I have been so busy with life – what with working and family that I have been on-line very little – my internet problems have not helped – my connection keeps dropping out – I have been told it looks like a modem problem.
I am working four or five days a week now – so my pussy is getting a good work-out. In the last two weeks, I have had 93 cocks cum in either my pussy or mouth. Yes I am counting – and why? It is for my special client, F, who I have mentioned before – he is really turned on by knowing how many men are fucking me – what they do with me – how I feel when I am used as a sex object. We go through it in detail and he makes me feel completely whorish as he probes me with questions at the same time as saying things that show me just what a slut I am. I love the way he makes me feel so slutty but also very desirable. I love to watch his cock get hard as I tell him how I have been fucked by my clients. As I talk to him, he will feel me up, playing with my pussy and finger fucking me until I become really wet.
He makes me feel reassured that being a slut is not ugly but a beautiful experience. I am letting myself slide into being a totally sexual woman. I find I am even climaxing more with other clients.
F. never lets me forget just how much I am a whore – even when he is inside me fucking my cunt or mouth, he will be reminding just how many men have used me, how hot I am and how deeply sexual and submissive I am to my fuck partners. He explores my mind with me and brings my sexuality to the top – just like John did – but he goes one stage further and uses me completely as a whore. The humiliation and reduction to being a sex object satisfies something deep inside me.
John was always too polite and concerned about me as a person to go as far as F does – looking back on it, I realise that as a husband and a partner John was perfect but as a fuck partner I wanted more assertion from him in our fuck sessions.
My sessions with F. vary greatly but have a basic pattern. When I meet F., the money is always handed to me upfront – F. insists I count it and reminds me that for these notes, I am selling him my body. Once the money is settled, we start on the real business – almost always this requires me kneeling in front of him and sucking him off in front of the mirror. We can both see my mouth being filled with his cock. After he has cum a first time in me -usually into my mouth but sometimes he has moved on to my cunt - we start on a slower play with him cross-examining about how slutty I have been – hence my counting – at the same time as he gets me to display myself to him and beg him to use me again.
There is a good deal of humiliation in the way he uses me – but, there is also an underlying respect of me as a sexual woman. I love the way he calls me names – most of them quite derogatory and unacceptable outside of the context of our fuck sessions. But he does more – he fucks me hard; he makes me watch in the mirror as I am penetrated in my mouth or pussy. When he has cum inside me, he gets me to stand in front of the mirror and see his cum dripping from me. Strange to say but when I am watching myself in the mirror and hearing his words, he makes m feel more beautiful than many men who praise me.
He touches me a lot – playing with my tits as well as my pussy – he might make me lick my pussy juices off his finger or his cock. I spend a lot of time working on his cock, either sucking it or stroking it but also use my body to stimulate him – sometimes I give body-to-body massage, sometimes I rub my pussy all over him; sometimes I sit on his face and let him lick my pussy, spreading my legs as wide as possible.
It is hard to describe just how sexy these sessions are but the key thing is the variations in timing, ways of fucking me, what he says to me that provide him the opportunity to assert control. I feel I am serving him throughout. The theme might be a slut serving a man but the variety in serving keeps it vital – I think neither of us knows quite how any session will work out except that I will work my hardest to satisfy all his sexual needs or wishes.
One time, we hired Annie, my transsexual friend, to come and join in the session. He still insisted I tell him and Annie exactly what I have been doing in my work, graphically describing the way men have used my pussy and mouth. I actually felt both embarrassed and turned-on to parade my sexual events in front of Annie. I could see Annie getting hard as I talked – she told me later that she was fantasising of serving men the same way. Then he got Annie to take turns fucking my pussy or cunt while he worked on the other hole. Annie also fucked his face – it seems that he was really turned on by her and in fact, Annie says she has seen him a few times since then privately.
Another time, he brought another man (Chris) along and I had to serve both of them. F watched me being fucked by and sucking Chris. Later on they used me at the same time with each in one hole. They were discussing me like a piece of meat but I didn’t care; I was turned on by being used.
He also hired another girl one time – a Thai girl called May who I used to work with a couple of years back. May is very sexy and will do anything if she is paid for it – she loves money. I had done a lesbian double with her when we worked together and she licked me and spread her legs for me to lick – but she had never seemed to have any real interest – it was just playing for the client.
When May heard me talk about what I did with clients, I think she was secretly laughing at me but did join in whenever required, including licking my pussy and letting me lick her. F. fucked both of us and we both sucked him. To be honest, this was the least successful session and I wished that it was either Sue or Lisa with whom I would be more comfortable to work and who know me as the slut I am.
F. has also discussed arranging a gang bang but he hasn’t panned out the details.
In so many ways, F. reminds me of John but the main differences are that I don’t love F. and that F. makes me serve him in a way that John never did – I really needed to explore further how to get John to use me further – I know he wanted to but his control mechanisms always snapped in and stopped him from just letting go.
There is one thing I definitely do miss that I got from John and not from F.: pillow talk. After John had fucked me and we were tired out, how often we lay together talking about things – often my work or his past sex life. We would fall asleep together and I felt then a safety and an ease that I have not felt for a long time.
Monday 4 August 2008 - 09:44AM (EST)
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