Chantelle says sorry - I feel sorry

I received a letter and some flowers from Chantelle. Her handwriting was like a ten year old’s and quite hard to read. In fact, the letter was dreadfully written with the worst spelling and quite ungrammatical – at first, I wanted to laugh but as I read it and thought, I actually felt quite sad. Chantelle had laboured over this letter and it expressed her frustration. I know I am lucky that I can learn and could get another job. I feel I am too arrogant when I do not respect Chantelle enough – she is struggling in a hostile world. Maybe I am no cleverer but just being able to write better gives me so much advantage.

The letter read more or less like this – it was a bit hard to actually read at some points – it was written on floral-designed paper.

“Dear ….(my real name omitted but misspelt),

I am truely sory. I shouldn’t said those things but I was real angry.

I tell u. I am not clever. I find hard to wriet cos I am stupid. But I want u and Annet not 2 be angry at me cos I liek u 2 so much. I left school at 15 cos I cannot learn. All I can do is work as a prosttituet. I do not liek it. I wish I was clever liek u. Plz not tell me I am hooker. I noe it is tru but I want 2 be cortesan its much better!

I tell u – I am lez –I not liek 2 fuck men but want mony. When u sit there show tits and look SO SO sexy, I feel craizy Horney. that maek me so angry. I want u so much. u 2 SEXY but u lagh at me. Pls not lagh at me. I noe I stupid. Plz be kind.

I did wrong say those things. Plz forgive me.

Plz forgive my bad writing but vry hard 4 me 2 write letter.

All my love 2 gorjous u

LOVE U!

Chantelle

I showed Annette the letter and her immediate comment was “not another admirer for you Grace – can’t you stop being irresistible?” I told her to stop teasing me and she said she was serious. She told me she gets jealous of other girls. “What about Lin?” I countered, “you encouraged her”. “Oh Lin is different, she doesn’t love you – no need to be jealous.” Annette seemed very certain on that point. Annette then asked me if I had forgiven Chantelle and I said that I had never really been that angry although I didn’t like her remark on Asians. “I doubt she really understood what she was saying was so offensive”, Annette commented. I think she is right.

Chantelle had very carefully written her mobile phone number and I gave her a call. She seemed so happy to hear from me - I was surprised that she was so warm. She kept thanking me for calling her and saying how sorry she was and begging me to forgive her.

I told her, it was o.k. and she asked if I would mind if she called round to talk to me. I said it was fine and about an hour later she was at our door. She was wearing a very low-cut blouse that accentuated her breasts and a very short dress. Because she is so beautiful, she could get away with it but her clothing was really quite ordinary, the dress and blouse didn’t really quite match. Her shoes were clunky.

Annette was very cool to her and hardly said hello. Chantelle tried to get Annette to forgive her and said she was so sorry to upset her and told Annette how sad she had been when Annette was angry at her. Annette just said “well, you’re here now”. “You’re still angry?” asked Chantelle and Annette replied “not about what you said but I hate you trying to steal Grace when I am so big and lumpy – I am feeling more like a beached whale and you are there – so fucking sexy and beautiful – how can I compete? When you’re after the girl I love how can I be friendly?”

I said to Annette that she wasn’t just any beached whale, she was my beached whale and that she shouldn’t be so jealous – I was sure Chantelle was not really interested but then Chantelle said of course she was interested in me which was an unhelpful remark.

However, Annette relaxed a bit and we chatted away – I hate to say it but talking to Chantelle is hard – she has not much to say but I agreed to go out with her shopping - she wants advice on how to pick out some good outfits both for work and for outside.

When she left, she gave a peck on the cheek to Annette and a big kiss (with tongue) to me and whispered to me that she wanted me to drop into her flat to “have some good times together”. I could feel Annette scowling behind me.

I said a non-committal “thank you” and let her out. I had to head off for work but I know I need a heart-to-heart with Annette before I see Chantelle again and also I want to talk to her about Lin - I am very worried about her - as a few comments to my last blog mentioned, there are a lot of traps in dealing with her.

Friday 30 January 2009 - 02:06PM (EST)