Positive Reaction

My blog about Yuki got a heated and strong reaction from Savita. She told me off in the most marvellous way.

I had written about my fears of being a stepping stone and not a final destination. I wasn’t aware she was reading my blog - but she is and she blasted me (in the most loving way)– ““For crying out, Grace, when will you ever learn that I love you with all my heart. If you don’t want to fuck Yuki any more, then don’t. You never have to fuck anyone unless you are willing. - I am going to be there with you until you wrap me up in a rubbish bag and put me outside to be collected by the rubbish collectors. I hope you are a bag lady then, so you can pick me and carry me off.”

“Sweet words, Savita, but will I be as interesting when I’m 50.”

“Grace, listen to me very carefully when I get home, do I fuck you all the time?”

“No,”

“We talk – about you but also about me. When I have a problem at work, who do I want to talk to? You! When I hear a joke – I always want to tell you. We talk about the world … about our friendship … about so much. This is so fucking important to me. Get it clear: I love fucking you so much; I am so sexually turned on but if you never fucked me again, I would still want you”

Then Savita opened up more fully than at any time:

“I have never said this to you but when we first met I did think you were a bit of a bimbo, fucking men for money. I still was horny for you but thought I’d get bored. Then we had a discussion about some things and I was blown over – you were more cluey than me. I thought ‘Wow, this girl is so smart’ and I fell hard for you. All those years that we were apart, I pined for you. I never met anyone I felt for one tenth as much. Now I always turn to you for your view. Fuck it, Grace. I need you as company so much. The fact that you’re a hot fuck slut is great but if you gave up fucking completely, I’d still want you as my life partner.”

She continued: “I want to grow old with you. I enjoy the fuck slut side of you a lot – and I don’t want to stop it until it ends naturally – when we’re older – but what worries me most is what do you see in me. I’m just a pen pusher and a boring inexperienced lez girl – I have so many hang-ups and you’re wasting time on me – I’m not clever enough. I expected to be just a bit of fluff on the side with you and now I’m sharing your bed and feeling we’re married – I’m fucking scared how long you’ll want me.

“Savita, I’ve fucked so many men and women and it is you that I desire most. You, John and Sue are the three I choose to talk to. With John, it was hard – I loved him so much and I still love him – but he always had a part of him that was private and he couldn’t express himself to me. I just wasn’t quite right for him – my sister is. I can see it and now I accept it – besides he’s a man and I am gay at heart – I prefer women – that’s why I had my stupid fling with Anna. But you are right when you think John is special to me – I won’t lie. So, what about Sue? Even ignoring that Lisa is her partner, we’re not quite right together – she’s too similar to me perhaps in some ways and we argue too much – she’s a great friend but not more.”

I went on “Then, there’s you. You excite me physically –let’s be honest, my best sex is with you – you know how to drive me wild even though I am a fuck slut who has so many partners. I crave your body but I love also just lying there with you talking about things, being your wife, caring for you, sharing time and having you tell me about everything – these things are my blessing. In my heart, I rejoice in your company. When I’m waiting around for my next client or even when I’m riding a client’s cock, I think of you – wonder what you are doing and I feel a glow that this marvellous woman is calling me her wife. Savita, I am head over heels in love with you – and also you are not a pen-pusher – you are someone whose views and opinions I value beyond expression. I am amazed by how clever, sensitive and sharp you are – once you get past your shyness.”

Then I said my real fears: “But, Savita, I am frightened: you are developing sexually. And, I am insanely jealous of you with other women but I know you need to spread your wings and I feel that I can lose you so easily.”

Savita laughed: "I am so flattered that you do not take me for granted, darling. I know I am not as experienced as you and you talk about blooming and blossoming – but I don’t want to be as experienced in real life. Possibly I could do it with Yuki but I would prefer to watch Yuki and you fucking and then to fuck you. Let me put it through a comparison. John is very sexually experienced – your sister has only ever had one man and she is very clear that even though she loves sex, she only wants John. I only want you – be very clear about that! I want to fuck only you. I know you are sexually active but I do not want to copy you but complement you and be your special partner as long as you will have me.”

“I want to explore the mistress thing and I do love watching my darling in action.
I enjoy seeing you fuck men or women but I don’t want to be fucked by them – I want to see you responding to them. I do get jealous but it is a sexy jealous – I think ‘Here is my wife being a complete slut and being enjoyed by all these others’ but I also feel that you will return to me – that’s why John and to a lesser extent Sue are harder because they might hold you. If I thought you might choose Yuki over me, I couldn’t watch.”

“I have been struggling with my perversions and talked to your sister who has helped me more than anyone. She reminds me how she plays a sexual whore for John, how she will put on a show and genuinely loves masturbating in front of him – she loves to suck his cock and feel him watching her and she gladly swallows his cum but tries to get some on her face to show him, that she is his slut. She said she loves to look in the mirror and gets very excited when she sees it. She also talks to John about his other women and – even if she is jealous, she is also very turned on. In fact it makes her want to be more competitive and persuade John even more that she is the best fuck for him.”

“She told you all this?!” I asked realising that I had not really appreciated my sister’s full level of sexuality.

“She hasn’t told you? – she will tell almost anyone – we are all so impressed by the way she is so sexually satisfied but that’s not the point. The point is she asked me if she was perverted and has encouraged me to feel that I have a healthy sexual drive – I am not so sure – but I do get so turned on by these things – I’m sorry, Grace – it must be hard for you to have to be a slut for me when you don’t want to. If it’s too hard, just don’t do it.”

“It’s not hard – it’s just I get frightened that it could destroy our relationship.”

“I don’t think it’s hurting from my side – but maybe it makes you love me less?”

“No, Savita I love you just as much. And talking has made me a lot more comfortable with it but tell me the truth, Savita – am I a cheap whore, a bimbo – I seem to always be fucking people – doesn’t that disgust you?”

“Honestly, sometimes I feel you are a slut just as you say but that is only one small part of you – and it is an incredibly exciting part of you. You are not a bimbo because you have a brain. A whore, yes. Cheap – define cheap? But you never, never disgust me – I am just so proud of you – such a desirable, sexy woman.”

Then she pulled me to her and held me and sais, “Now, Grace, let me show just how little you disgust me -don’t talk mistress or serving now – I need you as my lover. Then she kissed me gently upon the month and I felt her hands gently caress me and stroke me. I responded equally gently. Our tongues locked.

Slowly we caressed. Both of us were in nighties which we slid off and our bodies embraced. Gently and slowly we kissed each other all over as lovers. It was an almost instinctive exploration and enjoyment of each other. A natural melding of our bodies as we made slow passionate love.

We were equals loving each other and my climax, when I reached it, was so intense and glorious that it stripped my strength from me and I was relieved that Savita had also climaxed and we lay together entwined and I fell asleep in her arms.

I was so impressed how Savita had realised the need for a gentle love-making session removed from our more sexually wild play: a time for reaffirmation of our union. It is a sign of the strength of our relationship, I believe, that we can manage our sexual play within our total relationship so that it does not undermine the deep ties that we have built. These last few days, I have felt a glow as my life shines under the love of my darling Savita