Pornography

I was surprised when John Commented that I have never written about porn but in fact he is right (as always). So I thought I would discuss three topics he suggested.

How do I respond to it?

Do I like it? Would I star in porn?

How does it fit or compete with the work of a hooker?

Do I like porn and how does it fit in my lifestyle?

I can be very turned on by porn if I am in the right mood – but I need to be feeling sexy to start with. When I was all on my own for some months during my separation from John, I did watch a few videos – mainly lesbian ones- and on a couple of occasions I found some websites that had some exciting material. I mainly watch girl-girl, although I was very turned on by some pictures of Asian girls sucking cock – I feel as if I am the girl. I must confess I did find one site that excited me a lot which showed ladyboys – I am almost embarrassed to admit that I masturbated a few times fantasising about some of these well-hung women fucking me.

Also sometimes when I am chatting with guys on the net they will send me pictures they like – I usually appreciate this since it gives me a feel of what turns them on and often the photos are really quite sexy. I have to confess, however, I do not like those guys who want me to look at their webcam to see their cocks and watch them wank - I see enough cumming cocks in real life not to need to see them on cam.

I do not on the whole hunt up porn and now almost never look at it. John commented that he just doesn’t have the time to watch porn either since he has a full-time job and when he is not looking after our daughter, he is very occupied – after all Annette and I require attention – and with Lisa seeing him regularly and Annie always asking him round “for coffee and a chat” which John admitted, when I asked, means a fuck session. (I will talk a bit more about John and Annie in another blog post- I have some concerns there although I am glad to say I believe John is being 100% honest with me and I still feel so safe with him.)

Would I star in porn?

I have no desire to be in publicly released porn – apart from anything else, I do not want my daughter seeing it ten-fifteen years down the track. There is a video (of which I have the only copy) of me being gang-banged and it is very exciting to watch it with John or Annette so that they can see my complete sluttishness – but I will never make it public. I like to exhibit to people who I see not to anonymous strangers – hence my comment in an earlier blog post about not doing cam and having no desire to so.

Pornography and prostitution

The girls who do pornography seem different to me from the girls I work with. I guess technically the pornography girls are prostitutes since they fuck for money but I would suppose that they usually have more choice than us on who they fuck. Also girls who do pornography are more exhibitionistic – or at least I guess so – many of the girls I know are very shy about being watched. Even I do not want to display to the public as I just remarked even though I am quite turned on by being watched by someone present.

However pornography does impact my work – I get some guys asking for a porn star experience. Porn has shaped their expectations. I think it has increased the demand for different styles of sex, particularly oral (which is good news for me) and anal (which is not so good news given I don’t like doing it). A lot of my clients watch porn – sometimes they have been watching porn before they come to the brothel. I often try to find out what type of porn my clients like since it guides me to what they want. Some men want to talk about what they have seen and like – some are very shy to talk and I just let it drop.

I have worked at a couple of places where porn is piped into the rooms and actually don’t like it that much. It diverts the client’s attention from me for one thing and can slow down things. Also it gets pretty boring since usually they only have one or two DVDs. One client asked me a very interesting question– why did a place that specialise in Asian girls only show porn of western girls fucking – I didn’t have an answer for that – I suspect laziness on the part of whoever bought the DVD.



Saturday 20 December 2008 - 10:49AM (EST)