Coffee with Annette’s Mother

Yesterday morning, Annette’s mother rang me and asked me if I would have a coffee with her. I was very surprised but agreed immediately – I actually felt very nervous about it – although I shouldn’t have been- I should have known that Annette’s mother is just the loveliest woman you could imagine and would never do anything that would be nasty.

When we sat down in a private corner of the coffee shop – actually the same one I met the hunk at - Annette’s mother (who asked her to call her Joan) told me that she really didn’t understand things that well – my world was too unfamiliar but she had had a long talk with Annette and she wanted me to know some things because she thought that I was a kind person and if I knew them I would be less likely to accidentally hurt Annette.

She told me that she had found out that I was a prostitute and that Annette had been one – she wasn’t at all happy to learn this but it was not that big a surprise – she had already guessed it - and the way Annette presented it was less frightening than what she had expected. Annette had told her that both John and I had tried very hard to persuade her not to start working (which is true) and so Annette’s mother said she didn’t blame us and this was not the thing she wanted to talk about.

She said she had to tell me something that Annette was too shy to say herself – that Annette was completely and absolutely obsessed with me. Annette cared very deeply for John and was so proud to have his baby – but she felt no less for me. When Annette had suggested that we form a three way relationship, it was not just that she thought this was the way to keep John, it was even more that she really wanted to be with me and have a full intimate and complete relationship with me. All the time when Annette had been with John and I was against her, she had felt really at a loss. Annette was in awe of my sexuality and openness. She needed me so much but was scared to tell me because she did not feel I cared that much about her and I might think she was silly.

Joan said that Annette would probably be angry at her for telling but she had met me often enough to form a feeling that she could trust me not to use things against Annette. In fact she suspected I would be less likely to cause Annette pain if I knew the intensity of her feelings.

I told Joan I was a bit surprised – I had felt that Annette resented me for sharing John. I was upfront with the fact that I loved John most of all in the world and even though Annette was very special, she could not supplant John. I loved Annette as my second partner. Her mother said she understood that but I had totally misread Annette. Annette was very jealous of John. She was just so scared of losing me that she was scared that John and I would just drop her at some point.

I asked why was Annette trying to push me together with Lin, then – I felt she was trying to get me out of the way. Joan said that she hadn’t talked about Lin with Annette but she guessed it was more to do with reaching out to Lin than anything else. She was 100% sure that Annette was not wanting to get rid of me and had complained about Sandra who she felt was trying to steal me.

She asked a bit about John – I think she is very unsure about him. I tried to set her mind at rest. She asked if he was my pimp and I told her he did not make me work, never took a cent off me and he paid his own way (and much of Annette’s and mine). I admitted he was attracted to very sexual women like me (and Annette) but he was not a user – he always respected both of us and was probably the safest person you could imagine. I said that both Annette and I had freely chosen him – he wasn’t stopping us leaving him anytime but, on the contrary, we were both very focussed on holding on to him and not losing him. Joan said that Annette had said exactly that but it was good to hear the same thing from me.

I think that Joan had already talked about everything what she really wanted to discuss and this was the real reason for the coffee and so then we drifted into more general conversation. She said that she really wanted to understand better. I was most completely sexual woman she had ever met – I unnerved her but also she and her husband both found me fascinating in a positive way. She said they could understand how Annette was attracted to me.

She wanted to be friends with me and was glad that when she tried to talk to me, I was nice to her. I said it was really easy to be nice since it was such a pleasure to talk to her. She asked me why I was prostitute. I tried to explain much of what I have told in this blog. She said she had only ever slept with Annette’s father and didn’t want to try anyone else. I told her that I envied her.

I was amazed how easy it was to talk to her given how our views and life styles are so completely opposed. She asked me what I thought of her husband and I said how much I respected him and how he was always such a gentleman with me and that all I wanted to do was be respectful and polite in return. She asked if I had thought of having sex with him – I was unnerved by that question but replied that it was not on my mind – it would have been a betrayal of Annette and her – and although I am a slut, I do not betray my friends – besides I felt he was not interested. I was pleased how warmly Joan responded – I guess she was a bit nervous that I could have made problems in her marriage.

I think Joan really wants to engage with me – her love for her daughter has driven her to try to get closer to me. I know she is worried about her daughter and extremely uncomfortable with both the lesbianism and the prostitution but Joan also really wants to support not bully her. I slipped up at one time and talked about men “fucking” me and I stopped and got embarrassed about being so crude. She just smiled and told me I should relax – she knew what I did and how I lived my life – I shouldn’t be ashamed and I shouldn’t try to avoid talking about what I do and I should talk naturally – she really did want to understand and she valued my honesty. She could easily have sounded condescending but it wasn’t at all like that – she was just so warm.

Joan mentioned that she had come to town to see Jane– Joan has a legal background and is helping ensure Jane maintains custody of the children and gets proper support. I was so happy to hear this since it is very much on the mind of all Jane’s friends at the moment.

What really made me happy was as we said goodbye she gave me a big hug and said that she was really happy to get to know me and – even if she was uncertain about our lifestyle - she was so glad that Annette had at least chosen someone who was warm and genuine and she hoped we would be friends and thanked me. I told her how much I had enjoyed my talk with her and I was always happy to catch up with her for a coffee if she ever had time. Joan said she would take me up soon on that and I really hope she does.

Sunday 28 December 2008 - 03:14PM (EST)