sunday and I enjoyed the whole time. I’m not sure that John enjoyed it quite as much since he was kicked out of the bedroom so that my sister could sleep there – actually, to be precise, he kicked himself out of the room. My sister and I chatted to all hours and she won my heart by absolutely doting on my daughter and Annette’s heart for doting on her little son. John was delighted with the way she managed to be warm to both.
The big news from her (apart from the pressures of her work, which are very troubling) is that she dropped that scum of a boyfriend – after I met him, he told her that if she didn’t put out then she would lose him and she told him in that case, she would lose him and she got immediately out of his car and hailed down a taxi to get home.
Since then he has been calling her up and begging her to go out again. He finally apologised for what he said and sent her flowers. My sister said that apart from not having anyone to take her out she is not missing him at all and in fact she feels a weight has been lifted off her.
My mother rang up on Saturday and said that on Friday night he had called around, demanding to see my sister – she did not tell him my sister was in Sydney. My mother said he was very insistent. My brother had to come out and tell him to leave. He was very offensive, saying that my sister owed him for all the care he had given and my brother got really angry saying that care was looking after and accepting your partner’s wishes and that he just was a user. If my mother had intervened there might have been a fight but my mother gave my sister’s ex a piece of her mind and he left with a flea in the ear – I almost felt sorry for him (not really) – my mother’s earful would shatter a man of steel.
My sister felt really bad about giving everyone trouble but my mother said that she was just so happy to see the back of that guy – she would have happily done five times as much and that my sister just had to enjoy her visit.
I was surprised just how well my sister and John got on. John was very polite and warm but my sister responded very happily and kept talking about him and how kind he was – they talked a bit about, of all things, quantum physics and the meaning of uncertainty – one of John’s real interests and one I listen to in a somewhat bemused manner. My sister responded and asked lots of relevant questions which delighted John. He remarked that her comments were very sharp.
My daughter played for ages with her and was reluctant to go to bed – she wanted to play more with her Auntie. Annette and her talked for quite a while about Annette’s little boy and Annette said that she hoped my sister would visit more often.
Just a lovely weekend and I share Annette’s hope!
Tags: sister, daughter, family, relationships, annette | Edit Tags
Wednesday 27 May 2009 - 09:16PM (EST) Edit | Delete | Permanent Link | 1 Comment
Rugby Scandal – My View
I am not a follower of football but I am troubled by the recent story on 4 Corners and which has been everywhere in the Australian press this last week. For anyone who has not heard of it, it is the story of (among other things) a gang bang of an 18 year old girl in Christchurch by a group of Australian rugby players.
http://www.abc.net.au/4corners/content/2009/s2565007.htm
The girl is clearly very distressed and damaged by the events and I can only feel deep sadness that she should have been abused. Matthew John’s apparent failure to understand and display immediate and true remorse is the biggest condemnation of him in my eyes.
But as I described a few weeks back, I have done similar things – and in fact have a bukake session booked. Moreover I even enjoy them. How can I get outraged then? Am I hypocritical?
I am not morally critical of the sexual aspect but the fact that they used someone vulnerable and young. Maybe it is unrealistic to expect macho young men to have empathy for a girl and to ensure she is left with self-respect but, if they cannot do that, then they should leave her alone completely.
My sessions including my two gang bangs to date and the forthcoming one are as a consenting professional prostitute. Maybe it is sick in many people’s eyes but at least I enter fully aware of what I am doing. I am giving consent not just in word but in fact.
From my viewpoint, one of the best things about many of my clients is the way they use a professional whore to act out fantasise in a controlled and agreed manner. They know that their fantasies are just that – they are not reality and outside the session women are to be treated respectfully. It should never be thought that what I do justifies the abuse of young and naïve girls.
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Friday 15 May 2009 - 11:01PM (EST) Edit | Delete | Permanent Link | 0 Comments
Sylvie
I think I have mentioned earlier that the hunk’s sister has called me up and asked me out for coffee – well I ran out of excuses and met her the other day. So much has been happening in my life that both Mike (the hunk) and Sylvie seemed almost things of my distant past even though I keep getting text messages and anxious calls from him on an almost daily basis and keen calls from her, suggesting we catch up.
When we met, Sylvie immediately started by saying how sorry she was that we had got off on a bad footing. I said to forget it. I asked her how job-hunting was going and she shrugged her shoulder saying that it was hard. She asked me about my work – what did I do? I was surprised and said “Hasn’t Mike told you?” She told me that although he kept on talking about me, he had never said anything about that and she had never thought to ask – she presumed I was a housewife. I was impressed with the hunk’s discretion – or is it just that he’s ashamed to be associating with a hooker?
I tried to evade the question but her curiosity was piqued. She said that she thought I would be something like an accountant – I said something like that but she didn’t believe me and kept probing until I said to her “O.k. – since you keep pressing – I work as a hooker – now you can stand up and walk away, disgusted that you, a decent woman, are dealing with a whore.”
“Jeez”, she said, “and I thought I was prickly… sorry, I don’t want to walk away – after all I’m a lesbian who sleeps around – or would if anyone wanted her- you know – although I don’t get paid for it. No-one would pay for sex with me. So you have sex with men for money? Does Mike pay? Is that why you see him?”
“No, he does not pay. Trust me: a lot of people would pay to have sex with you – but you probably wouldn’t want to have sex with them”
“You should charge him – he’s got enough cash. He does know your job?”
“Yes, I have told him clearly.”
“But why do you fuck him then?”
“He’s a hunk – very sexy and I got horny.”
“And your husband?”
“Different, he is a deeper relationship – not just a fuckable hunk – a full part of my life.”
“My poor brother – he can’t cope with having an older man preferred over him.”
“I think that’s the only reason why Mike’s still interested in me.”
“Bullshit! He’s obsessed with you because you are the sexiest and most interesting woman he’s ever met – he’s told me so many times – you’re so sexy, hot, pretty – you’re so strong, and not arrogant but absolutely and utterly real. It’s depressing for a gay girl like me – the girls who are most desirable are always straight as an arrow.”
“Then I’m not desirable?”
“What do you mean?”
“Because I’m not straight. I am very bi.”
“What music to my ears – but how can a girl like me get with a girl like you? I guess I have to pay?”
“I’m a whore at work – but not for sale all the time – is that what you think of me?”
“I’m so fucking stupid – and fucking rude – I always say the most stupid things – you must hate me – it’s just that I’m not in your class – and I do want to hold you – I know I’ve blown it and so sorry – why do I always act like a complete prat with you – I wasn’t even thinking that way – it’s just that you‘re so beautiful that an unsexy girl like me is always just going to sit there, lusting after you.”
Even though what she had said to me was very similar to what Sandra had said one time – I wasn’t offended this time – I think it was because, Sylvie wasn’t putting me down in any way. She seemed genuinely to believe she wasn’t attractive – and she is pretty although perhaps not drop-dead gorgeous like her hunk brother.
“Slow down”, I said, “what all this crap about ‘a girl like me’ and ‘not in my class’? You’re prettier than me. You can’t really believe that rubbish you’re saying.”
“Don’t flatter me – I’m realistic. I have a brother that turns heads and no-one really ever notices me –even my gay girlfriend said to me that she couldn‘t believe that a girl like me could have such a good-looking brother. I know I’m not ugly just very ordinary.”
“If I weren’t already committed, I’d be choosing you – you’ve got style and you’re warm and yes, you’re very pretty and who gives a fuck about what your brother looks like – you’re not him.”
“So could you go to bed with me like you did with him?”
“Not exactly the same but it would be so easy to go bed with you… but you seem too likely to get serious -and I have to be upfront with you – I already have a life including a husband and a committed girl partner.”
“So you do have a girl friend? I thought Mike made that up”
I explained about Annette and she said “I see –what if I agree to be just a casual partner? Would you sleep with me, then? I know I’m pathetic but you are just so beautiful – and so nice – you don’t put me down and I desire you so much.” (I can believe she has been put down by other girls – gay girls can be the most bitchy.)
“I could have casual sex with you so easily – in fact I’d love to fuck you – you’re very sexy you know but your family has a bad habit of taking things seriously.”
“I can’t say I won’t take you seriously but I will respect your wishes – after all my brother chases but accepts your wishes”
I suddenly noticed she was shaking slightly and said what’s the matter, “are you cold? You’re shivering.”
She looked at me and said “Now, you’ll really think I am crazy – I’m nervous – I always shake when nervous.”
“Nervous of what?”
“Of you.”
“What? Am I monster? I asked in complete amazement.
“Not at all, but I find it hard to talk to strangers – especially gorgeous women like you. I’m frightened that you’ll think I’m a fool.”
“You’re kidding me – you – nervous of me? God – I’m a dumb whore for crying out loud and you are a skilled professional worker.”
“I’m not a professional at all - I was only really ever a secretary in London - my brother probably told you I was a big success but I’m not really clever – my brother always boosts me up.”
“So your brother supports you? He seemed very rude to you.”
“Oh he might tease me and such but he never puts me down – he always makes me feel I’m special – I know he’s always there for me. You saw him at the worst because he was really angry at me when I was rude to you – he is so hot for you that he was really mad when I made trouble. “
“But how can you be nervous of me?”
“Every time I ring you up I feel sick with nerves – I had to force myself –Mike said that you wouldn’t bite – but he did say that I shouldn’t hope for too much – you had lots of things in your life including a husband and a committed woman partner– he said that he hoped we would be friends. I think he hopes that you might help me get out more and h might see you more. He’s always so worried about me.
“Scared of ringing me? How could you be?”
“But you’re so fucking gorgeous and I’m hopeless. What if you told me to fuck off – I couldn’t take that.”
“If I did that, it’s my problem not yours but I didn’t say it, did I?”
I can’t really understand why she is so nervous and unsure of herself – I can often understand by identifying with the person but I’m not really shy and so her feelings were alien to me but I am so glad that I hadn’t pushed her away – I had been tempted in the rush of all the other things in my life – it might have seemed nothing to me but it might have hurt her dreadfully.
I took hold of her hands across the table and pressed her palms gently, saying “Please never, never be nervous of me –I can’t understand why a nice decent girl like you could be nervous of a slut like me – you’ve got so much to offer. “
“Not enough to get you to sleep with me.”
“Because of my husband and partner only - I already have a long past with them – you are so nice, and I would sleep with you. Don’t under-rate yourself.
“You are not a slut – I hate to hear that – you are just a very sexual woman – and I am not decent – I am ashamed to say it but maybe you won’t be shocked – I often masturbate and think of being with a hot woman - will you be very offended if I say I fantasise about you – see I am a pervert.”
“Offended? I’m extremely flattered – and you’re not a pervert – everyone has fantasies and I masturbate if I’m not getting it. But you might be disappointed with the reality – fantasies can be better than the real thing.”
“I’d love to find out” and then she blurted out “could you come home with me now?” and then went bright red and started to apologise.
I said, “Sylvie, I’d love to go to your place but I really don’t want to run into your brother”
“He’s out-of-town today – you won’t see him.”
I could tell that it had been such a hard thing for Sylvie to get up the nerve to ask and so I agreed, again warning that I could only be a casual partner. She said “anything I get is more than I expect” and we headed to her place.
Once we inside, Sylvie looked very awkward and shy – uncertain what to do next. She went to the kitchen to get me a drink and came back and handed it to me shyly. I had to go to work in the evening and needed to go home before that – so I decided to take charge and to help Sylvie get past her shyness. Also I was getting very horny for this girl who seemed so hot for me. I took Sylvie in my arms and gave her a big kiss. Our tongues met and I could feel her responding. I undid her buttons of the blouse and then gently guided her to the couch – the same one upon which the hunk had fucked me so hard.
I guided her to lie down on the couch and let my hands wander, pushing her jeans down enough so that my hand could touch her panties which were quite wet – clearly she was excited.
“Hmmm … your panties are wet” I whispered in her ear.
“Sorry”, she said.
“Why sorry? I want you wet, you gorgeous girl. I’m wet for you too – feel it.”
I let my jeans move down a bit and guided her hands between my legs – I was wet and she smiled. “You do want it? You’re not just being kind.”
“I want it a lot … you make me so hot.”
I was being very careful how I spoke since she seemed so sensitive – I was worried about distressing her and so was avoiding words like “fuck” and “horny” but she immediately replied with “I’m so horny for you … I want to fuck with you,” and then realising what she had said, she said “Sorry, I shouldn’t talk dirty like that”
“Sylvie! I’m a whore – I can talk a lot more dirty than you – just relax and enjoy – you will not shock or offend me” I scolded gently.
“I want you to talk as dirty as possible to me – I will never complain”, she whispered back to me.
Even as we were talking I had slid my hand under her panties and I was delighted to find she was doing the same to me – and now, she was touching my clit and very gently and skilfully I have to say. I was getting very turned on. Sylvie might be shy and uncertain but she knew what to do.
We were now kissing each other passionately as we touched each others’ pussies. Slowly we disentangled ourselves from our clothes and our bodies were soon entwined and stimulating each other, our tits pressing against each other as we embraced and kissed with our tongues sliding into each others mouths. This girl was making me so horny.
“Can I lick your pussy?” I asked and she moaned “please, please lick me”.
I moved into position and put my face between her legs as she lay legs spread out on the couch and I started to gently tongue her clit and pussy – she was so wet that I was tasting her sweet pussy juices – so yummy!
Then to my surprise, Sylvie gave me a slight push and rolled me off the couch and on to the carpet and immediately go into 69 position and started licking my pussy. God she was good! I was cumming almost immediately and she was climaxing also. Soon we gave ourselves to our first climaxes together.
As we quietened down I moved round and told her how incredible she was as I kissed her mouth again. This was some of the best sex I have ever have had – it is so hard to describe just how she did it but she was great at the way she touched me and how she responded.
We cuddled and kissed on the carpet for a while until she said “I want to fuck you more, if you are o.k. with it, can you come to my bed?” I still had time and she was so hot that I couldn’t resist. After that Sylvie and I had another two rounds of hot love-making and she astonished me with how adventurous and experimental she was – she seemed to gain confidence all the time as she found I was enjoying it. At one point she said to mme “I really want your pussy juices on my bed – it will make it warmer for me – I was so turned on that time I found you had cum on my bed and there were your pussy juices there – even if it had been with my brother.”
I finally had to go – quite reluctantly - but we kissed and I thanked her so much. “Can I hope for a repeat?”, she asked. I assured her that I wanted it so much. Her shyness seem to have vanished and she was a lovely warm person – always before there was an awkwardness when we communicated.
As I was walking down the street, a text message came in from Sylvie “U r the hottest fuck of my life. Gorgeous.” Then a little while later another “Sorry, shouldn’t send that text – took rude”.
I texted back that I was so happy to get her first text and could she stop apologising for being one of the hottest most sexy women I have ever met. She texted me back “U make me sexy.” I called her up and we talked as I walked back to my place – I have agreed to see her again.
I discussed Sylvie’s shyness with John and also just how good a lover she was. He commented that some people just are painfully shy and often their shyness can make people underrate them - they can be great lovers if you get past their shell. He expressed a great deal of sympathy with someone who struggles with calling up – he said he hated it so much himself – I was surprised – I knew he could be shy but had never realised how difficult it was for him to face strangers.
The most surprising thing – and it actually made me feel warm – was that the hunk called up and said “Grace, what have I been hearing about you and my sister? You just made me love you twice as much – thanks for being so warm with her – you boosted her. If you had hurt her, I could have hated you but you again proved just how wonderful you are. I am just so jealous of your husband but that’s not why I called. I really did just want to say thank you – my sister is very sensitive and I cannot say how much you encouraging her means to me. I won’t disturb you any more – I just had to say how lovely you are!” and then he hang up before I could say anything.
I called him back and we talked a while. He keeps telling me how much he desires me but he also repeated that he was so glad I had got on well with his sister – I think he is genuinely concerned about her and I feel a little warmer to him as a person – he is not just a hunk.
I just wish that John desired me half as much as the hunk says he does. John loves me but he always has that slight area of self containment that keeps him from the blind passion of the hunk. But then I guess I am complimented that I can get the deep love from John who is more controlled in his affections.
Tags: sylvie, lesbian, casualsex | Edit Tags
Friday 15 May 2009 - 10:29PM (EST) Edit | Delete | Permanent Link | 0 Comments
Sex addict?
Things have been going marvellously for me recently– so much good news after being reconciled with my family. I am living with the greatest husband and a wonderful woman and two gorgeous children. I should want for nothing else So, I am worried why I still find I want to continue working – I still want to have strangers fuck me and I can still get wet at times at the thought of it. I was really turned on when I did the party with Chantelle that I mentioned in my earlier blog. I find I am quite often still excited when I walk into the client waiting room and try to persuade a man to take me upstairs and fuck me – even if I am not at all attracted to him.
The interesting thing is that I crave John as a person and as my central fuck-partner but really enjoy the others being strangers - in fact I prefer it. I can enjoy a few close clients like F. but I am often most turned on when I am fucking some complete stranger - the hunk was so exciting as a stranger and I get turned on by the idea of casual encounters like that.
Interestingly – and even more confusingly – unlike my male fuck-partners, I like my girlfriends to be intimate and so, even despite her lack of skill, I am enjoying Chantelle more as I grow closer to her more. My love-making with Annette is more exciting than my times with a relative stranger like Sandra. Although, to be honest, I have had some great casual fucks with women.
I have been reading a book called Choke by Scott Palahniuk that has a sex addict’s therapy group and admit that my tastes might seem to be pretty tame compared to that yardstick but I think I am a sex addict. I want to go with strangers, suck them off, fuck them and let them use me – pretty strange, I guess.
Up to now, I have used my difficulties with family and early life to justify my fuck slut status - I could claim that it was a rejection of my family’s respectability and anger against my being rejected by them. Now that claim looks very weak – my problems may have got me started but now my sexual cravings have taken on a life of their own.
I talked about this with John – he is always so patient with me and he tried to calm my anxieties by suggesting that I needed time to decide my direction and again saying that – apart from the safety aspect which is always on his mind –since I get so much from it, I should not beat myself up over it.
He suggested that I ask myself three questions: Why do I want it? What is wrong with wanting it? What would happen to me if I became monogamous?
Why do I want it? I know I want it because I get off on the excitement and the feel of being a slut. I enjoy the attention and the lust. I like the fucking but it is the total experience that is key. I love cock. I like to feel men using my mouth and pussy but more than that I like the idea: I like the feel that I have fucked so many men and that they still desire me as a sexual object.
What’s wrong with wanting it? There may be wrong with fucking around like a rabbit in itself but I am not alone and my choices impact my family. John, my mother, my sister and my brother have all expressed concern. I know deep in my heart that John would probably be happier if I quit even though he has always stayed committed to me and has always been so supportive – yes, he is turned on by having a sexy whore wife – but I am that even if I stop working and fucking around. I am also concerned about the effect on my daughter and I am so worried about it impacting her. These are very strong non-moralist arguments for quitting.
What would happen to me if I became monogamous? Based upon previous experience, I would get frustrated – I would crave extra excitement. Whether I could learn stability is an open question – it wasn’t working last time but I have more support mechanisms now. I could not become conventional – I could not abandon Annette for example but I could be more restrained. A more challenging thing is that I have made being a slut part of my identity – it is part of me. Going off and spreading my legs to lots of men is part of what I am and I will have to redefine myself in my own mind. I am not ashamed of being a prostitute and I am happy with my current self-definition apart from how it affects those I love.
In the short run, I will continue to sell my pussy but I know I am hiding from making a decision. I can’t be a hooker all my life and I need to think ahead. In the meantime I am finding life great – one side a wonderful set of family and friends and on the other the chance to go out and be a complete slut whenever I want. Maybe I shouldn’t be but I’m really loving it.
Should I stop fucking strangers?
Yes
0 No
1 Up to me
4 Tags: sexualaddiction, family, introspection, lifestyle, prostitution, slut, lesbian | Edit Tags
Saturday 9 May 2009 - 09:49AM (EST) Edit | Delete | Permanent Link | 1 Comment
A Talk with Lin
Lin and I are still working at the same place but we have had very little to do with each other. I was very upset by her attacks on me the other day and I have been very jealous of her and John – although I had no real justification for this jealousy. In return, Lin has been very cool to me. When we were sitting in the girls’ room waiting for clients, we sat apart and pretty much ignored each other.
Yesterday, however, there were just three girls working and when the third girl was busy, Lin came up to me and said “I want to apologise – I know I was really wrong the other day – what I said was way out of line and completely untrue – I am just so jealous of you and John that sometimes I can do really wrong things – but I do know you are good to Annette and I know why she and John both love you so much. I know you don’t like me but please at least accept my apology.”
I said, “I like you – you are very sweet usually – although I was hurt when you went me over Annette – partly because what you said has more than a grain of truth – I was being too self-centred and not focusing enough on Annette when she needed me. But the real problem I have is I that we’re rivals for the same guy and I am very jealous of you because you are so sexy and desirable.”
Lin seemed genuinely surprised “We’re not rivals. You’ve got John and I know that’s right for both of you but I am so very envious. I am obsessed with him – I dream of him – I lust after him, I dream of him fucking me– I have a problem - but you do not need to be jealous.”
Then, the door bell rang and we knew we had to get ready. I said to her that I wanted to talk more and she nodded. The madam called out “Girls, client!” and we lined up to see the client. Lin was wearing very short cut jean pants and a white blouse and as she went into the room I saw her put on her “come fuck me” expression that she does so well and makes her so popular. I was wearing a very short blue checked skirt, which did not hide my white panties and a scanty red bikini top that emphasised my breasts – the outfit made me like look like a cheap whore – in other words, it brought out my real self. I went in to offer myself but the client dismissed me almost immediately and chose Lin.
Another client came and took me – very standard fuck and suck. It was a busy time with all three of us girls busy most of the time and Lin and I had no chance to talk. At one point, I heard her in the next room as I was giving head to my client – she was moaning then almost screaming – I presume the client was fucking her or eating her out. My client, a regular, said – “fuck, that girl likes it”. I just grunted since my mouth was full of cock. As Lin’s moans continued, my client got more and more turned on until he came in my mouth.
He was curious about the girl and I told him her working name and told him he should try her - I always encourage my regulars to sample the others but pleasingly most come back and choose me quite often even when sampling.
At the end of my shift I had an hour client and expected Lin to have already have left by the time I finished and saw the client out of the place but she was waiting for me. The night shift girls were already there and we could not talk until we were out of the place.
I really wanted to get home but I felt that if I cut Lin now, I might never get a better chance to understand things. I had to call Annette and tell her where I was - she sounded pleased that Lin and I were actually talking.
Lin invited me to her flat warning it was messy but saying that we could talk more fully than at a coffee shop. The flat was a very messy bed sitter and I almost felt like I wanted to clean it – I am not very fussy but I cannot stand dirty – it was clear she did not do much entertaining. What really surprised me was that on the wall above her bed, she had stuck up a very large photo showing her facing the camera while sitting on a cock that was clearly deep in her pussy and around there were quite a few other photos of her sucking cock or fucking – the man’s face was never shown and in fact the focus of all the photos was totally on Lin being fucked or sucking. The photography was pretty amateurish. My immediate thought was whether the man was John.
I looked around and asked “What does John think of your room?” and was very surprised when she said that he had never been there. “So where do you do it”, I asked very tactlessly. Lin replied very despondently “We don’t do it. Apart from when you were with us, we haven’t done it.”
I was quite astonished – although I don’t why I should have been since John had pretty much told me this.
“Now I am worried about John – he has the most beautiful sexy girl in the world wanting to fuck him and he doesn’t take it up –if I didn’t know better I’d think he was gay!”
I was feeling embarrassed about having treated Lin coldly and remembered John’s concerns about Lin and her mental state. Lin said “you know I want him to fuck me and use me like a little piece of fluff on the side – light entertainment – but you know John, he cannot do it that way. He cannot forget I am a person and just use me as a cunt to fuck – that’s part of why I love him so much and why I feel so jealous of you – you can ride his cock, swallow his cum and then lie beside him, holding on to him. I fantasise about him taking me pushing me on the bed fucking me, coming all over me and looking at me as his little fuck slut and me lying there with him thoroughly used and owned by him – his private cum slut. I want so much for him to fuck my pussy, mouth – even my ass.”
While Lin had been speaking, she had been getting more and more turned on and was talking almost as if I was not there – her hand had drifted between her legs and I was getting uncomfortable as if I shouldn’t be there. I wasn’t sure how I felt about listening to her getting stimulated by the idea of fucking my husband but I was increasingly feeling that Lin was very strange and not stable.
Lin, however, switched back to the situation and blushed, saying “Oh fuck, now you’ll really think I’m crazy – getting off on your husband like that – I am so fucking stupid but Grace I do love him and lust after him – that’s why I am so jealous of you and almost hate you – but also I like you so much – you are sexy, sweet to me – how many girls would take the time to talk to a slut who wants to fuck their husband. “
“I like you, Lin – and we are all worried about you – you seem to be hurting too much – it’s not right for someone as young and beautiful as you. John likes you – I know he thinks you are gorgeous and I am 100% confident that he would love to fuck you but he also never wants to harm you.”
“I know John means well – I meet that tranny friend of his and we compared notes -she said the same things – no fucks, lots of lust and a feeling that even though he knows we are sluts who he could have at an instant, he regards us with complete respect and no condescension at all. Never found that with anyone else especially not a highly educated professional man who is so successful in his work - at least not in such an unforced manner. Often I think he feels I am better than him – how could he think that?.”
“So he is not fucking Annie”, I asked fascinated – John does not tell me this because he knows I feel more at ease about my own sluttish behaviour if he is fucking around also – am I the only girl in the world whose husband pretends to be fucking her friends when he isn’t?
“Not fucking either of us at all – although she said she did get a few fucks earlier on and he was great.”
“Yes he is great – but don’t think he is weak because he doesn’t fuck you and Annie,”
“I know he isn’t weak – I wouldn’t be so turned on by him if he was – it’s his control of himself, his ability to analyse and his deep warmth that are the rational causes of my desire. I find he is quite emotional though – high empathy I think – when I am distressed he is almost in tears too.”
“Yes, he does have an overly-sentimental side – but I find that so loveable.”
“So, do I. Never cold.”
It struck me as somewhat strange that Lin and I should be sitting there talking about John this way but I was enjoying it. Then Lin turned to me and said to me “Grace I am so sorry to be a nuisance to you. I do love him even if he won’t fuck me and he is committed to you. I know that but I crave his cock – I’m obsessed – I know I’m crazy. Please don’t hate me. I want to fuck him even though I know I am only a friend to him. But I have to say one thing – you, John and the rest are wrong about me – I promise 100% I am not going to top myself whatever happens – I am a survivor – maybe I act crazy – I am crazy – but I am going to be that crazy whore who troubles everyone for a long fucking time – you can’t get rid of me!”
“Thank Christ for that – we do not want to get rid of you – just to see you happier. But you can easily find someone else - many guys want you. ”
“Maybe but to them I am a cunt attached to a person – to John, I am a person with a cunt if you know what I mean.”
I did know – I feel exactly the same. “But he’s not the only one.”
“I’m sure you’re right – but he’s the only one I trust. I try fucking around – I’m good at that but the men bore me intellectually and sexually - when I am with John I get wet even though we are not fucking. If he weren’t such a fucking gentleman and would use me”
“Then you wouldn’t want him so much – maybe I should tell him to fuck you?”
“Please do – but why would you do that?”
“Because, it might move you forward – also it would be good for John to have a hot fuck like you.”
“You’re not jealous?”
“Actually I am – especially since he is turned on by you and likes you a lot– but remember I fuck around all the time and so I can’t complain. But if you can’t find the right man, what about another girlfriend?”
“Lesbian usually bores me – Annette was great but I still needed cock – and you, you’re special – you’re so sexy and hot that you excite me and make me want it but even Lisa and Sue do not turn me on – and they’re both gorgeous.”
“I know a nice girl who really needs a clever girl like you to look after her.”
“Are you a hooker or a match-maker?” Lin teased
“O.k. – just trying but she is a very lonely girl and I do worry about her.”
I had to go home and so I said to Lin “I am surprised just how much I enjoyed talking to you –it was great - we are very similar in nature – we talk the same language – I really hope that you won’t let this be the last time. Come around to our place and talk – you are a friend of all of us – Annette loves you so much.”
“I want to talk more too – but I have to be honest – I will still try to fuck John.”
“I know,”
We kissed and I left. The kiss was a chaste friend kiss – not a hot kiss like with Annette or Chantelle. I can tell our friendship will not be sexually based which is good but I was relieved when I left her – now I understand her better and see she is aware of herself – not delusional – even if she is obsessed with John. Also I believe her – she is not suicidal, thank God. I just hope she finds the right path for her life – she is really a very sweet person.
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Saturday 9 May 2009 - 09:44AM (EST) Edit | Delete | Permanent Link | 0 Comments
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